Frustrated by the circle of crap dating but also feel sad if I stop?

[Crimsyjo]

I've heard it all. About not looking and enjoying life without trying to find "the one" and all that. I have a pretty active life. I study, work, go to events, cafes, clubs. But I miss having those crush feelings when you really into someone. Life just feels dull and empty despite how much I cram into it. I'm tired of scrolling dating apps trying to find a genuine connection. And even when one seems genuine for a few days it doesn't last. I can make good friend connections online but why not romantic ones? I'm down today cos of being ghosted by a guy i really liked with no explanation. So excuse my rather meh posts today. I wanna give up on men and sex and dating! But I just can't let go of wanting!

[hahahmm]

There's a LOT of women now complaining that they can't get a (quality) guy for serious. Women decided to act like men and sleep around with tons of guys for decades and not be loyal to a man. The end result is now there's way fewer guys willing to take women seriously and fewer women worth taking seriously. It's a very bad combination.

It turns out that the feminists were wrong when they claimed that a woman can do whatever she feels like doing & still get everything she wants in life. Actually, despite his preferences being constantly mocked & ignored by women, at the end of the day he has the power to opt out.

My advice -- which of course you won't like if you're the type to mock/hate on traditions -- is to be as traditional and traditionally feminine as possible. To value the man. To show respect to men. To show respect for yourself. To be trustworthy. To be capable of loyalty. To stop talking to all the "good friends" online. When you meet a man who finds you interesting enough to take seriously, he's NOT going to stick around if you are messaging dozens of sex addicts. He's not that stupid.

[Crimsyjo]

It makes sense. And I agree to a large degree. I just find it hard to swallow that men have always cheated and thought nothing of having lots if sex whilst having a "loyal wife at home" yet now the woman thinks that's not acceptable and plays men at their own game men now have a problem with it?
Everyone loses because both genders can't be respectful and keep from only thinking sex. There's no trust on either side anymore. And that started with men not women.

[hahahmm]

Well not ALL men are cheaters. I'd say most aren't. But it turns out that women are drawn to the few guys who need to have hundreds of women so from a woman's POV you can get a slanted impression of men in general. And the reason a man can have 10,000 partners and still get a wife is because most women don't care (even if some do) about a man's count. Most men DO care about a woman's count. See, feminists could not waive the magic "equality" wand and force men to think the way women think! Another area like this is how women think if they get a degree it will impress men and make her more valuable to a man. It just doesn't work like that cause guys don't look at women the same way women look at men.
Personally, I never cheated. But I totally understand why some guys need multiple women. Guys don't have a hard time mentally separating sex from deeper stuff. A guy *could* sleep with 5 women and it means nothing. Seems like (the vast majority of) women can't really do that. They keep baggage/feelings of some type.

[Crimsyjo]

Hmm yh. That's a weakness of man. That they can do that and not value their woman, commitment or consider her feelings. But expect her too. Sexism. Feminism went the wrong way. It tried to make women equal to men. But men should have been made equal to women.
Having feeling, care, bond, emotion is a virtue not the problem.

Oh well... it's broken. Hopefully one day us women will refuse all sex with all men. Then see where that leaves us.

[hahahmm]

But if men had the same feelings as women then men would behave just like women and we wouldn't have civilization at all. Men & women are supposed to compliment each other not be identical. But yes, many men have weaknesses. I think women do too but women are clever enough to blame men for any problem they cause themselves 😀

[TommyMountainFigure]

I wish I knew the answer to that @Crimsyjo I think whoever finds the secret to that question for both sexes will be a millionaire overnight.

I was discussing the need for social clubs in as many local areas for everyone as possible the other day, for all age groups, where women and men can just meet up once or twice a week. It would make it so much easier to make connections, and who knows? Arrange days out in groups or just as a couple.

[Crimsyjo]

Would it just be for singles? Or couples too? Cos if for couples it will probably turn into a place for swingers to hunt haha. Sex finds a way to corrupt every innocent venture!
by the way I am a member of social groups. Haven't met anyone yet. The few guys I like end up not being single!!

