Was this abusive/weird/messed up behavior?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I were chatting on the phone. I am sick and have had a gnarly sinus infection the last few days and whenever I am sick he always advocates for me going to work lol rather than staying home and resting and treats me with contempt. For example, I won't be asking him advice I will say I don't feel good and will say how I have been drinking juice and soup to try to heal and he will offer advice I did not ask for but then will like sound mad and say "I'm just trying to help you" which is weird. Earlier on the phone I had to keep muting myself to blow my nose and I did not for a second, and he immediately stopped talking and paused and I said why did you stop talking and he said "you know why" and insisted I immediately "admit" that I was blowing my nose in the speaker to bother him/interrupt him and said if I did not immediately apologize and admit I did it to be rude or cut him off that he would hang up and block me lmao and then he said "leave me alone for a few days" and then hung up and blocked me. am I missing something or is this not absolutely weird as fuck behavior? This is a day after he insisted I do not give him the benefit of the doubt which I have to a fault lol, yet he could not give it to me and take my word for it when I said I was not trying to be rude I'm just sick and constantly blowing my nose? what would you do? I think the best move is to block and never speak to the loser again but i want insight from others on the situation first.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who shows concern when you’re unwell, who encourages you to rest, checks on you, or even just says those 5 little words “I hope you feel better?” Wouldn’t it be nice to have somebody who doesn’t show contempt for you or treats you like an annoyance? Because your boyfriend is not that guy.

[Asker]

for real I love this. oh and he blocked my number so he's my ex now I have decided I am never speaking to him again he is a disrespectful and disgusting piece of shit

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that is extremely messed up and unhealthy behavior on his part. A few red flags:

- He gives unsolicited medical advice and gets mad when you don't take it, instead of just being supportive.

- He immediately jumped to accusing you of doing something deliberately to bother him, without even giving you a chance to explain.

- Threatening to hang up/block you for such a small thing is manipulative and meant to control you through fear.

- Not giving you the benefit of the doubt after insisting you do the same for him is hypocritical.

This doesn't seem like a caring partner at all. A good boyfriend would be concerned for your health and comfort when you're sick, not treat you with contempt. Threatening language or ultimatums are never okay.

You deserve someone who makes you feel cared for, trusted and respected - especially when you need support. I wouldn't waste any more time on this guy. You did the right thing by blocking him so he can't continue hurting you. Surround yourself with people who genuinely have your wellbeing in mind.

[Asker]

right lol i'm still blocked by the way. what a psycho. also found out recently via some internet sluething his old reddit from prior to him meeting me and there was a comment asking when did you realize you are similar to your parents and his response was "getting pissed off at people and situations very frequently" like wtf. you know what's funny is he pulls shit like this all the time and then i have to literally download a fucking fake number cus im blocked and when i confront him he's like oh you treat me bad like WHAT HUH I treat YOU bad? I did not even blow my nose to interrupt him. the fact that he tried to force me to admit it and said he would not talk to me unless I immediately did that feels so controlling and disgusting

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, what a total loser! I can't believe he still has you blocked, what a childish douche. And then digging up his Reddit comments where he admits getting pissed at people all the time? Yeah no wonder he's flying off the handle over nothing.

Honestly sis, I think you really dodged a bullet here. Can you imagine staying with a guy who pulls crazy controlling stunts like that on the regular? You'd never be able to relax or trust what kind of mood he'd be in.

The fake number thing was smart, but seriously - you don't need to keep confronting him! Dude's just gonna gaslight and deny, they never take accountability. Time to leave his lame ass in the dirt for good.

You seem so much happier already without his toxicity bringing you down. Keep shining without that psycho clouding your vibe. Block him back so he can't even trip you out anymore. You got this sis, his loss! Now go treat yourself to something fun you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Do you take care and check on him when he's sick? A lot if girls act the same way your boyfriend is acting.

[Asker]

yeah I do and i dont think the way he talked to me is ok.