If I had/have sex with a guy who I know has a girlfriend, does that make me a bad person?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

Was he coming onto you? Was he pursuing you? If so , then No you aren’t a bad person , you are just human , and you were attracted to a guy that turned you on. He is the bad one , for cheating on his girlfriend in the first place , you might be considered bad by his girlfriend , if she finds out he fucked you. But the truth is , He clearly isn’t satisfied in his relationship with his girlfriend , so that’s his problem , not yours , just tell him to not make it your problem , tell him if he wants to continue seeing you , he needs to end his relationship with her , if not? You are best to not sleep with him anymore because then it could turn into your problem. I have slept with girls’ that I knew had a boyfriend or husband , that pretty much threw themselves at me , that told me she wasn’t happy in her relationship that her partner treats her like shit blah blah blah , I am honest with her and tell her to not make it my problem , and that this is just sex and that she is coming on to me and make it clear to her what she is doing is wrong and to not drag my ass into her problems with her partner. Me personally prefers a girl that is honest with me , over a girl that lies. So if I am attracted to her and she is coming on to me or throwing herself at me? I am more than likely going to fuck her because her relationship is her problem not mine. So if she wants to cheat on her husband or boyfriend with me? That’s something she has to deal with. I use to think this sort of stuff was wrong to do until I realized I am not doing anything wrong , I am a male and I love sex , so if a beautiful attractive girl is coming on to me and wants to fuck me , I’m going to fuck her and explain to her that this is just sex. One of my favorite quotes from Jonny Depp is is , if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

[Purpleronnie]

“ bad person “ no I don’t think so , it’s a very selfish and careless act to sleep with a guy or girl knowing the have a partner -: your essentially enabling a behavior that’s damaging , that you would not want for your relationship , for your own selfish ends.
I would go as far as to say that there is some argument for people believing that the guy in this situation should take the biggest hit but for me it’s the “ knowing” and still going through with it when you clearly have a choice is vile behavior and there isn’t an acceptable excuse.


We all make mistakes though , 1 mistake doesn’t color you completely negatively or make you a “bad” person. Should you find yourself in the same situation or similar in the future Though , hopefully you would take the high road and be the better person.

[Damaged00]

If you had sex with him already then yes your decision was a very bad one and most would not respect you for what you knowingly did. But by asking this question then maybe you are feeling guilty or have remorse which means there is hope that you are not entirely a bad person. You're human and it's understandable to make mistakes in the heat of the moment.

But on the other hand if you are asking this because you are thinking about doing this then I feel as if you are a bad person. This means you already know it's bad and you're trying to get reassurances before you do it. It's premeditated. It's not as understanding if you had done it in the heat of the moment where you let your emotions take control of you.

But either way, it is not a good thing. And how would you feel if you were this guys girlfriend? And don't even get me started on him, he's worse.

[JustTryingToLife]

I mean I guess it depends on the situation. There are levels to you being bad person. Do they have kids? Is the girlfriend dying? Is the girlfriend planing their life together blissfully unaware that you're f**king her boyfriend?

I mean at least it's incredibly selfish, hurtful and cruel. Out of all the men to choose from you had to pick one that's not yours. I mean the boyfriend isn't innocent either. You're both as bad as each other but I mean it makes you a bad person in the moment and every time you do it. Especially, coz you know it's wrong and even more so if you can't see that it's wrong.

There are plenty of men out there I'm sure you can find one of your own.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you had a boyfriend who was supposed to be exclusive with you, and another girl knew about you but still chased after him and got him in bed with her, what would you think about that girl?

Do you have any right to expect other people to treat you with more respect than you give them?

[DishLady]

If you know he’s taken you’re basically enabling his misconduct… it doesn’t make you a great person… but you can redirect this by not sleeping with him anymore.

[ManOnFire]

Yes. Because you knowingly disrespect her, and yourself, and you don't care. You already know better than that.

[idonotlikeyou]

@ManOnFire
I will allow myself to disagree. A man who cheated on his wife with a whore (one who demands payment or gives it away for free) disrespected his wife. Meanwhile, that whore who sleeps around mainly disrespects herself and, unfortunately, women as a group.

[ManOnFire]

@idonotlikeyou That sounds like a cheesy way of excusing a mistress. She's just as bad if not worse than the guy. She knows well that he already has a woman and has no care about her. In fact many mistresses even hope or believe that the guy will leave his woman for her. Even if he has the intent to cheat, the 'other woman' DOESN'T have to agree to it, but many do. So they are worse.

[ShellyB]

It may not make you a bad person bc people are complicated and a mix of good and bad things always, but, it is not a good thing to do and I would not keep doing it. JMO!

[Account]

I cannot judge a person from a single act, also in my he is the one who betrayed his relationship in my opinion, just remember that in life what goes around comes around.

