Why are single men and women scared of marriage and kids?

[Anonymous]

[Brittanyroseee]

Its not scared, its just being aware of the responsibility aspect of raising a child.
It is being aware of the cost of them, they are not cheap.
It is being aware of all possible outcomes and risks with having children such as a possible birth defect or disability, the marriage could fail and you are stuck with the burden of your ex partners children, you have no idea how they will turn out in the future, children are very expensive.
Children can also be a headache and they require ultimate patience and love. Not everyone can provide that. Me? I lack patience, i get frustrated easily and i have a temper.
People enjoy their freedom and not being tied down to something/someone major that alters their entire life
Some women are terrified of pregnancy and giving
Birth.
Not everyone is maternal enough, or likes children.
Children are loud, messy, obnoxious, etc.
Some people actually do prefer their own company without having someone following them around 24/7
A child is a lifelong tie to the other person which is either the babydaddy or babymomma. Once you have a child with someone you are tied to that person for life as well even if y'all break up there is still that connection, reminder, etc.
Should i go on?

[kylee2437]

Because I truly believe marriage and kids are not for everyone even if that is a goal for people. We all have different personalities and needs, and some people’s personalities do not intertwine with having children. This is why I am currently not married nor have kids, and it’s not because I don’t want either, it’s because I refuse to do those with just anyone and want someone I feel like would be a great fit for both of those. I would rather be a happy couple first, than introduce the idea of children or anything else into the picture

[MisterWack]

“Scared”.

No one is scared about having children and being married, they are either 1. Not looking for a life partner or 2. Not looking to raise a family and for whatever reason, it is their choice.

Could be too young to worry about the burdens of relationships turned cold or too young to weigh the possibilities & responsibilities of raising a child properly. Could be financial situation, mental health strains, complicated family drama, and so many other reasons. These decisions should be made by the individual, not by people spewing labels alone. Common sense, rationality, pros & cons, self evaluation, and working to be the best you that you can become. All depends on where your priorities are.

[Finchie40]

Because of all the nonsense and drama they hear about it , they feel it’s better to just stay single and live their lives over being tied down to just one person , Most people are selfish and only
Really care about themselves and what is best for themselves , they don’t want to deal with the consequences of what might or might not occur in a committed n relationship, it’s easier for them to do what’s best for themselves, Relationships and Marriages are a lot of work for them to work so to find someone that is willing to choose you the same way you choose them is sadly hard to come by, especially these days.

[jennifer_bloom]

I had multiple life medical conditions when I was younger so I do not know how easily I can adjust to the discipline of carrying a baby and giving birth. I think there is a chance I could suffer fatal health problems if I get pregnant due to my medical history, I know my boyfriend can afford to hire a surrogate if we get married cause there are places in North America where paid surrogacy is legal.

[DishLady]

Bc it’s a LOT of responsibility. Those who aren’t ready for it SHOULD hold back.


Think of it this way… if you’re not a strong swimmer will you go into competitive swimming across the English Channel? No, probably not, and yet every idiot thinks they’re ready to leap into the deep waters of the lifelong commitment to at marriage is supposed to be… which is just silly.


If you’re not a strong swimmer, stay in the shallow waters with someone your speed.

[DishLady]

*that marriage is supposed to be. (Sorry the typo… 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️)

[Account]

I didn't want that even when I was in a relationship. I just don't want to.
It is as simple as that.
Don't judge others happiness standards by your own.

[_Senorita_]

Because of what is going on in today's world is very dangerous... everything is available but not real love... people r scared cuz how the marriages r ending nowadays so easily...

People are scared they can't take someone's responsibility... the challenges are quite different from the old times where people were with eachother in other's up's and downs in life... the relationships r ending... people are ready to be alone cuz they get everything goddamm online in these end of Times ..

Kids comes next another burden cuz they don't want real happiness they r not willing to do anything... A happy family is being scarce because of these modern nuclear traditions!!

