Is this typically true about empathetic people?

[Anonymous]

When it comes to feeling a certain way after someone has said or did something to you as a empathetic person because of your empathy will you be quick to falsely blame yourself for those feelings rather than blame the person who actually caused you to feel a way?

[SueShe]

I consider myself an empathetic person but it would never come to my mind to blame others for how I feel.

I guess that women tend to be more empathetic than men simply because we have our motherly instinct that most of us are born with. We feel for those that are less fortunate or that have emotional and/or physical issues.

I live near a home for children with Down syndrome and my heart bleeds every time I see some of those adorable kids.

I would never falsely blame myself for feeling that way. Even though at time it may be a burden, I am glad I am able to feel those emotions and be compassionate.

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying but I’m saying for example. Let’s say you have an older sibling. They always come to you about their problems. The world revolves around them and they never consider your problems. So you blame yourself in a “Maybe they don’t listen to my problems the way I listen to theirs because of X, Y and Z.” That X, Y and Z all pointing the blame toward you rather than considering that that sibling simply is just selfish and only cares about them.

[SueShe]

That could be indeed something to think about. But you could also be at fault yourself for letting others pour their soul over. It is a conflictual situation because

1. if you don't listen to them, you might be getting across as cold hearted and uninterested
2. your feelings will be misused and then you may hate yourself for being empathetic and not putting your foot down to protect your own self.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about blame. But you'll probably take responsibility for the role you played in it.