[Account]

Also he is the one*

[XHopelessRomanticX]

If you have to ask, the answer is yes.

[AmeeliahLeh]

Yes, you're a horrible person, people go through shit after being cheated on and you're just gonna do it anyway cause you're "attracted" to him? Honestly what is wrong with you? And I'm just being honest. THERE'S PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA FIND SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WITH SOMEONE. Like please acknowledge the gravity of this situation, you're gonna possibly mentally kill someone because what you feel like. It's likely that you're feeling lust, LUST IS NOT LOVE, get it in your thick immoral skull. And based on your other comment you clearly give 0 fucks about anyone else's feelings, like damn. It's clear that you never experienced what it feels like to get cheated on. It's nothing a game, nor is it funny or people are just hating, you're Cleary being heartless cause your own desires. Get. Some. Help.

[idonotlikeyou]

Of course, that makes you a "bad" person. Do you have any doubts? If the person you're interested in has a partner, you turn around and walk away. You need to have a conscience, strong will, and proper morality to live with your head held high. But you took the path of least resistance and let yourself be used by a taken man. Where is your self-respect?

[JamesRandiDebates]

All women try to steal guys away from other women. It's how you bitches are wired.

[idonotlikeyou]

@JamesRandiDebates I wouldn't exaggerate with that generalization. Yes, there are such promiscuous women, but they do not define women as a group. And it's not them who steal; it's the man who allows himself to be stolen. The same goes the other way around. It's not a stranger who seduces your wife; it's she who allows him to.

[bobby_bush_eater]

A bad person? Not necessarily.

It immediately tells me you lack self control, discipline, integrity, or value a high personal morality (the fact that you question your behavior displays some) and it likely tells me you're selfish but I don't think those flaws inherently make someone "bad".

The main burden naturally lies with the man as all of the above and far worse are true for him.

That said, you and only you are in control and responsible for your behaviors. All accountability for your actions is wholly your own and perhaps reflection is necessary.

[bobalife]

Most are going to say yes, but I’d say it depends on the context. But I will say, if you knew he was taken and you know what you were doing & gave zero fucks, then I do think you were selfish and played a part of this bad act. It is mostly upon him since he’s the boyfriend following unfaithful actions and consequences knowing it would hurt his partner, but participating in the affair isn’t any better.

[Bricealan]

I don't see why? My best friends girlfriend spent a week in HIS apartment while he was vacationing in Canada. She invited me up to the apartment, and asked "Why have you never made a pass at me"? I should have followed up and made the pass, but had second thoughts she would eventually tell my friend/her fiance' about the sex

(P. S. I would have loved to screwed her)

[Peridot25]

What’s with friends and betrayal when it comes to their partners? I’ll never understand this. I mean, why is that even a thing?

[Peridot25]

And why is he your best friend if you were planning to hurt him?

[Asker]

I mean you’re not bad person but you sure as hell are wild 😭

[Serkee]

You're a terrible friend if the only reason you didn't betray him is because he would find out.

[Bricealan]

@Peridot25 The truth of the matter is, that we were 'friends' in name-only... He was a sneaking asshole that would have screwed my girlfriend if he got the chance, and often did ! He and I grew up together, and did a multitude of things together, flew, skydived, water ski, etc etc. We had that commonality, but as far as girls and girlfriends, all bets were off as he was a real prick when it came to trying to get in someone else's girlfriend's pants.

[Bricealan]

I explained what my relationship was with my BFF to @Peridot25, as he would have done the same to me in a heartbeat, and as far as I could find out, he DID fuck a girlfriend I had at one point, because she seemed to know how well hung he was, and she told me he was hung!

[PeachyPie93]

Of course it does. Any person who sleeps with a taken person and knows about it is a shitty person. Just remember what comes around goes around.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/B7FaMogbcUw

[just_a_potato]

Bad moral compass? Probably. A bad person though? Not really.

I answered a question similar to this one the other day. You are only responsible for your own actions, no one else's. so technically you aren't the bad person in this situation. Just maybe too horny. 😂

[D_Bone_Steak]

If it wasn't you, it would've been someone else. I'm guessing you already don't have much respect for her, and that you wanted to have sex with him.

You don't owe her shit... it's her man that cheating on her and betraying her, you're just getting some dick that you want.

And if it wasn't you, he would of just done it with some other woman. Not your problem.

[itsannalee]

I can’t judge anyone.


But u are not in place to take responsibility about others feeling. The one who should be blame is the Boyfriend. If he is good person, i won’t sleep with u.
But if u respect your body, you shouldn’t let anyone for only using yo to satisfy their lust.

[Skinhead-1979]

It could be considered a bit a-moral that you go after guy who is in a relationship with another... but on the other hand you cannot help it if you have developed any deeper feelings for him, and something sexual does happen.