[imtiaz45]

Single men and women may fear marriage and having children for various reasons. Commitment can be intimidating, as it often requires significant lifestyle changes and long-term responsibilities. Some may worry about losing independence, facing financial burdens, or handling the challenges of parenting. Past experiences, such as witnessing failed relationships or divorces, can also create anxiety. Others may fear making the wrong choice in a partner or feel unprepared for the emotional and practical demands of marriage and parenthood. Ultimately, these fears stem from the desire for stability and happiness, which can seem uncertain in the face of such major life changes.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/B-prhvB7dIQ

[UnicornLobotomy]

I can tell you why guys are

Number one reason

Family Court Western countries it’s basically to be their dad. There is really no argument it’s common knowledge

Second reason

The amount of sexual partners average women can And seem to be doing based on their social media presentation of themselves, Scares the hell out of most men. (not me, and probably not older guys as much, I’ve made plenty of mistakes) But as an isolated young man growing up in the country once, I see where they are coming from.

Third reason.

Kids are expensive, Inflation and western countries and all over the world really has made it very detrimental to one’s finances, It’s a sacrifice as a sacrifice people in western countries. Families aren’t as close anymore, your kids don’t and aren’t expected to take care of you When you’re old anymore.

[mstbooblover]

Having enjoyed the advantages of not having to justify themselves to anyone about their actions while single since many years makes the responsibilities of marriage and kids rather deterrent, even if some singles seem tired of bein alone... Mind that being alone does not mean lonely. Still, the more years pass by while single, the more difficult it will be to get rid of some particular habits of people having no one home to bother about.

To be honest I have been married during 38 years till my wife passed away in 2017, and I really have no complaints about living single. Nevertheless, I miss the intimacy of a friendly girlfriend. The good compromise would be not living together at first, but share many different activities together.

[jshm2]

They aren't. Just like racists are not really scared of Black people "taking over" but their obstinance on the matter attracts drama and attention.

What they have in common is projection of their insecurities and incompetence's.

People scared of kids or marriage are actually more scared of being "unlovable" or "bad parents" so they claim to be "happy alone" or having "fur babies" and attack others views as it's something they actually covet.

[Katebfun]

For having the sacrifice especially for women is not worth it. Women have to give up their figure, mental health, their freedom and $ for a child. I’m not scared of marriage; I want to get married one day. I suppose some are scared because who you give your heart to will ultimately affect your whole life and mental health as well, choose wisely!

[Brittanyroseee]

Yep, kid is not worth it for me. I don’t want to sacrifice for a copy of myself

[Brittanyroseee]

Marriage though without kids where its just about y'all sounds ideal to me:)

[Katebfun]

@Brittanyroseee haha or a Copy of someone you may regret to love too. Lol

[art84]

I think I am scared of marriage seeing my brother who got married about 6 years old with two little girls from his ex wife. Now he has to pay to child support till the girls are 18 years old. The marriage had its ups and downs literally more downs as my brother was the one taking care of the girls with cooking and taking them to school. His wife got the girls with full custody with him seeing the girls every other weekend. Children are expensive and very picky least my nieces are when buying them anything. I know my brother's marriage wasn't going to be perfect as it certainly takes both parents to work together in a marriage. As a single man, I wouldn't want marriage and children in today's world that we live in. It's really a risk in getting married and having children like playing the lottery.

[DextroShade]

The reasons are different for men and women:

Men see a lot of guys lose their families because the wife decides to wreck her own home via divorce. These men end up spending years paying for the bitch ex wife live in his home, fuck other dudes there, and raising his kids to hate him and become failures.

Women are easily manipulated NPCs and see a lot of influencers celebrating the child-free life, are told by leftist environmentalist whackjobs that having kids is selfish, and may have traumatic childhoods caused by not having a dad (see above). They also get ran-through by men who wouldn't make good fathers.

Finally both genders see parents doing this gentle parenting thing which just looks painful and insane so most don't want to raise kids if that's how they have to do it. They also hear all these stupid platitudes from these same shitty parents such as "Your life is over once you have a kid, it's all about them!"

