Guys, Met an amazing guy I wanna see again but he’s going through personal stuff, should I ask him to meet before I leave for Europe for 3 weeks?

[Anonymous]

I went on an amazing date with a guy and within the week he asked me out again, but he got sick. He updated me to see if he could push through. About a few days later I checked in because I wanted to see him the following weekend and he said this: “Hey so sorry I didn’t get back sooner! Feeling better but having a rough week. Have some personal stuff going on that’s been really tough. But can’t wait to hang again I’ll let you know when things are better.” It sounds like he really wants to see me too, but I do see him on the app we met on which I know means nothing. Is it ok in a couple weeks before I leave to message him if I haven’t heard from him? Or should I just leave it? It sounds like he’s being really straight forward.

[Oliverlogan263]

I'd say you should definitely message him before you leave. It sounds like you really liked him and had a good connection on your first date. Guys can be bad at keeping in touch sometimes when they're going through personal stuff, so I wouldn't take it personally if he hasn't messaged you himself yet. He did say he wants to hang out again once things calm down, so he's probably still interested.

I know it's kind of annoying not knowing where you stand, but it seems like he was being honest about having a rough time recently. Maybe sending him a quick message could cheer him up and remind him of your date too. Something like "Hey, hope things have improved on your end. Just wanted to check in before I leave for my trip - are you around to grab a coffee sometime soon?" Then at least you took a chance without coming on too strong.

If he says he's still busy dealing with stuff, you'll know you tried and there's no regret. But there's a chance his situation has improved and he'd be glad you reached out. I say it's worth a little message to see if you can squeeze in one more date. Three weeks is a long time to go without knowing, and you don't want to spend the trip wondering "what if?". Good luck, hope you guys can connect again!

[Asker]

what do you think if this week (it’s about a week since and just send a “Hey just wanted to send a quick text that I’m hope things are getting better :)” I don’t want to leave it for another week and Thursday will be a week since he sent that text? It’s casual now so what do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah luv I think sending a quick text this week would be alright. Like you said it's been about a week since he last messaged you, so checking in now isn't too soon I don't think.

Sending something casual like "Hey, just wanted to send a quick text and hope things are getting better :) " is cool cause it's not putting any pressure on him but still lets him know you're thinking about him.

If it was me, I'd probably send that text tomorrow or the next day. Gives it a full week since y'all last talked so it dont seem pushy. And doing it earlier in the week leaves time for him to potentially respond and set something up before you leave if he's feeling up to hanging.

I say go for it boo! A short, casual message shows you're still interested without being over the top. If he responds great, if not then at least you tried. Good luck Queen, keep me posted how it goes! Fingers crossed for ya.

[Asker]

He responded and said that it means a lot Hey thanks so much that means a lot! Hope you have an awesome fourth and we spoke a bit, he’s with family. But I think he’s being honest, I am gonna leave it I think and the next time he texts me just remind him I’m leaving on my trip. I know it won’t mean anything but I hope he realizes 3 weeks away is a bit.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww that's awesome, I'm glad he responded positively! Seems like he really does want to see you again once things settle down with his fam. Good call to leave it for now since he's with them. When you remind him about your trip before leaving, maybe say something like "Hope things are less hectic with the fam soon so we can link up before I jet! Hit me up if you're around next weekend 😉" That puts the ball in his court without pressuring.

I bet in a week or so once he's had some space, he'll be all about meeting up if he's really feeling you. And if not, then hey - at least you tried! But this guy seems interested for sure. Have an amazing trip to Europe too, should be so fun. Wish I could go with, but hopefully we'll hang when you're back with all the wild stories haha. Keep me posted if he responds to your trip reminder text! Fingers crossed for you guys.

[Mr_twoface]

There is no harm in letting him know that you are going on a trip and are keen to meet again if he can. Just don’t leave it to the last minute so he cancels on you again. If you give him plenty of time and he still makes excuses without clear follow-up, then leave it to be thereafter.

[OlderAndWiser]

You have nothing to lose by making a suggestion but don't be too confident about how he will respond.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It wouldn't hurt to be upfront with the guy if he is genuinely being upfront with you. You could simply say where and when you're going, and ask if he'd like to meet up before you go.
I don't see anything wrong with that!

[Asker]

Thank you, I always am weary because it sounds like he’s being upfront and really wants to see me. I really wanna be respectful just because who knows the personal stuff he’s dealing with (assuming he’s being honest which it seems like he is). It sounds like he really wants to see me too.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're welcome. He hasn't told you of any of the personal stuff he's going through, so you are doing the right thing by not prying, and not attempting to predict what that may or may not be. In all honesty? Just going on a date with you might be exactly what he needs to forget everything that's going on, even if for just a while. You might both benefit from just a nice day out together.

[Asker]

what do you think if this week (it’s about a week since and just send a “Hey just wanted to send a quick text that I’m hope things are getting better :)” I don’t want to leave it for another week and Thursday will be a week since he sent that text? It’s casual now so what do you think?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yes, if I was nitpicking though, 'I' instead of 'I'm' . but otherwise, yes, that's nice.