Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who’s got disorganized attachment style?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I gave secure attachment but I used to be disorganized - fearful avoidant and I overcame that. I still get the tiny urge to get fearful avoidant when feeling worried, but I am conscious of that and Don’t allow myself dwell in those feelings. I want to be my best self with someone who I care for deeply. I don’t usually get to the point of caring much about a man, because I quit before I even start caring… But I developed feelings for someone and I want to be my best loving self for both of us. I wonder with your experience how do disorganized attachers make your life difficult? I want to know it so I will not make same mistakes. I want to make sure, I’m at my healthiest and the only thing I’ve got to offer is peace, harmony, love and positivity.

Updates

1 y

My bad, guys, I did the attachment test again much more thoughtfully and it showed I am secure 😇 It has showed secure too in the past.

[msc545]

This is more ambivalence than disorganization. Disorganization is a serious psychiatric sign.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I hope so… But there must be a reason I am single even though I am always asked out on dates 😂 I am not boasting but my dms are often full with messages and I am often asked out, but I rarely ever answer them and feel totally uninterested. I go on dates, but feel not that interested. Why am I that ambivalent? I only get interested in a man rarely, but then I get too much into him 😂 And to make sure I don’t get too into him I go out on dates, to make sure I won’t get too attached too soon. I also tent to get into emotionally unavailable men, like the one I am super into now has a commitment fear, due to his failed engagement years ago. When we talked about our fears, He told me he is scared of responsibility. Out of all men I could get interested to, I looked at him and chose him, he reminds me of myself.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks for answer, your insight is important for me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hmm, I redid the test and shows secure. I guess I am secure but in a dynamic where another one is avoidant, I can get slightly fearful.

[msc545]

Please don't take the results of such tests too seriously. They really are not worth much of anything.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s not just a test, it’s my observation. But I don’t think it has anything to do with any serious psychiatric sign, because I have had an amazing therapist I’ve been seeing on and off and she never refers me to a psychiatrist- saying I am just too critical of myself and need to accept my emotions instead of thinking there’s something wrong with me. At most I might have mild anxiety. Even though you have very bad view on my mental profile probably 😁

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do understand it might be a symptom of more serious mental health conditions but thankfully, neither I nor any of my close friends or family have ever expressed a concern about my mental health.

[Nikki1989]

That just about sums up most men I have been with.

[WhitneySnow]

Update: Good!

[eagle1951]

nope