[Quigly]

In most cases, I see that Married people are people that just don't have a choice to be single. They made mistakes in their life and they are now tied to that life filled with regrets. They are jealous of single people that didn't make the mistake they made.

Marriage and kids certainly doesn't make your life better or easier. Most married people you see have been married several times with kids from past marriages. They might be in another marriage. But, They are still broken families.

America is a third world corrupt country. Our banks are fraudulent, our Real Estate Markets are fraudulent, Marriage is an institution tied at the hip and is just as fraudulent. I would never send a kid to our public schools. Illegal immigration is proof there is a problem with America and yet our politicians would rather illegally import people from other countries than change and fix the country.

[hello123456789]

I'm going to keep it 100% with you...

1. The Economy-- Have you seen inflation? It costs too much damn money just to have a wedding, kids, etc. It's not even worth it when you consider the costs.

2. Freedom- This younger generation wants freedom. They want to do their jobs and make money and travel

3. Men- Marriage does not benefit men anymore. She can divorce you and take half of your money. Who wants this stress?

[mayurr]

Not scared but it's a burden.

Common people's income can never satisfy their basic needs. Forget about dreams. They are just dreams.

Don't know who's ex will come in our life to ruin it because many of them are just playing the game of relationship & breakups.

Don't want unnecessary drama to waste my energy on & steal my mental peace.

I'll save my future kid's lives from cruel humans by not giving them life. Let their souls live peacefully somewhere else in the multiverse.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is going. Also the three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring & suffering. There is no benefit to saying I do unless you want to lose half your shit.

[CuriousHubby]

Cause the married ones get into divorced and fight which we see and watch on TV to be so awful. Guys are constantly made to hear the guys side of the woman screwing him over after a divorce.

The kids well a lot see unruly kids making scenes and causing huge issues. Who wants to lose all their sleep for a brat who won't give you a second of piece and who will be a teen in time hating you.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I'm not. I want marriage (I am planning to stay celibate from now on until marriage) and I want a somewhat large family that I plan to support on a single parent income.

This is the most important goal in my life to achieve. All my work since becoming an adult has been to set myself up professionally, academically (starting a master's degree already planning a 2nd), and financially.

[msc545]

remember that no plan survives contact with reality.

[bobby_bush_eater]

@msc545 I am well aware.

I actually started the basis of this plan and heavily modified since I was a 19 year old E-1 to now. I think I've achieved a lot for my age. I know I am in a financial position most aren't at my age, even most 10 years my senior, I invest (ed) while remaining extremely focused on school and the military yet lived frugally. I have completed 2 degrees that I planned, I served 6 years and exited as a SSgt honorably. The plan changed, had hiccups, and alterations but ultimately I remain on course.

I feel little satisfaction though, the last points of the plan are the biggest and will be most challenging (a planned move abroad within the year, a career switch, and then a family is currently if everything went perfectly which I don't anticipate) yet they will be the most rewarding if I can continue to fulfill each goal.

I don't expect to be the same person in 4 years as I was very much not the same person 4 years ago. However, continuing my bloodline and having a family has always been a priority even in my less mature, and less well behaved days.

I am an extreme planner in many facets of my life, I know the plan will change naturally but I hope that's through growth not blatant oversights on my end.

[msc545]

Excellent! Keep at it.

[Unit1]

Marriage and Divorce ruins people in all aspects and robs them of their money. Of course we're fucking scared it'll fuck us over too. It's called having self-preservation instincts.

[Anonymous]

Probably because most women initiate divorce. The divorce rate is 50%, and 90% of those are initiated by women. Hell take a look at lesbian marriages, they literally have a 90% divorce rate, and their domestic violence rate is 4 times that of straight marriage, and 8 times that of gay marriage.

Bottom line, marriage only benefits women, and even more so in divorce, essentially most women only see men as a pay check nothing more.

[SugarSugarplum]

I would imagine it's the divorce rate and the high alimony and child support judgements. But also PRON has taught them to seek a life of endless sex and no commitment.

