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In June I met a guy off of Feeld and it was perfect. After he told me he wanted to see me as soon as he got home. When I suggested a kinky scenario he suggested dinner, but cancelled because he got sick. A week after he told me he’s been really struggling with bad mental health but every time I had a check in told me he couldn’t wait to see me when things were better, and that he’d let me know. The last message he said, thanks so much for being so cool about everything and he promised we’d see each other. I sent a message checking in and then telling him I couldn’t wait to see him and some explicits.
He said I promise we’ll see each other again, I just was away for a month on a really big trip I told him about. I told him before I left how I couldn’t wait to see him and he didn’t respond. So I send a text letting him know I was back. And told him how I felt and a text about all I wanted to do with him. I’ve seen him update his profile, but I know when I was in the worst spot mentally I was doing the same thing.
He told me before he feels the same, he hasn’t deleted anything I’ve said. Also I had a snap I sent him and I saw his score go up, which I know means nothing. Do I just wait?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Okay, this is tricky. A few things could be going on:
1. He really has been struggling with his mental health and isn't in a good place to start anything new right now, even if he really likes you. Updating his profile could just be him mindlessly scrolling when not feeling well.
2. He's lost interest but hasn't had the balls to say so directly yet. Not responding to your last few messages isn't a good sign.
3. Some combo of the above - he's iffy but using his mental state as an excuse to keep you on the backburner in case he changes his mind later.
My advice would be - don't initiate anymore contact. You've put it out there that you're interested, now the ball is in his court. If he really does want to pursue something, he'll get in touch when he says he's feeling better.
I know it's annoying not to have closure, but constantly reaching out could come across as desperate or pushy when he's already given an explanation for space. Give it like 2 more weeks then maybe send one casual follow up like "hope you're doing okay these days, let me know if you ever wanna grab that dinner!"
Past that, I'd say you gotta start moving on and protecting your own feelings. It sucks, but don't let this guy string you along indefinitely if he's not willing to meet you halfway. You deserve better than that!
Hey Henry, I just wanted to see where you are. When we met, unexpectedly, it felt undeniable, and if you think so too, I'd love to start again when you're ready. If you're still working through things, I understand. But I’d love to know where your head's at. I know we’ve only met once, it just felt so easy with you."
Text 7 (Final):
"Would you like to start again? I still want to do all the dirty things we talked about and more.. when you do fill me up I want to touch myself with your cum inside of me and more.. If you need more time, just tell me. We haven’t even started yet. I understand. I still want you."
The others were just checking in and this was me being honest about my feelings. He hasn’t deleted me or blocked me. And honestly I’m thinking in 2 weeks if I haven’t heard back it might be time I do that. It would definitely show him I’m serious, but it would maybe ruin any chance if it is real. What do you think?
I can understand wanting clarity on where things stand, since you really connected with this guy. However, I'd be cautious about coming on too strong in your messages, since he's dealing with mental health issues. Pushing too hard could potentially scare him off or make him feel pressured.
Given that you've only met once and he's said he needs some time, I think waiting the full 2 weeks without contacting him again is a good idea. That shows you respect his space while still letting him know you're interested if/when he's ready. After 2 weeks with no response, I'd say it's fair to delete/unfollow so you're not left hanging indefinitely.
Overall though, try not to invest too much emotionally until you get a solid sign he wants to pursue things further. Mental health can complicate relationships. As hard as it is, staying patient and keeping expectations realistic may be the best approach for now. Focus on yourself and friends/family who can support you fully in the present. Hope this helps give some perspective! Let me know if any other thoughts come up.
I think I’m gonna leave it, what I said was honest and genuine, if he feels the same he will come back and mirror that. It was so real. I think 2 weeks is enough. That would be a month and a half. I only have been back for 2 days, I just said I was back earlier to see if we were on. Maybe we will be. And I know the messages were explicit (sorry about my candor) we got to that point so it seemed fair to leave it there. No more texts though. Over the span of the month I sent a few it’s time to leave it and the balls in his court.
You know, I get why you felt the need to express how you really feel after waiting so long. And you're right, you did develop a pretty intimate connection based on what you described before. So it makes sense to be honest about your thoughts and desires.
At the same time though, he may still need more space even if it's been a few weeks. There's no harm in giving it a full two weeks like you said with no contact. That shows you're respecting his request for time without pressure.
If after two full weeks you still haven't heard back, then maybe one final check-in message to leave the ball in his court would be okay. But I'd still keep it pretty casual—something simple like "Hope you're doing well, here if you ever want to chat" rather than rehashing everything you told him before.
Who knows, he might just need the full two weeks to sort his head out. Leaving that final check-in open could work out better than declaring it's over already, if he does happen to come around. But yeah, no more messages after that last one. Ball's fully in his court then. Fingers crossed for you guys!
Hmmm I mean you may just have to wait
Unless he continues to ignore you for a extended period of time, I wouldn't worry about it. I have no idea what going through a bad mental state is so I have no insight on that but you say you've also done similar things he's done so I suggest you. Since you've been in a similar feeling, just put yourself in his shoes and see look at what he's doing and try to understand why he's not doing what he usually does
I wouldn't throw anything away. Just be patient and trust the dude.
Thank you, I think I’ll have to do that. Also if I send 6 texts over a month and he didn’t delete me, it’s a good sign. I spaced it out from before and after. I think I just have to remain confident. If he feels the same way he’ll come back. It seems like he did feel the same, and you are right. But no more texting for sure, thank you!
It's been a MONTH
Yes definitely at that point let him hit you up. But if this goes on for too long. Don't find yourself waiting for him and preventing yourself from finding someone
I'm not saying jump ship right now. But just don't wait a long ass time with no contact
Yes, I’m gonna give it a few more weeks to see, and then if it’s on my mind too much I’m gonna delete everything. I hope he’s honest. I don’t care if he’s f’ing other girls and getting whatever he needs outta his system. I just knew he was special. I know the difference between sex and the heart. This was everything. I know he felt it. I just don’t know if he’s there too. And a month away is whatever. This is sooo what I get for lying I was here 6 days before I landed. I landed yesterday, soo my karma for telling a lie like that. The final text was sent last night so we shall see. Thanks for the advice.
Uhhh no you don't mind if he fucking other girls? You're an interesting critter🤔
Out of curiosity, do you believe men who cheat can still fully be in love with their girl?
I just know if it’s true it’s gonna come back, I also know I was most active and meeting new people when I was really sick mentally. We haven’t really gotten started yet. If he feels the same it won’t matter. Also because of this past month I’ve been seeing other people, it wouldn’t be fair for me to judge him, especially if the other girls are just sex. We shall see what happens. I’m gonna give it until end of September before fully moving on and just continue to date others.
And I do think so.