Am I a bad girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend been together for 7th months and it was great at first. But then slowly coming in he started letting the whole gifting thing or giving more interest in things we do less appreciation or less knowledge so I would speak with him with things I would appreciate he does because the lack made me overthink that I wasn’t enough. He told me I should start appreciating him more. I did everytime he gave me something to appreciate him and then when I mentioned it on national girlfriend day that he didn't make me feel somewhat special towards the day he brought up being more appreciative. What should I do?

[kylee2437]

Love tends to change overtime. I think what you need to express to him, is that he shouldn’t present stuff to you that he can’t keep up with because once you see a change in behavior you think the worst. Just say “I would love us to be ourselves in the relationship and present things only we can keep up with because we are going to start feeling insecure. Lately I’ve been feeling insecure because the changes I have been seeing, but I totally understand it’s because love changes over time” I think the big issue here is you do need to take accountability that maybe it’s more of your insecurity and not the fact that he isn’t giving as much anymore

[HollyK21]

To clarify, you’re saying that at the beginning of your relationship he was giving you gifts and showing more interest, now he really isn’t, and when you bring it up he says you should be more appreciative, right?

[Asker]

Correct

[HollyK21]

Gotcha. Honestly it kind sounds like he was in a honeymoon phase and showing you his best self vs his true self. That’s what some men don’t understand, when they start one way (like let’s say it’s good morning and goodnight texts, doting over you, dates, etc), then gradually the effort stops, of course you’re going to feel insecure about it, wondering if he’s losing interest or whatever. That shouldn’t be a surprise for him and I’m not sure what about this change you’re supposed to appreciate. I would suggest talking to him, but you already have expressed your feelings and his response is so disappointing. To which I’d ask you now — if you were to marry him today and things were going to stay exactly like this for the rest of your life, would you be happy and satisfied? If the answer is no then maybe it’s time to rethink that relationship before invest more time and getting even deeper into it.

[AviatorTom]

You say he doesn't appreciate you. What do you do to appreciate him? Give him a massage? Cook his favorite meal? Take him to his favorite restaurant?

[Asker]

I give him spa facials for his acne because I know he’s insecure about it , I give him massages , I make him food all the time because he tries to say he isn’t hungry. And all that sorts of stuff to let him know I enjoy doing things for him.

[AviatorTom]

You're not a bad girlfriend. Since he tells you to appreciate him more, have a discussion with him and ask what he wants you to do to show him you care... and then listen to his response.

[britishbby]

Sex, simple give him surprise sex and head and each time say this is how much I appreciate you