In your opinion, what makes women push away actual good men?

[Anonymous]

You can be as descriptive as you want

[Miristheiss]

Good? What does that mean? Good in that he is kind, he is loyal, honest, treats her well? He could just be viewed as boring and not give her the tingles that a bad boy, someone dangerous and unpredictable gives her. He is the one she settles for when she's done with her wild phase.

Maybe she just thinks she can do better. Some modern women have an inflated view of themselves due to online dating. Women, because they are the pursued sex, get tons and tons of DMs and offers via online dating. Even a more average woman has tons of men blowing up her DMs simping and praising her and offering dates or sex. She may be a 5 or a 6 in looks but because she has so much attention and maybe even some 8 or 9 men will sleep with her she'll think that is her league instead of being content with a 6 guy when she is a 6, she'll think she deserves the top guy and 8 or 9 and she'll reject the guy who is her actual match.

The sexual revolution and hook up culture. Sex used to mean babies. Don't have sex until you are married or have a guy that will be a good husband and take care of the baby. Once the pill came along in the late 60's people could have sex and not worry about having a baby and family to deal with. That is why most women didn't get advanced degrees work 40 hour a weeks jobs their entire lives, they stayed home more and they married young and had sex usually within marriage. BECAUSE THEY'D GET PREGNANT. That is how biology designed us. That is the way of life.

Now that you can just start fucking like rabbits and have zero immediate consequences people could be more selfish and just start having sex. Most guys will welcome easy access to sex with girls they really have no intention of making a girlfriend. They'd never marry her but... he'll have sex with her a few times. They'll date "down" to get easy sex but never commit so these women that are dating "UP" think this guy giving her attention and pursuing her and who she gives sex to is her dating level when, in reality, these guys are dating down. A side effect can be that the guys that are really her actual dating level now seem "beneath her" due to the casual sex she's gotten involved with. Because of this she'll reject a good guy because she's hung up on the top guy she "got with" before.

[ManOnFire]

If you mean once they're already in a relationship, the reason is because he has his shit together and is mature as a man and a lover. Most women - but I think it's largely American women - have this thing in their heads where they want men who are still somewhat lower than she is, so that she can feel like your classic 1950s - 1990s sitcom wife who is smarter than the husband and keeps him in line.

And of course because women seem to be addicted to trying to change a man to fit her standards. But as actress Marlene Dietrich once said: "A woman sets out to change a man, and once she has changed him she does not like him."

If you mean they push away good men who are trying to have a relationship with them, it can be for a number of reasons. They think the good guy is not really good and is just looking for sex, meanwhile the guy she clearly sees is bad is the one she will go with or sleep with without hesitation. Also women with low self-esteem or low value - and know it - don't feel worthy of having a decent man. And of course, we circle back to earlier: a lot of women want a man they can fix or control, so if they see that a guy has his shit together and is upright in character, they find him boring and not interesting, or not much of a challenge.

An unpopular truth is that most women really are not mature enough for serious relationships, and they won't be until they finally decide to let go of ridiculous fancies about dating or what they think a partner is supposed to be.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I enjoy watching the late Kevin Samuels on YouTube and he talked about this with one of the women on his show. It basically boiled down to boredom. A good man is a man of the home. He’s not out partying and getting drunk, he’s working hard to provide for his family. Many modern women think that’s boring. And many of these women think they are “all that and a bag of chips” and can do better than these men.

[ChiTown33]

There's a lot of truth in that. We're all attracted what we're attracted to. Even when it's not good for us. And sometimes the best partners for us are the people we never even see. So men do this to.

[Dvious1]

@ChiTown33
only if they are LGBTQIs

[Account]

What is your definition of an actual good man? I am asking because all the women I am close to that are in a relationship, they are with good men.

[AviatorTom]

Sometimes, we men don't make the right first impression, especially if the woman is looking for Mr Perfect, and no man fits that bill. Like many things, it takes a while for a woman to determine if the man is good, and some women don't have the patience for that.

[DishLady]

1. She's not ready for a relationship (or isn't relationship material).

2. The guy is wonderful, but not ready for a relationship.

3. Extenuating circumstances that can't be avoided (big move, family, etc.).

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think it’s a mix of different things but the reasons are mostly different flavors of a lack of understanding what a man is and isn’t. That and other things lead to women generally being terrible judges of character.

I’ve seen woman call the most gentlemanly, selfless and respectable people creeps and I’ve seen woman date guys who had reputations for beating women and ending up in questionable situations at parties.