[Anonymous]

Not scared. Just not interested.


I’ve been asked two times by two different guys and said no right off the bat! They got mad and it was a sh*t storm. Gladly I knew why I said no, lol
I had a baby when I was 20/21. Now I’m near 40 and I see folks having babies, having more babies, married miserably, etc. I’m glad I got it out of the way early in life.

[dustybiker2]

Effort is scary. It's probably not wanting to adapt and change is what makes the idea terrifying. A lot of people who float through here expect others to conform to them and that is not how marriage works.

[luvstoned4him]

I guess it comes down to preferences. i personally want to get married and have kids one day

[adam6402]

Why are people scared of going to prison?

Same reason. Losing freedom.

Except marriage and kids come with a lot more responsibility and headaches than prison lol😂

[Kingofkings1992]

Lack of interest in doing something doesn’t equate to being scared. That’s a pretty childish statement. I don’t what world you’ve been living in the past few years, but many people feel as though they can’t provide the same/better lives for their children that they had because of rising costs and wages not keeping up with the cost of living. If we can’t even do that, then what’s the point in having kids? Just contribute to this already ridiculously overpopulated planet?

[Nikki1989]

Usually they know deep down they don't have what it takes to make it work.

[HawkPerception]

I'm not scared of marriage or kids. But right now, I don't have the financial capability to have either and it would be extremely irresponsible to have them at this point in my life.

[getpucksin]

Well if they are single it's probably BECAUSE they do not want marriage or kids yet. That's okay. Not everyone needs to get married and have kids. It is strange to care so much about someone else's lifestyle.

[WodensGedriht]

Cause our economy and liberal culture isn't built for it.

It's really hard to pursue a traditional life these days so that throws people off.

Our civilization is ending.

[sawno]

Kids isn't the issue, marriage is the issue with the legal system screwing men over if the women decides she wants another guy.

[msc545]

Not scared, just avoiding it. You can thank feminists and child support and alimony and unfair family law courts and bad outcomes that are illegal for all of this.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Smart man & I totally agree bro.

[msc545]

@Static_In_The_Attic 👍

[pregananant]

Some people aren't "scared", they just have zero desire for kids because not everyone wants kids and that's okay.

[serious]

That is because marriage and kids are not for everyone.

[RingOfFire]

It changes your entire lifestyle. It's the death of freedom. Other than that, nothing to fear.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

They aren't scared. Most people are going to get married and have kids.

The losers will just continue to be single and bitch about life.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's observing all of my friends who have gone through multiple marriages with kids and the absolute nightmare of custody battles and divorce. It has truly scared the living sh!+ out of me!

[DrPepper12]

Why would you say that? Seems most are looking for love and stability.

[captain_voidwalker]

Well when the cost of everything is about double to triple what is was in 2019, who the hell can afford marriage and children

[gorydetails]

Because in recent years our culture has shifted into a narcissistic, nihilistic cult.

[Crazzyyworld]

Well not everyone is rich enough to take care of wife$ and kid$‘ fucking dream. American dream co$t$ hefty money.

[Crazzyyworld]

And there is no guarantee that everyone will be successful.

[Papabubbles]

Been there done that. Will do anything for my son. Marriage never again

[Anonymous]

Dating is all about games now and dating is also nearly impossible now.

[Vegasrunner]

No value in marriage for men.

[supercutebutt]

We prefer cats to children. 🐈

[jazzy34]

Not everyone wants marriage. Personally, I do.

[ChicoFromThe305]

The world will never know

[genericname85]

cause kids are fucking expensive? XD

[LiamJHayden]

No-fault divorce laws.

[missindiana93]

Not want everyone wants.

[Arichip]

Responsibility scares some

[Enginn]

Because they are scared of it.

[lightbulb27]

Selfish, fear.

[Purpleronnie]

Scared? Doubt it

[paledreams]

Cost and effort 😆

[Pudsmucker]

Afraid of commitment