Do men actually regret loosing a good girl?

Question

Seriously, if a man has a great girlfriend and she was the best why would he leave her in the first place if he will regret losing her, like if she is good and nth wrong what makes him wants to leave her, why would he regret leaving her when he made that choice, and even if he did regret losing her and wanted her back, what makes him gonna change and not leave her again

Skinhead-1979 · Accepted Answer

I did regret it once... but oh boy did I get punished for it (it's debatable whether she was 'good'...)

It was when I was 20/ 21. The relationship started, as per usual, off magically... A story of "It was meant to be". We were into the same music, we went out a lot, seem to connect well and... had a difficult past.

We seemed to be growing apart getting close to the '1 year anniversary'. I started to lose interest in going to raves, and she was still fully in her partying-mode. She started to go to raves with 2 guys she knew; we got into minor arguments more and more; she slapped me once when she was angry (not hard.. but still).

Eventually I had my own place... that was always the intention; living together was a temporary arrangement because I decided to move city, still same as city as where she lived... but a little distance apart. Once I came home from work, I was stoned (she didn't like that if I was with her, so I smoked when I was not. Truth be said, by that time I couldn't tell her), and she was in my bed. Now, that's of course not really a problem... but because I was stoned I was caught so off-guard that I wasn't exactly pleased. I didn't get angry, not at all... but I was very distant. It was a rather awkward, unpleasant evening/ night.

I spoke with her sister, and of course she said that since it had gotten to all of this, it was time to let go. Very difficult for me, I love too hard, but I asked if I could talk to my girlfriend and said that I was going to break up; that it was best for us, yada yada yada. I was about to leave her flat and she said "If you walk out of that door, it is over"... but I left anyway.

Oh boy did I regret it... I've tried for months to get back in her good books, and it really seemed as if I was going succeed. She made promises that in a few months time we'd be together again...
... so I patiently waited while doing everything for her.

She wanted to go to a Rave, but didn't have any money. Ok, love, how much do you need? ƒ250.-? (Old Dutch Currency). Here you go have fun. Oh... you are wearing that nice [expensive] dress I had bought for you [which you have never worn]? You look lovely.

For 5 days I didn't hear anything... and then she finally rung up: "Hey, I've had fun; I'll give you your ƒ250 back soon. Oh, I have met someone else and stayed with him; we've had sex too. Bye" *click*... beep... beep... beep.

Universaldance · Accepted Answer

I actually regret losing a good girl only through holding on to the image of what it could’ve turned out to be as we figure things out through faith together. And I've also regretted losing a girl because of the sexual intimacy Im missing out on because Im now single and physically incomplete- although, never alone spiritually

A number of other important factors that also come to mind for me:

-perhaps shame or not being fulfilled because relationship started with misread intentions but the image of we make a cute couple was there which is common

-wall of insecurities, lack of self-esteem, ego

-lack of clarity for us (long-term) and that’s typically because lack of substance and chemistry, we may feel like each other’s viewpoints are fixed and there’s just so much to overcome so not feeling the same love I once did

- lack of depth with one another (we’ve been together for long and been so close yet only know so much about her even though she excels in her ‘gf role’)

-carrying guilt/trauma from past relationships and experiences that aren’t communicated in full (lack of transparency)

-vulnerability, we are resilient and mentally tough but if I feel I can't open up to her about something important- even though us guys would often find support with other guys it is still key for my partner to AT LEAST know that Im struggling (not specific things) but just understanding, awareness, boundaries, and being extended some grace periods in times where I've been beat down and not as strong (I may have other family challenges on the side going on weighing on me or work stresses that are not even worth mentioning but the grace and support alone during that storm would boost my morale instead of taking in more baggage)

In general though, can you and I have a deeper connection besides surface level? Besides cultural relationship standards and expectations of what we’re supposed to do,.. what we’re supposed to doo.. when we’re supposed to doo…

Can we learn what we need to grow close before we grow apart

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Guys regret losing a good girl. My ex has admitted to me that he regrets losing me and that he didn't realize what he had with me until it was gone. He always took for granted the very sweet things I did and didn't show appreciation until after I broke up with him. He actually went out of his way to talk down to me, cheat on me, and made me feel 2 feet tall and that I wasn't good enough for him. After we broke up, he tells me that I loved him so well and that his current girlfriend doesn't match it and that he never felt as loved as he did with me. But that ship has long sailed and I would never revisit that relationship.

When someone gives you their best and all you do is degrade & demean them, you learn to love yourself and find someone you truly loves what you bring to the table. My current boyfriend is so loving, affectionate, sweet & never stops making me feel like a very special person to him <3 So to answer the question, they do regret it (as my ex has demonstrated) but they have to own up to their shortcomings & maybe treat the next person better. I think he learned a valuable lesson that you don't take advantage of kindness & you certainly don't make a girl question her own self-worth.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Some do, but give up because they get tired of trying to figure out how to engage with the girl.