Besides that, "It takes 2 to tango".

He is more in the wrong than you; he is in a relationship and he cheats on his partner. If he so desperately desire another female, he should have left his current partner first.

[Peridot25]

I’m going to say, “You are a bad person,” but you’re not going to care. You’ve already decided you’re a heartless person who doesn’t care about others feelings.
I’m going to say, “Find your own man and leave those who are taken alone.” But, you prefer those who are taken.
I’m going to ask, “How would you feel if your partner cheated on you?” But, you won’t answer.

[Peridot25]

And it’s not just you but he’s a bad person too for cheating.

[JamesRandiDebates]

If you had the attributes, you would do your best to steal a guy from another woman just to prove you could.

[Peridot25]

Ok, question. What is with people and stealing someone’s partner? Like, what even is that? And why is that a thing? Do humans truly have no morals?

[Peridot25]

And why would I do that to someone? I wouldn’t like it if someone try to do that to me. In fact, I would be thirsty for their blood if I was in that situation.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep it makes you selfish and messed up because you participated in hurting another person knowingly, I wouldn't be surprised if you marked your future relationship and set it for failure with your decision, that natural justice is crazy, and if he doesn't end up cheating and ruining the relationship, your paranoia might.

[Stevepro68]

Thier relationship is not your responsibility. Just don't be fooled it's not a sign that he is someone you can trust in any way. Not a sign he would be happier with you. Not a sign that he will eventually leave her for you.

[electromagnetic]

In my mind, any woman who sleeps with a man knowing well he’s in a relationship, is just as guilty as he is. It doesn’t even matter who pursued whom at that point.

[Serkee]

Just because you're not the one betraying her doesn't mean it's okay to help him betray her. Yes, knowingly being a homewrecker makes you a bad person.

[HawkPerception]

Yes. There's a term for it. Homewrecker. The guy is worse though, because he's the one in a relationship and still going behind his partner's back.

But both of you are trash if you do that.

[thegreenyogi]

Honestly in my personal opinion you are not the bad person. The guy you slept with is the one that has cheated and he shouldn't have let it happen if he didn't want it to happen.

[dustybiker2]

How would you feel when you catch him with a third person next weekend?

[Asker]

I wouldn’t catch him because why would I care to try to? I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. He’s not my man, a good guy with potential who cheats but definitely not my man lol.

[dustybiker2]

You laugh but you enabled him.

[Asker]

He enabled himself when he chose to step outside the girl he already has. Lust, options, opportunity etc may have enabled him but I certainly didn’t.

[dustybiker2]

You feel guilty enough asking this. The enjoyment is a front.

[Asker]

I didn’t feel guilty, I haven’t done anything yet to feel guilty. It’s just was a wonder and I finally decided it doesn’t make me a bad person. I’m living for me.

[snowboarder720]

Put yourself in his girlfriend’s shoes. How do you suppose that would make any girlfriend feel? This isn’t rocket science.

[RyanR03]

It means watch out becaus often what goes around comes around and plus for the most part… you can’t operate dishonestly and get away with it forever. Things have a way of coming back at us. Be careful. And I would choose another.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person

[snowboarder720]

lol! Because that makes too much sense

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@snowboarder720 is a country bad if one person gets murdered? Is a TV show bad because of one shitty episode? Are toyota unreliable because someone got one that had a defect?

Use your head friend

[snowboarder720]

A country or a TV show is completely different. This is a person. 😂 have a good day 👋🏻

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@snowboarder720 sure

[PeachyPie93]

People don't know how to take accountability these days lol

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@PeachyPie93 they say not being able to understand anologies is a sign of sub 80 iq or something

[snowboarder720]

That has nothing to do with what Peachy said 😆

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@snowboarder720 I rest my case

[snowboarder720]

I understand analogies, what you are using make no sense at all and has nothing to do with the topic being discussed. You’re making zero sense.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@snowboarder720 where are you getting lost? Just because someone does something bad it doesn't mean they're a bad person. Otherwise everyone would be a bad person

[Telekinetic-Potato]

One individual part of something doesn't define that thing as a whole

[snowboarder720]

That how taking accountability works. By taking a degree of accountability you’re proving that you’re really not a bad person. It’s owning up to your mistakes and what you’ve done wrong.

BUT if you’re just going to say I’m not a bad person because I’ve done something bad along with everyone else in the world just shows that you aren’t going to take any bit of accountability because it’ll just be washed away by everyone’s wrong doings. That’s not how a good person works and makes NO SENSE.

I can tell that you aren’t married. Lol!

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@snowboarder720 the person asking the question is already taking steps towards accountability. She knows she did something wrong. She's not the first, won't be the last hopefully it will be the last time or else she would risk becoming a bad person.

