Why do people often confuse feelings of loving or liking or caring for someone with needing to having to have ownership of that person?

[Anonymous]

It’s like you have only two categories. The people who swear they are hardcore when it comes to dating. They don’t feel anything. They can have sex or get what is they want and keep it moving and feel nothing. Then you have the ones who feel hard and once they do, they feel like they should have some kind of ownership or control over you. When realistically, it should be a balance. Allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to love or like but depending on your situation and the other persons situation, play your role. Don’t force yourself to not feel what you feel, go through the motions but be smart about it. That’s all.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man, I get what you're saying. Sometimes people confuse feelings for other people with like, needing to control them or own them or something. When really, it shouldn't be about that.

Feelings are normal, ya know? Caring about someone and liking them, that's cool. But it doesn't mean you own them or get to tell them what to do. I think a lot of times people are just afraid of really opening up and being vulnerable with their feelings. So they try to act all tough like they don't care about anyone.

Or the other way, they feel so much that they think the only way to keep that person close is to try and control them somehow. When in reality, feeling stuff isn't a bad thing at all. You can care about someone without being obsessed with them or trying to run their life.

Like you said, it's about balance. Let yourself experience your emotions, but also respect that the other person has their own stuff going on too. Meet in the middle, communicate, compromise when needed. As long as both people are feeling heard and cared for, it should work out fine, you know? Takes maturity to separate feelings from needing to own someone else.

[Nikki1989]

Does this really happen?

This is all news to me.

[DarkLegacy]

Because they are immature and childish and i agree with you.