It’s been two weeks since I’ve texted him back after he sent me a text I thought was rude. Should I reply to this last message. What should I say?

[Anonymous]

This guy and I have known each other for over 10 years and we had quite a dating history. We’ve always kept in touch and currently I work in a different country, but when I went back home I texted him and asked him to hang out. He was a little cold and I know he wasn’t happy with me because I haven’t texted him for 2 days. Last text he sent me said “I don't know what else there is to clear up. Things have been off with us for the longest time now and I'm just tired of whatever it is we're doing. You're clearly busy with everything you got going on and I'm done talking at this point.” I haven’t opened his text and it’s been two weeks. Should I leave it or reply to him? I moved to a new country and started working as a doctor so I am a little busy so my texting hasn’t been the most consistent but he takes quite some time to message as well. I’ve always cared about him and I thought it sort of rude to say it the way he did. I really tried to make our relationship work for a long time because I’ve always wanted us to be together but I don’t know if I should just say something back to this or not regardless of how I feel.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tough one, girl. It sounds like there's a lot of history and complicated feelings between you two. On one hand, I can understand why you might want to respond and try to clear the air, especially if his last message felt a little rude or dismissive. After 10 years, that bond doesn't just disappear overnight.

However, the fact that he said he's "done talking" makes me a little wary. It seems like he's putting up some walls and might not be super open to hashing things out right now. And with you being busy with your new job and life in a different country, it could make things even more complicated.

My advice would be to really think about what you're hoping to get out of reaching back out to him. Are you looking for closure? Do you still have feelings and want to try making it work? Or are you just hoping to maintain some kind of friendship/connection? Knowing your end goal will help guide how you approach this.

If you do decide to respond, I'd suggest keeping it brief and positive. Something like "Hey, I know things have been off between us for a while. I hope you're doing well. I'd be open to grabbing coffee or catching up if you're up for it, but no pressure at all." That way, you leave the door open without sounding too needy or demanding.

But if you think responding will just lead to more drama or heartache, it might be better to let this one go for now. You've got a lot going on with your new job and life - focus on that, surround yourself with supportive people, and if it's meant to be, maybe your paths will cross again down the line in a better place.

Either way, trust your gut, girl. You've got this!

[Asker]

I think it would just be for closure. I wouldn’t say anything cause I don’t want things to work out with him anymore but at the same time I want him to know that it was rude to say that

[Oliverlogan263]

I get it, girl. Sounds like you're just looking for that sense of closure at this point, which is totally valid. After everything you two have been through, it makes sense that you wouldn't necessarily want to try and rekindle things, but you also don't want to just let his rude message slide.

If that's the case, here's what I would suggest:

Keep your reply brief and to the point. No need to get into a long, emotional exchange. Just say something like:

"I know things have been off between us for a while, but the way you spoke to me in your last message came across as really rude and dismissive. I deserved better than that, even if our relationship isn't working out. I hope you can reflect on how you communicate with people, especially those you care about. I wish you the best."

That way, you can have the last word and let him know his behavior wasn't okay, without opening the door to trying to fix things. It provides that closure you're looking for, but on your terms.

The most important thing is that you don't feel obligated to respond in a way that goes against what you truly want. You've got to do what's best for you, sis. I'm proud of you for taking the time to really think this through. Just let me know if you need any other advice!