Some do, but there's nothing they can do about it because the girl has moved on.

Some don't, for different reasons, some neutral (like they weren't ready to handle a good relationship, regardless of who the girl is) some bad (they're players or toxic, etc.)

Human beings don't change major aspects of their personality... It's why addicts struggle with recovery from their own addictive personality disorders. A person can change *small* habits up to ~10% without an issue, but beyond that it's a serious challenge that not everyone is capable of.

ManOnFire · Answer

I honestly feel like this is being asked from a woman's perspective when they let go of good men and then later regret it, which I think is far more common than men who regret losing a good girl.

Most men try their damndest to hold on to a good girl unless he's some dude who fucks a lot of women or he feels insecure in the relationship, while most women take a good guy for granted when they get one, and will often feel like they "can do better" and try to get someone else. Then they regret losing him, and later they'll still be watching his social media or his stories long after he got into a new relationship or even got married.

icedragoom · Answer

Yes, there is a time time there's this girl I met in high school. Beautiful redhead. She was in the video game with anime. Everything that I liked she was the perfect girl and she was dating a guy at the time. Once we were at an expo her then boyfriend broke up with her. I was doing my best to try and preoccupy her the whole time I didn't want her thinking about the guy and for the longest time I had the biggest crush on her and well it wasn't the right time for me to ask her out. She just been dumped and I wasn't going to do that to her. But lo and behold another guy came right in immediately and I wanted to punch this guy in the face. He was going ahead right in front of me playing with her tits. While she was fucking sad I tried my best to pull her away but nothing was happening. I did everything I could. I was 14. I didn't know what else to do and then I got a call from my dad and said I had to go. God I fucking forget regret that day and since then I haven't gotten a call from her or nothing. It's not a day that goes by that. I don't wish to tell her how I feel. Hell if I saw her I'd probably fall for her all over again but I fucked up. She's a great friend and well sometimes just how the story goes. Bad ending

HawkPerception · Answer

My last 2 exes were good girls, but I'm content that my relationship is over with them because I was a decent guy in the relationship and they were the ones that ended it with me. I'm not gonna waste my time sucking over girls that don't see my value.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Not very often, no. Because if things get to the point of a man walking away from a genuinely good relationship, it's because the relationship wasn't good. And men will generally fight for relationships that they value.

I think regretting leaving is more common for women than it is for men.

FreyaRed · Answer

I don't know if I have ever been good but my first love has regret to lose me. However it's wasn't so glamorous as some people might think. In first few months was silence, then few months long he begged for contact with me, finally came the angry clown phase, he started to tell lies mixed with private details from our relationship to common friends.

genericname85 · Answer

what do you mean "regret"? like a man will feel bad if she left him but "regret" is for things he decided. he can't decide for her to stay if she decides to leave. if he leaves however, it must have gotten so bad that he will not regret.

Anonymous · Answer

People leave for lots of reasons. There are women who dump good men to chase the bad boys. I think many people regret loosing these people later on. But they never deserved them.

While it does hurt don’t worry about them. Find someone genuinely amazing. People like that aren’t worth your time or energy. Just like stupid girls chasing bad men. Aren’t worth mine.

Some people are incredibly stupid and that guy did a good woman a favor by removing himself

patois · Answer

Obviously there is a list of things wrong with her in his mind if he couldn't stand her anymore...

Sonorous · Answer

I try not to regret in life. I'm successful in this thinking with many things in life because of certain philosophical viewpoints I hold.

Nirmroth · Answer

She probably wasn't a good girl to him when he decided to leave her.

Yannae · Answer

If she was actually good, yes. If I am the one who initiated it, she unfortunately was not as good as I hoped. No regret.

boggboss · Answer

For the most part no it just somthing many say to make them self's feel better about the rejection

edmwarrior · Answer

I never regret leaving anyone. I made the choice for a reason. One thing I did regret however were the ones who got away because I didn't make a move.

Anonymous · Answer

I think Cinderella said it best, "Don't know what you got till it's gone".

Jay-_- · Answer

If it's a real man he does and keeps it in mind for the next time, you live you learn then you do better.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I never have because despite all of the women I have had relationships with being great, they ended because we were not long term compatible.

jahaims · Answer

It has nothing to do with gender. It's depends on the individual

In_Trance · Answer

If they're not together anymore it wasn't that great

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but only if she actually WAS a good girl, and didn't just think she was.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Can someone explain to me, the difference between what a relationship is, and what a friendship is

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Abso-fucking-lutely

handsomelad70 · Answer

We should, because they're uncommon women.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Probably not. All they think about is sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if she excelled at giving bj’s.

JonesT10Apr · Answer

seriously yes

Do men actually regret loosing a good girl?

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