Why is it wrong to be friends with an ex?

[Anonymous]

My ex girlfriend, who I dated a while back , and she has avoidant attachment issues, and she comes back each time she’s single, and blocks when she’s not
Ladies, any gents, should I cut her off?

[Sheriblossom]

I think being friends with an ex will feel more comfortable in the short term. Cutting someone off for good is a really hard thing to do, especially after dating them for some time. But in the long term, I don't think anyone really benefits.

1. If you want her back, being her friend will throw off the process. She can still have you in her life whilst being single and exploring her options... which leads to my next point

2. Are you mentally prepared to watch her move on? She's going to start dating someone else eventually right? Are you going to be okay with that? and lastly...

3. It's unfair to future partners. If you start dating again, it's going to be super weird to say you are friends with your ex. How is it possible to be "just friends" with someone you probably saw naked? It's unlikely your new partner would be okay with that.

[Asker]

Great points, you gave me the most helpful answer!
She has moved on and told me she’d never like
Me again, but at the same time she leaves when she’s taken and comes back when she’s single so I don't know with her

[Sheriblossom]

Thank you, I appreciate that! I'm struggling with my situation as well. I didn't even date this guy but for some reason I'm so hung up on the idea of him. He's not treating me right. But because I still hang onto hope/ have a hard time letting go, I just keep thinking about him and everything he does and what it means. It's really hard right now, but one day I hope to value myself and love myself enough to see that I shouln't waste any time on people who feel lukewarm about me, and always come to me when something else didn't work out. You truly deserve better than that. But like any relationship, it even takes work to build a strong relationship with yourself. You need to get to a point where you love and respect yourself so much that you won't even give these people a second thought. Think about it, if you love yourself and think you're truly awesome, then these people are just dumb dumbs for not seeing your worth and treating you better!

[smashleyy]

I think you should cut her off for good if she’s just treating you like a temporary fixture

[Asker]

True! I’ve thought about it , I just I don't know, I have a tie to her, it’s weird, I need to stand up!