If he still hasn't initiated sex after 5 dates, should I assume he wants a real relationship?

Question

I'm used to guys trying to have sex with me on the 2nd or 3rd date. I've been on 5 dates with this guy and all of them have gone well. Is he hoping that I initiate sex or is it likely that he wants a romantic relationship rather than just a hookup?

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

Considering the "sex date" is the 3rd date, then I am surprised you aren't whinning that he hasn't tried. When I was dating, most of the women I did have sex with was on the 3rd date. 1 was on the 4th. 2 were on the 2nd, and 1 was instead of a first date (long story).
The fact is, you are an adult now. You shouldn't be hung up on the nonsense of "is he just after sex". Because all men are after sex. It is what drives us, especially at your age. That doesn't mean we only want sex. But it will be up at the top of the list.
Get past that dumb way of thinking and just see if he is a good man.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

5 dates has never lead me to sex in the past. What's more crazy to me is that everyone in the comments seems to think 5 dates and not having sex is abnormal. Of course you can like someone without sex. You might want it, but you also want to show you're not just there for the sex and don't want to ruin things by asking for it.

ihateTaylorSwift · Accepted Answer

Maybe after those dates
With you

He's been ghosting you
And fucking somebody else

So don't even worry about it
He's some other girls problem

Unless he's waiting on u now
to make the move
Since y'all already went out
He's giving u the chance
To make the effort
Without chasing too much

Because he knows
If he does that
It'll give himself away
If he does want just sex
From u

Maybe the silence is a hint
He's about done
Focusing on Food

Time for the other F word Lol

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you want sex I suggest you drop some pretty big hints. Don't wear a bra. Out of the blue flop your boobs out. Invite him for a night cap and walk out of the bathroom naked.

A favourite of mine is asking him to show me how to hit the ball at pitch n put and he gets close and my butt is touching his crotch and I hold it there, sooner or later his little friend wants to play as well.

AviatorTom · Answer

No sex in 5 dates is not abnormal, but you should have had some kind of intimacy by now. Kissing and making out at least. If that has happened, it's possible that he is looking for a relationship and not just sex. But it could also mean he's unsure of what he wants.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Possibilities: He has no idea about your behavioural expectations based on mathematics He does not know he is expected to initiate anything He wants you to show a greenlight He has no sexual experience He's unsure because you have not talked about important topics He's not into sex He's an alien monitoring your behaviour before abducting you He doesn't exist because you're asking a GaG question in your dreams You won't read my answer because my internet connection will fail Your question does not exist because I'm dreaming Voilà.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Wow... You're really not used to guys that want romantic relationships rather than just a hookup are you? I'm sure if you initiate sex, that it will happen. To me it just sounds like he's trying to show you, I repeat, SHOW YOU, that he's interested in more than just sex.

And that's coming from a guy that wouldn't even date unless I get the sex first... and I'd make you pay for the dates.

BadApple69 · Answer

Don’t read too much into it. Some guys are much slower to go out on that limb. Realize that the sex question is often the death sentence in the early days of a relationship. I personally would let my desires be known but wouldn’t suggest sex unless she made it clear tats what she wanted. Are you giving and clues that sex would be ok?

CuriousMoonFox · Answer

Who knows? Have you kissed? Is he trying to touch or get physically close to you? If yes, I assume he's trying to take it slow. Whether out of shyness, respect or fear of a possibly negative reaction from you side or in an attempt to initiate anything long term is hard to tell.

JayBfencepost · Answer

What age are we talking about? What type of background and religious upbringing did he have? Yes if after 5 dates he has not brought it up, then he likes you and likes being with you and he probably doesn't want to mess it up. You may be so used to men being hornballs that this seems odd, but it's Best just to bring it up. If you want to have sex, just ask him.

glennos89 · Answer

He most likely wants to have a real relationship with you but he can also be a very shy person that wants to have sex

The best way to be 100% sure is to ask him straight up!

Anyways it's a great sign he probably isn't doing it for the sex

Keyboardkat · Answer

I think he wants a real romantic relationship and not just a hookup! Some guys are actually old-fashioned and want the real thing, no matter how hot he may be to get into your pants! The real thing is worth waiting for. Nobody seems to think this way anymore. I think it's a real shame.

TadCurious · Answer

That could be one big indicator that he wants a relationship and not just sex. He probably doesn't want you to think he's only looking for sex. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

dragoblack · Answer

You could just talk to him about it. Not all men are the same, some men wait until they feel comfortable with the person they are interested in, some wait till marriage, and some are straight up asexual. There is a wide variety out there when it comes to men.
But, like i said initially, just talk to him about it. he will more than likely tell you and it is a green flag for men when women are willing to communicate their feelings and intentions

molonski2 · Answer

I have found from very vast experience that this is highly unusual..

Why? Well , that's the question isn't it.. assuming there is some really hot passion there? If so , don't think it matters.

If not , there is a serious problem.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Don't keep imagining things speak your mind to him saves time simple honest and efficient. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Abbycado · Answer

He might just be taking things slow out of respect. I look at it as a good thing he isn’t pushy about that.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I wouldn't be worried about sex until you are in a committed relationship, where he actually asks you to be his girlfriend.. other than that just keep enjoying your time with him.

Anonymous · Answer

A few things. Could be shy guy. Could be waiting for you to make a move becvaus ehe doesn't want to scare you off. Could be a bit gay. Could have a man infection.

spartan55 · Answer

So, nothing about sex or a committed relationship has come up during your dates?

Nikki1989 · Answer

It could be a good thing, OR it could be an enormous red flag.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I've had dates where we'd have sex on the first date... but a long term dynamic has always been the goal.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never had sex with a woman who I've only had 5 dates with, nor would I want to. I want to get to know her better and develop a stronger connection first.

PunQueenCon · Answer

Five dates? That's more dedication than it takes to assemble IKEA furniture. Maybe he appreciates the full assembly instructions before leaping to the final act or and this is a wild guess he actually likes you.

zagor · Answer

Maybe he just wants to take things slow? He may be busy with other things.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Dude where is you father? You obviously have issues and have a lack of self respect.

Pohjolan · Answer

Yeah he probably doesn't want a fake relationship.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Or he respects your boundaries and thus is waiting for a clear indication that you want to go there.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Sounds like you haven’t initiated either. Have you all at least kissed or is he just a friend?

Staximus · Answer

If you're not acting like you want to have sex then why would he?

msc545 · Answer

It is most likely that he is not into having sex with you at all.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess he probably wants real relationship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Likely he wants a real relationship

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

That is odd. Maybe he is religious?

jahaims · Answer

He just has self respect

David5668 · Answer

Have you asked why or initiated yourself?

Crazzyyworld · Answer

wait til 10 dates

Christian_Cartier · Answer

He's probably just inexperienced.

Mia2004 · Answer

Probably waiting for you to give to go ahead.

Tomisworthless · Answer

he's being fake

noohair · Answer

OMG... Old school...

Anonymous · Answer

He's probably gay.

MasterKS · Answer

no, it won't express that.

Anonymous · Answer

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If he still hasn't initiated sex after 5 dates, should I assume he wants a real relationship?

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Does he really want to have a serious relationship?

If he still hasn't initiated sex after 5 dates, should I assume he wants a real relationship?

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Does he really want to have a serious relationship?

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