My boyfriend liked another woman’s bikini picture, should I be upset?

Question

Hello everybody, I am a 23 YOF and my boyfriend is a 26 YOM. We have been dating for just about 3 years now and we have recently moved in together. We have been living together for about 8 months and I can honestly say it is going great. It was a fantastic transition, we have a blast together, and I feel that it has taken our relationship to the next level. Getting engaged has even been a thought on our minds lately. This all started yesterday. My boyfriend is very loyal. One thing I’ve always admired is he doesn’t like certain things in social media. An example is is follows Sidney Sweeney and never likes her post…I know he sees them, but it is nice to know that myself and our mutual friends can’t see his admiration for her. This all started when my parents were looking at my sister’s husband’s instagram page yesterday (he is a POS). They found that he was following a lot of women who posted pictures half naked, and he was liking a lot of them. My parents were appalled and I was surprised myself. This caused me to look through my own boyfriend’s following. I was almost to the bottom and I was super relieved since he only followed old college friends, and liked none of their revealing pics. Until, I found an account with a girl who posted a good amount of bikini pics and my boyfriend liked most of them. She was someone he went to college with, and it appears she has a girlfriend. Regardless, my concern was not him trying to cheat, I just feel a little embarrassed that other people can also see that he liked it. My boyfriend is literally perfect in every other area. He listens, communicates, and takes great care of me and my dog. For that reason, I think that’s why I’m so upset…he never does anything that makes me uncomfortable so I don't know how to handle this. I feel like if I bring it up, I’ll sound crazy. But, holding it in is making me irritated and I can feel myself being in a bad mood. Any advice on if or how I should bring it up?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Just about every girlfriend that I've had
They know me as a person and if we were looking at bathing suits girls in bikinis and if she asked me what did I think about this one I would tell her what do I think about that one I would tell her and just because they are girls with bikinis on doesn't mean that he's looking at them in any other way but then the bikinis themselves I know that's kind of hard to believe to believe but that's the truth

If my girlfriend and I are walking through the mall and I look over to the right or left and I see a girl with that looks good and I like what she's wearing I will say to my girlfriend what do you think about those pants or what do you think about that outfit and she knows that I'm talking about the outfit I'm not talking about the girl

Look at those beautiful girls everywhere but just because the guy looks at the girl doesn't mean he's actually looking at the girl he could be looking at anything any part about her I'm a very detailed person and I like clothes that are different I like girls that wear different types of clothes and I'll point it out

And there have been times when one of my girlfriends would say well what are you looking at and I'd say what the f*** do you think I'm looking at look at that girl she is hot isn't she and I'll have the biggest smile on my face because I like to laugh once in awhile I'm with my girlfriend I could care less about any other girl but guys are going to look I'm going to look it doesn't mean that I'm always looking at the girl yeah it's hard I'm looking at the clothes

At the same time we could be walking to the mall will be holding hands and all the sudden three guys will be walking towards us and I'll look up and all three of them are just staring at my girlfriend and I'll get a little bit of a smile on my face and I'll wait a minute but then I'll turn to look at my girlfriend and she'll look at me and she'll see my smile on my face so she knows why I'm smiling and she'll she's smiling too and she'll tell me to knock it off and as the guys walk by I'll just say pretty nice huh because she is nice I mean guys are going to look too I mean come on it doesn't mean anything she knew that they were looking at her I knew that they were looking at her but I'm not going to give her a hard time for it she didn't she's not doing anything except for holding my hand walking through the mall and there's we're smiling at each other she's squeezing my hand like don't do it don't say anything but if you knew me I have to say something though but not towards her it is what it is your boyfriend sounds like he's a really good guy don't be creating drama I mean that's the last thing in the world you want to do

If you were going to do anything you should have said something when you're both together looking at bathing suit pictures or whatever and you should have been a smart-ass about it like stick your tongue back in your mouth or something you know just to acknowledge to him that you can see what's going on and he'll say whatever he has to say but it will be the truth probably so

One of the worst things in the world to do when you are a couple is to either get jealous or intimidated or create drama or no need

Your boyfriend's with you because he likes you he probably loves you you're smart you're intelligent and you're confident that we're confident he loves the word confident most men love the word confident that means that they're not worried about any other girl and guys like that when a guy is going out with a girl
And she's confident because she knows in her heart he's going out with her and only her he loves that I mean he walks up straighter and taller just because of that

Same with the girl if she has a boyfriend that believes in her and if there's guys around and they start flirting with her coming on to her and if she doesn't like it she's going to stand up and say something knowing that her boyfriend has her back it's the same way with a guy when two people have confidence and love each other or believe in each other there's nothing that can take that away

And when you both can do that that's what makes a relationship strong

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I’m not sure whether you would find this way of looking at it helpful or not but imagine you and your boyfriend are on holiday , your at the beach , you both have you AirPods in listening to some tunes relaxing 😎 , gaming out at the ocean and the busy beach front around you.
This woman walks past , she is stunningly attractive , she is only wearing her bikini bottoms and they are only of a size to cover her most intimate body parts.