It's not about anything being washed away it's about acknowledging that making mistakes and succumbing to one's own lack of discipline is a part of being human we all go through.

Like what do you want her to do? Pay reperations?

[JamesRandiDebates]

No, it makes you a good side-chick. As long as you keep quiet.

[Asker]

I could do that. I mean he pursued me. We connected and later on I found out he had a girlfriend but it’s still so much sexual tension that I just can’t easily walk away from. Maybe if I had known earlier on, I wouldn’t have even considered it. I mean, they aren’t married.

[Asker]

But I know asking for advice on here can and will make me feel like I’m the worse woman to ever step foot on earth just because I want someone else’s man. I’m gonna hear I have low self esteem and no morals when realistically I just became really attracted to a guy who happened to have a girlfriend. That’s it lol.

[Peridot25]

@JamesRandiDebates I’m guessing you’re a cheater

[JamesRandiDebates]

Like you said, they're not married. Perfectly acceptable for you to steal him away if you can. Or just keep it NSA until you find someone better.

[Peridot25]

I really have lost faith in humanity

[Peridot25]

With her record of taking taken men, no one would want her.

[JamesRandiDebates]

@Peridot25 I don't know anything about her or her record in "taking taken men." And since the original question was posted anonymously, I don't know how you could either.

[Peridot25]

@JamesRandiDebates Going after someone taken despite not being married says WAY more about someone. And you’re not helping by encouraging this behavior. That says more about you as well.

[Peridot25]

I swear, humanity has truly gone downhill. No wonder why people prefer being single.

[spartan55]

@asker
Wow, listen to the rationalizing and justifying. So gross.
I'm sure you would feel exactly the same if you had a boyfriend and he did this to you, right? I guess it was just too much work to find out if he had a girlfriend first. You'll get it back one day, your moral code all but guarantees it.

[Asker]

@spartan55 I mean I’ve had it done to me before and guess what? it hurt in the moment. but I survived and realized no one belongs to me. Am I saying that’s why I’m doing it because it was done to me? No but I am saying it happens and his girlfriend wasn’t gonna be excluded. Everyone is an experience and that experience could be good and last a lifetime and turn into something great or it could just be for a small moment of fun. To teach you something and move on. Like I said, he approached me. Things got deeper than expected. He didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend and even when I asked he denied it until I found out the truth but it’s like I still want to mess around despite now knowing. It is what it is. My moral code isn’t determined by me sleeping with another woman’s boyfriend. Now if I knew this woman, she was a close friend or a sister then it would be safe to say something about my morals. I didn’t intentionally approach a man with a girlfriend. I wasn’t intentionally trying to take someone else’s man. This is my first time even considering messing around with a man who has a girl. It’s not apart of my personality. I just happened to grow attraction toward a man who had a girlfriend all along and didn’t tell me and if it happens then I just had sex with her man and that’s that. I’m not gonna shout it to the world or to her. Everyone wants to be seen as a good person. With no vice and does no wrong but rather it’s sleeping with a taken man or woman or being addicted to drugs or alcohol, you ain’t no better than me. I’m just honest about it.

[Asker]

@spartan55 because if I decided to do the “right” thing another woman will come along and do the “wrong” thing and have sex with him because if I didn’t/don’t go for it he’s gonna keep searching until one woman does go for it. Point being, rather it’s me or someone else, he was gonna have sex with another woman and she was gonna get cheated on. I’m not justifying anything because I haven’t done it but it’s all facts.

[spartan55]

'not going to mess around with a man who has a girl'... that's exactly what you did! You keep going back to the fact that he approached you blah blah blah. That is completely irrelevant. It is very easy to figure out if someone is in a relationship or not. You asked him, great. But you really didn't want to know, or you didn't care.
You are really going to say that knowingly fucking a guy in a relationship doesn't determine your moral code? Wtf you are seriously whack. Just do the public a favor and don't destroy any relationships or families because clearly you dgaf.

[spartan55]

You haven't done it? What are you talking about?

[Asker]

@spartan55 I never said I wasn’t gonna do it. I’m considering it and it might just happen and yes I’m saying knowingly sleeping with a guy who has a girl doesn’t determine my moral code but it does determine that I’m living for me. Not you, him or her. You’re talking about destroying relationships or families when in reality, it becomes destroyed the moment one person thinks about stepping out. The act itself is just the physical manifestation of that. Physical abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, narcissism etc have destroyed homes, relationships and families far worse than cheating ever has. You’re hurt for a while when a partner cheats but you come back from it much easier and faster compared to other things because it’s minuscule once you sit back and consider everything. Now if he was married, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Why the fuck does it matter if he’s married or not?