The guys who treat women the worst tend to be very good at courting them. I notice a lot of these guys use strategies that leverage insecurities and the really dangerous guys know how to keep the woman on the defense constantly in the relationship so that it’s almost like this debt which can never be repaid.

im sure there’s a million other things all different types of guys do but these are ones I’ve seen multiple times that stuck out to me.

The last major factor I see is a lot of women seem to simply not believe a guy can be respectful and generous and non aggressive without being a total simp. Meaning if he’s got too many good qualities without having enough maybe the close enough phrase would be “toxic masculinity” then he won’t fit the image she has in her head and will be sussed out.

this is an explanation that multiple woman have made to me about why they made choices that did not turn out well for them and they were both attractive, constantly flirted with and attracted to dudes who I would mostly describe as emotionally immature, low self control, excellent personal presentation and aggressive.

Both of these chicks had similar personal issues to the guys they dated so maybe the real lesson is that shared trauma isn’t always as great of a thing to bond over as it seems.

[Anonymous]

Most of these women have lacked good positive role models in thier formative years. So when they seek out men they have no idea what a good man looks like. So what do they do then? They fall back on thier biology. They seek what thier biology suggests would be a good mate. A strong man, a healthy looking man, a man that (at least on the surface) appears confident. But to a woman that doesn't know any better a loser that is nothing but confident looks appears confident. What is really detrimental to these women is not only do they f*** up the selection process, but rather then owning thier mistake and admitting to themselves where they went wrong. They do the opposite. They double down on it. They steer into the skid. Not all of this is thier fault. Again it's biology. Women that are not completely morally bankrupt have the drive to bond to a partner for the purposes of birthing and raising offspring. So this actually works against a woman when she chooses a bad partner. Because she doesn't want own her mistake and walk away.

[ProbablyClueless]

Boredom is definitely a factor. I think a lot of women also have a problem with a lack of self-worth. Particularly if she's someone who has never had good relationships with men in life, it's really jarring to meet a genuinely good man because it throws a lot of the women's behaviors into question.

If you're used to dealing with garbage people and then you finally meet someone who isn't garbage, you sort of have to come to terms with the fact that you might be contributing to the toxicity at a certain level because you see that your interactions don't have to suck.

[Zenpanda]

A combination of bad men whom pretend to be good men.
Bad experiences with men in general.
Negative stereotypes related to men of a softer more kind demeanor.
And of course social media, where toxic masculinity is almost praised and other men are painted as weak and not real men.
Last but not least, there are many men whom see themselves as good men, but aren't.

[Phoenix98]

Bad experiences with previous guys/partners it's one of those situations where they have a few bad experiences either because of their own poor judgment or just bad luck. And they go towards the mindset of all guys are like that.

And it can also be something as simple as a poor first impression for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

1) he has ugly looks. no amount of great personality makes up for ugly looks. if she don't find you attractive, nothing else matters

2) being too "boring" (which is subjective by the way) being "toxic" is surprisingly better lol

3) being a simp who panders to her because he's afraid of upsetting her rather than be brutally honest and tell the truth

[Kaneki05]

Bpd mostly. And other Trauma.
But also just simply attraction. Girls can think with their dick too despite ya know not having one but ya know what I mean.

[Apple1996]

There are very few acutal good men out there. If he's one of the rare good men then she's pushing him away cuz he isn't good for her

[animalwithin]

They're boring. Bad men in their past excited them and then they get with a good man who isn't as exciting so they leave

[ChicoFromThe305]

Distractions, many distractions and we find the best distractions for ourselves that only prevents us from seeing the truth, it's a full on issue for most people not just women

[handsomelad70]

Some women think good men boring, even "soy boy-like," so they'll spurn them in favour of the going-nowhere but exciting bad boy, which explains so many babes on the back of fat, greasy slobs' motorcycles.

[LazerBean]

Bad women don't generally want good men, just like bad men don't generally want good women.

[Anonymous]

It rarely happens. This is just a myth created by bitter men that had failed relationships. Instead of working on themselves.

They dig up excuses.

[exitseven]

They want a lavish, exciting life like they see on TV. There are not too many young, handsome millionaires around.

[Juxtapose]

The double standards are a big one. If I am doing all these things, big & small to romance you and getting nothing in return because you think just showing up is good enough? I'm done.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Main cause she isn't a good woman.

Good women like good men because their values and character tend to match.

[dolemite58]

Lack of drama, most women need chaos in their lives or they get bored.

[dustybiker2]

Bad past experience. Assumptions.

[LiamJHayden]

They find them boring.

[noohair]

They don't define good the same way you do.

[jahaims]

Unresolved trauma