Would you expect your boyfriend to look? There isn’t a woman alive that wouldn’t expect her man to look at what’s on offer. Would you expect his to like what he saw? Again , no woman would believe her man if he answered negatively. Does it mean that he would sleep with that woman? NO , does it mean that the woman would want to sleep with him? NO. Doesn’t it just mean that your man is a red blooded male like every other heterosexual male? … absolutely.

Even if he did go happily agree to “not like” pictures of hot women on IG or any other social media. Would you also be able to police his thoughts 💭? .. NO

So how about you just accept that guys are going to look and like 👍 and just be the best version of yourself believing in what you have to offer is all he needs. And if that were to change that’s on him , because there is nothing wrong with you !

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

You have now found out he may have his hand in the crooked cookie jar in liking and following and looking at these sort of girls and their pix. You can either live with it or move out. He won't change. My sister who has been married for years with her hubby, He always did this and even porn. Finally having prostate cancer cured some of that but I am betting with being still in the bathroom on the toilet for a long time, he still gets aroused like a neutered car. I personally would not like it and cause a fracas.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

This is not a big deal unless he’s also communicating with her in an inappropriate way. It is a little annoying, but he’s literally perfect in every other way so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Just like some hot guy’s pics if it makes you feel better. What’s good for the goose… or something like that lol.

AviatorTom · Answer

You have the right to be upset over anything that bothers you, but you will be happier and live a calmer life if you only get upset over important things.

A guy liking the picture of an attractive woman is very common. We guys are visual creatures, and we like looking at nice things. Be confident in your relationship and how he interacts with you... that's what's really important.

Summeroflove · Answer

If he’s lusting after other women. Confront him

MrPiercedD · Answer

It means that both of you are not honest with each other.
You wrote that your boyfriend is perfect, that he takes great care of you. But do you take great care of him?
He doesn't tell you what he likes, wants and needs (at least not everything, or he is saying but you think it's not important).
You are not giving him what he needs or wants (maybe you have few extra lbs and you don't want to wear bikini?).
Remember - 99% of the guys are afraid of saying that they think that you have few extra lbs, that you should dress more sexy (sexy for him is different what is sexy for you), etc. Don't count that your boyfriend is different, that he is in that other 1% - he is not.

To answer your question - ask him straight what should you change in yourself and mention that you will not get mad even if he says boobs too small or too much weight or not enough sex. Be persistent until he finally says what he doesn't want to say. Don't get mad.

Be careful - his answer may lead that you brake up with him. But better to brake up now, not after 5 years or after the wedding.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Why is it I see women asking questions like this every other day?

Anyway is it a “good thing” he’s liking other women’s bikini pics? No it really isn’t. But he isn’t “cheating”.

You don’t see men complaining about how their gfs/wives have crushes and fantasies on male celebrities. Really how many guys get all insecure of their gfs having a crush on Ryan Gosling or something?

Now if he’s actually DM’ing these women or worse meeting up with them in person that’s a different story. But you really are overreacting.

That doesn’t mean you have to “like” his behavior but this is a far cry from cheating. It also doesn’t mean he’s lost attraction for you or something. There are much worse red flags when it comes to that.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

You say you got "almost to the bottom" when you found those bikini posts that your boyfriend liked. Is it possible that those posts are from years and years ago? Like from before the two of you were dating?

It sounds like your boyfriend's social media history is pretty clean. Maybe he had some other reason to like those pictures. Maybe she was getting ready for a competition, or your boyfriend knows the person who designed the bikini, or something.

This is PROBABLY nothing to be concerned about. Although, I have to point out, your boyfriend might be kind of concerned that you decided you needed to snoop through his entire social media history because you heard about someone else doing something bad. So even if your boyfriend did do something wrong when he liked those pictures, your red flag might be bigger than his red flag.

Desi_Butcher · Answer

Learn to let go off little things like these in a relationship. Nobody is absolutely perfect.
He's not crazy after other women that's for sure. Although it's not right what he did but don't let that be the catalyst for a ruined relationship.
He must have liked them just coz he knows her or those pics could be old.
Cherish the man and don't let this slight thing spoil it.

CindyRuns · Answer

Get a life girl !!!

What's wrong with your boyfriend finding some other woman to be attractive as long as he is loyal to you and treats you right.