[Asker]

@spartan55 and I keep going back to the fact he approached me because it’s a big part of this story and how it’s plays out and it’s far from irrelevant. A taken man pursuing, heavily, another woman, is the only reason why any of this is even happening. He could have just been faithful and left me alone right? Right but he wasn’t/didn’t. So as I said, that part is far from irrelevant but you can continue to stand on that so called “righteous” ground of yours.

[Asker]

It’s not my job to care if he has a girl, that’s his job.

[Peridot25]

And why are you doing this?

[Peridot25]

BUT YOU SHOULDVE FUCKING WALKED AWAY AS SOON AS YOU FUCKING FOUND OUT!!

[Peridot25]

You’re exactly like the guy who cheated on you.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 did you get cheated on or something?

[Asker]

@Peridot25 because I can?

[Peridot25]

@Asker Thankfully, no.
Well, I guess your ex had the same thought as you did. You’re just as bad as him.

[Peridot25]

And if I was ever cheated on, my man won’t be alive. And neither will the other woman.

[Peridot25]

So I suggest you watch your back.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 because a girlfriend and boyfriend can easily turn into an ex with no exceptions, unless kids are involved and in that case if he and his girl had or have a kid (s) I would not consider it then either but they don’t. Nothing is keeping them connected other than I guess you can say time invested and love. Marriage on the other hand, vows were made, papers have been signed to the point you’re investing and putting your all into this person and promising to keep it that way for a lifetime. That’s the difference.

[Peridot25]

Married or not, if I ever found out my man was cheating on me, he better be ready to meet Satan. I take relationships seriously.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 trust me, I know how to play it safe. Most people talk a good game but they are not willing to risk it all when it comes to finding out about infidelity but of course there’s always an exception to the rule and that’s why I’ll still play it safe.

[Peridot25]

So I’m guessing you didn’t mind your ex cheating on you.

[Peridot25]

Well, good to know you’re a piece of shit like your ex. And I hope that poor finds a better man while you and her soon to be ex will live miserable STD filled lives.

[Peridot25]

*poor girl

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Not really. I’m not cheating on anyone. I just know no one will spare me no matter how righteously people talk. A opportunity presents itself and you want some self pleasure, any woman or man will do it or consider it. All that “You should just walk away” “ It’s not right.” Etc etc goes out the door. It just takes the right moment in time of your life and the right guy or right women at that time.

[Peridot25]

I’m curious, how was your parents’ marriage?

[Asker]

@Peridot25 yea because condoms and STD testing stop existing when you decide to mess with another woman’s man 😭

[Asker]

@Peridot25 My parents have been married 20 years. Can’t say it’s been perfect because they kept their marital problems away from my sister and I as they should have but I’m sure cheating is something they possibly battled rather physically or emotionally.

[Peridot25]

You may not think so now, but Karma will get the both of you. You may not get STDs but condoms do break.
I’ll be waiting for the update when things go south for you. So enjoy this moment while you can.

[Peridot25]

@Asker That explains a lot about you. I hope your sister took the right path.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 and oh and little “miss perfect” wants two people you don’t even know to be miserable because they went against the grain. Lmaoo seems like your imperfections are showing no? That mountain you were just screaming on the top of is lowering you down. See how that works? You’re not any better than me.

[Peridot25]

Nowhere did I say I was perfect. But, I was just giving a friendly warning because this kind of thing won’t end well.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I’m on birth control. I may be bring risky but I’m not dumb.

[Peridot25]

You may think you’re winning because you stole another woman’s man. But the one who is truly winning is the girlfriend.
One day she’ll find out about you two and find someone better. And where you two will be, who knows? 🤷‍♀️
Maybe you’ll get pregnant one day and be left as a single mother while she finds a man who’s loyal to her and they have a beautiful family.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Maybe, but you’re not the winner here. The girlfriend is.
Maybe in the future she’ll thank you for seeing her worth.

[Peridot25]

As for her soon to be ex, he’ll fuck as many women after he’s done with you. And she’ll still be the winner at the end.

[Peridot25]

Anyway, whatever you decide, I hope you can keep us updated 😁

[spartan55]

@asker
So let me see if I understand your mindset. This is all okay with you because:
He pursued you. (nevermind you could walk away but we will just ignore that) This is the point is so hollow but it follows cheater rationale perfectly (not my fault, HE is the one stepping out, I have the moral high ground)
If it wasn't you it would be someone else... so stupid
I could go on but this is getting boring.
Bottom line: cheating is so normalized to you that you don't even see it as a moral shortcoming (which it is) It's pretty scary that people like you walk among us. I know there are plenty more just like you too... maybe you should all go live on some island together.

