Am I being a bad girlfriend?

[avony12]

My boyfriend’s grandmother died and the funeral was held today. (Saturday) He’s sad and wanted me to come over. I told him I could after running all my errands. Soon as I got done I was tired and still had to prepare for church the next day. I told him I couldn’t make it because I’d have to wake up early, go home, leave for church, and have 2 more events afterwards. Mind you it’s a 30min drive there and back. No problem but I literally just came back from his place yesterday. I’m trying to be accommodating but I also have things to do back home/work. Now he’s acting a type a way after explaining. Im trying to accommodate without getting too tired. Am I really a bad girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say you’re a bad girlfriend, but if you wish to maintain the status of girlfriend with this man, you should be open to making sacrifices. Someone important to him died, the funeral took place, and the grief is still fresh. You know how men are when it comes to their emotions? He reached out to you for comfort, which means you have been granted the opportunity to form a stronger emotional connection to him. Grief has a way of opening the door to greater intimacy with men. But now he is feeling rebuffed by you. Your life is still going on, while his is currently on pause while he deals with his grief.

As a church attendee myself, it’s perfectly okay to miss one day of church if it means being there for a loved one. Church will still continue without you, but relationships will not.

[Dinklex3]

Sounds like it to me.
It just shows that you’re not there for him in his time of need just because you don’t want to be tired? Usually when you really care about someone you’re willing to sacrifice your time regardless if you’re tired or not. & I don’t mean all the time, I mean when it’s truly important and they’re going through something. Shows that he’s not a priority and you being well rested & attending your events is more important than his grief for losing someone important in his life.

[Anonymous]

No question about it you should have put everything aside to be there for him. Probably one of the most important people in his life. To me it tells me I’m not important to you. That whatever you have is more important than what’s going on in my life right now. He was at one of his most vulnerable moments in his life. You blew him off. I get church is important, but I’m sure God would have understood if you couldn’t make it as one of his children was making her final destination home. Work can always wait. They’d easily fire you then hire someone else. People are only in our lives so long. Don’t take it for granted. You may not think it’s a big deal, but don’t be surprised if he breaks up w you.

[DannyUk2017]

Yes You are a BAD girlfriend... :D, just kidding, well if he doesn`t understand/appreciate your space, then you/him have an issue (red flag) right then and there, so i`m suggesting to have a convo with him and explain to him that YOU ALSO HAVE A LIFE after him, the life spins around YOU TOO, not just around him. If he wants to make amends about it, then is fine, if not, i guess would be wise.. to cut you loses, and let him be, as down the "line" you`ll start to feel the pressure.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the waters of support in times of loss can be tricky, my friend! Wanting to be there for your partner while balancing your own needs isn't inherently bad. It's about prioritizing and sometimes, life does get in the way. However, considering the gravity of the situation, perhaps reassessing priorities for a bit could've made a world of difference to your boyfriend. It's not about labelling actions as 'good' or 'bad,' but more about flexibility and understanding emotional needs, especially in grieving times. Maybe a compromise could've been finding a small window of time to be there, even briefly, to offer your support. Love, it's all about balancing acts and sometimes, we just gotta lean a tad more one way. 😊💕

[MzAsh]

When a loved one of your significant other dies, you drop what you’re doing and go and be there for them. You’ll one day learn how important this is.

[jennifer_bloom]

If I had a boyfriend who did that, I would dump him and never speak to him again. If he protested, I would file a restraining order against him.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’m sure he’s upset because having your company would have helped but you can’t help the fact that your life goes on either. I would talk to him about it, let him air out his feelings, and then explain your own feelings and that you still care about him. He’s grieving, he’s in a sensitive place right now, just ask him what he needs from you and give it to him so he can process the loss however he needs to.

[HighValue]

That is messed up in my opinion. One of the primary responsibilities of a partner in a relationship is to be there for each other in difficult times like that. He now knows that he can't depend on you when he really needs you. I think he will want to find a more serious partner in the future.

[KrakenAttackin]

He specifically asked for your support and presence and you blew him off. Imagine if he did the same thing to you.

[Mrtcn01]

yes you are bad... it is funeral!! it is not family dinner or somthing like this... it is funeral!!!

[laly520]

no, u have tried

[Danny_dan92]

You can’t just spend the night at his place?

[avony12]

I can but I’d have to wake up to go back home. Then to church.

[Danny_dan92]

Why?