[TommyMountainFigure]

This is the thing.. Every day can be a different event for people who want different things out of life.. Predominantly though, the idea would be for singles to meet, but just because they start out as singles, if they meet someone they like, they don't have to stop going just because they are a couple.. Common sense is needed as far as swingers go.. That will defeat the whole object! As for the guys who turn out not to be single.. 'bastards' unless of course they made you aware from the start when you spoke to them.

[Crimsyjo]

Excellent reply as always!
"Bastards" love it. Just honest and straight to the point.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thanks @Crimsyjo. I try!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for MHO too >:D<

[SueShe]

Why do you want to hold on something that is not worth holding on. Sex/pornography is overrated and would probably only bring you temporary relief of some kind, I presume.

Now, you could easily avoid to be ruled by your hormones by doing some simple tricks. They work fine for me and I never ever have any such useless urges and I am in control of my libido rather than to be a slave of it.

Try to exert yourself and tire yourself out, think of other, nicer things than just of fornicating which is more of an annoyance than a satisfaction on the long run. Also, eating the right foods that lower the libido, meditating and yoga exercises are great help for lower the libido to an almost non existing level and to keep my mind occupied with more sensible activities.

To sum up. I don't get horny whether on my periods or not. This is simply a feeling that I don't have to worry anymore.

That works perfectly for me.

[Crimsyjo]

Oh God no that sounds awful. I was -thanks to a bad relationship and my hormones controlled by the depo injection - exactly like that for 8 years. No interest in sex or men. Life was simpler yeah. I focused on losing weight, exercise, education and career goals.
But it's like being a zombie. When I came off the depo and felt my sexual awakening it is a good and healthy thing and being loved and enjoying sex is wonderful and adds something to life nothing else can give you. BUT finding it sucks. So yh sometimes i think I was happier not wanting it. But it's a life half lived...

[SueShe]

You can find your peace without drugs or medicine and being sexless is just simply fantastic because you can concentrate on the really important things of life. Sex is definitely not one of them.

[SixFootSexy]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/se8IVTdXDWw

Turns out... when you get old, not as many men want you anymore. Especially if you've already been with Brad Pitt.

[Enes38]

It is important to find the right person for love and I think everything will change once you find the right person.

[Crimsyjo]

Oh you are absolutely right @Enes38 🥰 It's the reason I just can't give up even when days like this suck.

[Enes38]

You can change your thoughts

[Enes38]

@Crimsyjo I think love is a very beautiful and special thing. I think you may have different thoughts because you have not met the right person until today, but loving a person is truly a priceless thing.

[Bklynbadboy12]

You do know that when you stop looking for it is when you'll find that connection right. You know it goes it that chance encounter that's when the sparks always seem to fly

[Crimsyjo]

8 years I wasn't looking and not a single chance encounter, flirt, connection, male-friendship even. Felt like I had to be more proactive. Now I get 100's of guys "interested" but only in sex. Not that spark or connection...

[Bklynbadboy12]

Then tone back the sex make it so they have to get to know you to get the sex ans see what happens then. I've conversed with you before and you seem like an amazing woman. Show them that side of you and im sure they'll see it too! 😉

[Crimsyjo]

Aww @bklynbadboy12 it's like I know this deep down but hearing you say it makes so much sense!!
I've been thinking much more about where I can meet a range of people more naturally. Like join a sports club or something. And also I want to change my job as currently I work weekends which sucks when potential friends and dates work Monday to Friday.
And then yeah... dial back on "advertising " my sexual side so much! Which is hard lol. I'm gonna be honest that drawing attention feeds my ego and self esteem. But if it ultimately leads to nowhere I gotta let that go right?
*hugs*

[RyanR03]

What do you like 1-2-3? And does he need to be exciting? Height, income? Do you like men who have faith in God or is that too square?

[In_Trance]

So what's your question?

[Crimsyjo]

It's kinda equivalent of rock and hard place. If neither direction brings happiness what's the middle ground?

[CubaPirate]

Don't give up girl not all men are assholes

[Crimsyjo]

❤️ thank u @CubaPirate. I can't give up. Even if I feel like it today!

[CubaPirate]

You're very welcome keep your chin up