[Peridot25]

@spartan55 Honestly, I think it’s her upbringing. Her parents cheated on each other and she learned that from them.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I’m already a single mother. My child’s father was physically abusive, he doesn’t contribute and pretends to care about our son just to still be connected to me. My life is far from perfect, I’ve made my fair share of terrible decisions so trust me when I say this is nothing. I’m just living. Also, my life isn’t horrible. I have a family, that helps me. My son is active, happy, smart and developing wonderfully. I work, I save my money, I stay out of drama, I’m a believer in Christ but I understand that doesn’t make me perfect and doesn’t require perfection. It’s crazy to know you think you know how MY karma will play out. Also, my sister is a college graduate, has a bachelors in psychology. She will give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She’s fun, funny, chill, good heart and she’ll still sleep and take YOUR man if the opportunity presented itself so what were you saying again?

[Asker]

@spartan55 Cheating isn’t normalized, cheating is literally just what it is, cheating. I don’t see it as moral shortcoming because it has no relation to morals but it does have relations to living for you and not others and their morals which is what you seem to be trying to push on me. Helping someone cheat or cheating may be against your morals but they aren’t against mines. You’re not me and I’m not you. That point isn’t hollow. It actually plays very deep into the outcome. It’s scary to think people “Like me”. Little on me, walks amongst you. “Oh my God. There goes the woman who slept with a man who has a girlfriend.” while a man who just shot up a school runs past you. Lmaoo make it make sense.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Should I be scared or something? 🤔

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Thinking I’m trying compete with this woman and win is where you’re going wrong. I hope she very well does end up seeing her worth and finding a man who won’t cheat with a co worker or any woman but until then, Imma live my single life, take care of my son, myself, my health and even after she finds her self worth I’ll still be doing me or who knows, maybe I’ll run into the right guy and no longer be single.

[Peridot25]

And your poor son. That baby will turn out to be like his father or his mother.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 and again, they kept us out of it so if anyone cheated we never knew so keep trying to figure it out.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Sorry to put it this way, but no man will want you after finding out what your history is.

[Peridot25]

Not saying they won’t sympathize you for being abused but they won’t want a woman who takes advantage of her singledom to be a whore.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Yea. That’s why “perfect” women and “perfect” men with the “Perfect” history and track record, who follow the rules, stay faithful, no kids, no abusive past etc is still getting played, cheated on lied to or walking around single just like me or they end up single so again, what are you saying?

[Peridot25]

Especially, when they realize this is what you’re teaching your son.

[spartan55]

@asker Lady, I'm not pushing anything on you, I'm just kind of standing back and listening to you try to make your mindset sound so normal. 'Anyone would take it if it were there' or whatever you said. I'm paraphrasing. Uh, no most people wouldn't help some shitbag who lies to them cheat. The fact that you think it's okay and it's just life blah blah is just you obfuscating the whole issue. Which is what people like you do. You've thrown so much irrelevant shit into this it's pretty impressive actually. I will say you articulate your position better than most. But you are the same.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 A stranger on this site that I know nothing about beyond their comments and what’s they choose to expose themselves can’t tell me anything about me or my future.

[Peridot25]

My best friend got cheated on and was horribly mistreated by her past exes. But, you know what? She never did what you did. Was she hurt and didn’t believe in love? Absolutely!
Now she has a man who loves her and they have a beautiful baby boy together. And she’s living a better life than people like you.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Yea my ”Poor”, happy, fed, active, nourished, love able son will turn out “horrible.” Girllll. 😭

[Peridot25]

Honestly, I hope you never find anyone. And I hope your son will be smart and never cheat or do what you’re doing.

[Peridot25]

Just because you were abused doesn’t mean you have to go down this road. Many people were abused but never did what you did.

[Peridot25]

But, why are you? What’s your true reason? Are you seriously that hurt you think helping someone cheat will make you feel better?

[Peridot25]

You say you don’t care about this girl but you said you do hope she finds someone better. So…. what’s your deal here?

[Asker]

@spartan55 I’m not trying to make my mindset normal because regardless of my perspective people are gonna see it their own way. This is what “People like me.” do? People like who? A single woman who has a mind of her own and does her own thing and doesn’t let other imperfect people determine any decision I make? You want to take me as this delusional woman justifying sleeping with a another woman’s man when really I’m just a woman who doesn’t see anything wrong with it and because I don’t see anything wrong with I’m the villain. Everyone else threw a rock at that one person, how dare you not do the same? 😭That’s how it goes.

[Asker]

@spartan55 spartan55 I’m not trying to make my mindset normal because regardless of my perspective people are gonna see it their own way. This is what “People like me.” do? People like who? A single woman who has a mind of her own and does her own thing and doesn’t let other imperfect people determine any decision I make? You want to take me as this delusional woman justifying sleeping with a another woman’s man when really I’m just a woman who doesn’t see anything wrong with it and because I don’t see anything wrong with I’m the villain. Everyone else threw a rock at that one person, how dare you not do the same? 😭That’s how it goes.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I mean good for her? You really think she’s living a better life and with a better man because she didn’t choose to sleep with a taken man? You’re crazier than I thought 😭

[Asker]

@spartan55 and everything I said was very relevant to the situation at hand. You can go over all my comments and they all connect back to the original issue.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Seriously, what is wrong with you? I legit want to know. I get you were abused but you’re obviously not ok mentally.

[Peridot25]

Sure, you’re single but you can find a SINGLE man that can treat you so much better. And one who will love your son as his own. Not some piece of shit cheater who doesn’t love you or his own girlfriend.

[Peridot25]

You can do so much better than that loser and your loser ex.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 because I’m not out to kill this woman. I’m not trying to run her over with my car 😭 I’m just attracted to her man and I want him and he wants me. That’s it. It ain’t personal. This wasn’t a sought out mission. Not once did I say I didn’t or did care about her I said I don’t owe her or him anything and I don’t. My deal, is I’m having fun and I absolutely do hope she finds someone who won’t cheat. This has nothing to do with past hurt. I hasn’t been with my ex in over year. I did the inner healing/work. I didn’t date, I wasn’t having sex. I got focused and now I’m a single woman with needs but I wasn’t gonna go for just anyone. I turned down many men. Some probably were single some probably weren’t A man who was very attractive approached me, we hit it off, turns out he had a girl but the sexual tension is still there and it might end up getting released. It may not be the ideal story but a story nonetheless.

[Peridot25]

Think about your son and what kind of example you’re setting up here. He looks up to you. One day he’ll be old enough to date and wants to get married. What would you do if he got cheated on or he slept with another man’s woman? What would you do?

[Peridot25]

I guess you’re attracted to losers who cheat. And that’s all who you’ll ever attract.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I’m not looking for a relationship and I wouldn’t dare let any man around my son. They may know I have a son, but that’s it. I’m focused on raising my son to be upright, strong and smart. I’m not worried about him cheating on being cheated on. He’s 1 and half and it’s just the least of my worries. It’s much more serious things to prepare him for in this world that goes beyond sex, romance and relationships.

[Peridot25]

You do whatever you want. I just hope your son doesn’t end up like his loser mother.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I’m not okay but you are? You have had thirteen different emotions snd reactions toward me in the past hour. You went from I’m shity, I’ll never find love, he and I deserve each other and deserve to catch STD’s etc etc now all of a sudden you’re a therapist telling me what I do and don’t deserve? 😭 that’s why I love this site. It’s literally unserious

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Noted. Miss “Periodt25” 😭this was the best talk I ever had actually Lmaoo

[Peridot25]

To be fair, you brought this upon yourself. You knew you were going to get little to no support.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I brought this upon myself? Or I just asked a question, got answers that mostly said it’s a terrible thing to do and it makes me a terrible person but then again many people also think abortions are horrible and they’re banned in most states and women are forced to keep a child and are then told “You should have kept your legs closed.” “Stop being a whore.” “Sex is for marriage.” And those same people have their shit too but they have money so it’s okay. My point being everybody or most people agreeing with you and being on your side isn’t always a good thing. Hitler had people on his side too.

[Peridot25]

I truly don’t care anymore.

[Peridot25]

And of course you’re going to use the whole abortion and Hitler shabang. That’s typical 🙄

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Nah. My ex was single as can be. Gave me the title of “Girlfriend.” and took me on a rollercoaster ride that became difficult for me to end. Cheating, abuse, manipulation you name it. So am I attracted to losers? No. I’m sure if a man presented himself as a “Loser” as you say off back me or any woman wouldn’t go for it. am I attracted to men who are great at hiding their shit? Absolutely.

[Peridot25]

But, just so you know I’ll never side with you nor will I ever be like you.

[Peridot25]

Whatever

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I hope not and I promise you I don’t wanna be like you either 😭

[Peridot25]

It’s obvious you don’t care either. You’ve chosen your path and you’re going to stick with it.
I lost all faith in humanity.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Yes of course I’m gonna bring up the obvious to make a point. That’s just so dumb and unrealistic of me 😭

[Peridot25]

Was I suppose to support you or something?

[Peridot25]

Was I suppose to say, “Yeah you go girl!”? Like…. I’m confused on what you wanted me to say.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 I don't know were you? Because I swear you made it clear you don’t support me, you don’t agree, you won’t ever be like me and you don’t care and you’re still replying 😭 I get it though. This site can get you going.

[Peridot25]

Whatever you want me to say I’ll say it if that will make you happy.

[Peridot25]

I’m just asking if you were looking for support. What did you expect me to say?

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Lmaoo I really feel like you’re great person, you might be a bit of a troll but so am I 😭and you have things you are for and things you are against and so do I. It just turns out with this specific matter we see things differently and as you can see it’s never gonna be a “You’re wrong and I’m right.” Conclusion. It’s a situation/topic that exist that brings in different opinions, thoughts and emotions but you seem like a passionate and good person. With that being said. I had no expectations of what people would comment but I knew most would be against it and that’s fine. My perspective of it still won’t change. The only conclusion I have is unless you did something so horrible like kill, rape, hold hostage, choosing to sleep or mess around with someone whose taken may not be ideal but you’re not a bad person either. Neither is the one who chose to walk away from a taken man or woman automatically a good person. Everything is about intention. Did you sleep with a taken man or woman as get back, to spite? Did you or do you know the taken man or woman’s partner? Is that why you want them? Did you only not sleep or mess around with a taken man or woman because they just weren’t the taken man or woman you wanted? Or do you just genuinely not get down like that? Everything is deeper than surface level. That’s what makes someone a good or bad person or not.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 and I never wanted you to agree I’m just good at going back and debating. No one can tell me anything no matter how good it sounds and have me just silent. I’ll have a response one way or the other.

[Peridot25]

@Asker In no way I’m a troll. What I said was genuine. I absolutely cannot stand this mentality of someone sleeping with a taken person. I mean, what part of taken do people not understand? The whole point of a relationship is to be loyal to one person. Or many if you’re in a poly relationship. And if someone is taken, you leave them the fuck alone. It’s truly not that hard. I just hate the fact people are normalizing this crap and I don’t understand why. What is so hard about having morals and respect? This is why a lot of people don’t believe in love anymore. It’s not worth it.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 and why does that of all things in the world bother you so much? You said you never been cheated on and you obviously don’t cheat so why are you so passionate about that?

[Asker]

@Peridot25 Like I get people want love but where people go wrong is expecting people from different circumstances and environments to show love the same way and hold love at the same height as others. You can very well have a lot of love in you and mess around with someone taken or even take them. You can very well love your partner and step out and choose someone else. Dating is meant to be that but when we go to adding titles and believing everyone we come across is the one. That’s when feelings get hurt due to cheating, other women and men participating in helping others cheat and so on. No one takes their time, everyone wants to instantly be serious and give ultimatums to be taken serious and this is the outcome. Either people cheat, participate in cheating or getting cheated on or getting abused, manipulated or hurt etc because everyone wants everything so fast. Everyone wants to “own” someone rather than let someone be free and if they come back to you and end up with you, that’s great and if they don’t, they just don’t and even then that’s great too. It means someone else is out there for you. Obviously that someone else isn’t gonna be someone else’s man or woman but you can still have fun.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And you should tell the girlfriend so she can leave him. Don’t be that girl. You would want to know if your man cheated wouldn’t you?

[Booklover_90]

You obviously don’t care about him having a girlfriend. That’s a pretty crappy move.

[the29thhuman]

Not at all. He’s the one that made the error in his relationship. You’re just doing yo!
Next question 🙋‍♀️

[Serkee]

"You're just doing you" only applies when it doesn't affect other people. True, she wasn't the one who cheated, but she sure as hell encouraged it, and played a key role in it.

[Vegasrunner]

No. It only proves what I've said all along which is women are attracted to men who can attract other women.

[Anonymous]

Since you know, yes. And he's terrible too.

[genericname85]

no you're not a "bad person". it's just kind of a dumb thing to do.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a girl I worked with the guy and his gang played her and she now seeing a guy with girlfriend. she was completely played and thinks she's in love lol they all laughing about her. poor girl

[Anonymous]

Both bad.
1. For cheating (worse)
2. For having sex with a cheater (still bad)

[In_Trance]

Ask his girlfriend I'm sure she'll be able to tell you

[Awantika03]

If he has girlfriend why he will sex with you?

[Kingofkings1992]

No fucking shit. You’re either trolling or not very bright if you need to ask

[CubaPirate]

Yes unless it was a threesome with both of them

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you had a powerful attraction to this guy. How was it?

[Nikki1989]

Of course.

[1073sucks]

Yes. You know that already.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yes. In my eyes it does

[ShadesVow]

Think the answer to that is fairly obvious

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yep. Not as bad as him, but yep.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Yes, you should rethink your life.

[elizamichale1]

Not necessarily

[Fireguy17]

still better than him.

[Dongie]

Well now, what do you think?

[whiskeyontherocks]

Yes
This shouldn’t even be a question

[RedInnocent69]

Kind of. But he’s worse.

[Pohjolan]

That's pretty slutty.

[avery58]

Yeah it does

[HelpfulWoman]

Fuck YES

[spartan55]

Yes, it does.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it makes you a home wrecker.

[jjj101010]

U don’t know what their arrangement is

[Anonymous]

Not at all.

[dudeinohio]

Absolutely