I can definitely admire a cute guy... from a distance !!! That doesn't mean that I'm thinking of cheating on my husband !!!

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Get used to the idea that at one point in time he liked girls in a bikini. You'd rather he be a foggat that made the switch to women just for you?

__Nikki__ · Answer

Did he say he wouldn't like anyone else's pictures? If so, maybe I can see why you'd be upset he went against his word, but personally I don't see a problem. I know my husband will notice other women, I know he'll find them attractive, I've never thought to try and see what posts he likes on Instagram as I don't see why it would bother me. As for whether someone else might judge or relationship if they see he's liked something, that's their problem.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Being able to appreciate beauty and telling you. Says he is secure and confident. If you cannot see beauty unless you are in love with it. That's your hangup. If it makes you feel insecure. It is both of your faults not just his. Men don't cheat because there are beautiful women I the world they cheat because they are broken, or unhappy. What they see has nothing to do with it.

DanTheMan010 · Answer

I think it all depends on your comfortablity level and what you choose to tolerate. Personally I think it’s reasonable for him to be like oh nice bikini girl (sometimes) like it’s 1 person m, if it wasn’t social acceptable then all those magazines wouldn’t be out there. But again it’s really up to how you want to look at it. I don’t think you have to let this ruin a great thing but it can be a conversation. I will say on the other hand putting him on such a high pedestal can add a lot of pressure to his expectation too. Good for thought

Anonymous · Answer

I mean following Sydney Sweeney at all isn't really necessary, and people can see he follows her even if he doesn't like her pics. So I guess I'm saying why draw the line at liking?

Another important question, do you have any revealing pics at all on instagram, and have you had male friends like them?

KtownSlapps · Answer

As long as he isn't messaging them then I wouldn't trip on it hun. Most guys do that shit. Guys will be guys. It's taken me up into my 30's to realize that's one thing that will never change. If need be... make yourself feel a little better and go like some dick pics lol

soe11 · Answer

Nothing wrong at all if good intentions. My girlfriend and her mum allowed me to see and selects for them to perched.  Both mother and daughter got plenty of bikinis, both wear them at home and weekend go out to beach. Both love showing off.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Is your relationship so fragile that it can't survive him liking a picture?

It's perfectly fine! In fact, it's a compliment to you. He may like them but he loves you!

He's cuffed, not dead. You should however communicate your feelings to him because that's the foundation of a long-lasting relationship. I hope You both will come to a mutual agreeable compromise.

ophstar55 · Answer

Girl, I totally understand how you feel, it took me time to understand that guys will always find other girls hot or attractive. It’s normal, it’s actually healthy (otherwise he would be a weirdo), as long as he doesn’t cross the line.
What I do now is, I talk about my feelings, even when I’m jealous; if he’s a good guy he’ll comfort you and he will make you understand you’re the only girl that he loves.

katiesmuff · Answer

Like so many others with apparently no life outside your dumbass smart phones and all the useless social apps which is your biggest problem.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I never understand why women are never satisfied. You said yourself the everything is going great. The only problem i see here is you. Your snooping around invading his privacy now your panties are in a bunch cause you found something you don't like. If things are great like you said then just relax and enjoy your relationship and STOP snooping around before he finds out what your doing and dumps you. Cause invading someone privacy is a major red flag. Im sorry but I have to be honest😉

subwayperson · Answer

If you go on a beach with him will you make sure he is blindfolded so he can't see other women in bikini?
Will you also delete images from his mind of other women in bikini he might have seen on beach, other places before he met you?

QuickLady7 · Answer

I get why you don't like it. It's understandable. However, people are going to find other people attractive, even if you're in a relationship.

Have you never noticed a hot buff guy before? Even if you haven't liked any of his social media posts you probably have checked him out.

Maybe talk about it and tell him how you feel. However, don't go too crazy over it.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Unless he is actively liking girls pictures now.. I would keep it to yourself since you kind of sound like a stalking weirdo especially if the likes where from a long time ago.

talentedclock · Answer

I'd be upset if my girlfriend liked another dude's pictures of him in a swimsuit. So, yeah, I don't see why it wouldn't be the same the other way around.

HighValue · Answer

Question, do you post pictures of yourself online, especially any revealing ones or communicate with other guys? Also, why don't you both just have flip phones?

Apple1996 · Answer

I would be very upset over that. He's lusting over other women so it's considered mircocheating

MotherEarth2020 · Answer

Why, It's a click of button. It's not like he is sleeping with her. You're over thinking and being jealous over nothing

LeatherDame · Answer

I think maybe you’re being a bit controlling? It sounds more like you’re worried about how his actions will reflect on you than anything else.

BasedBaeBecca · Answer

I honestly think you have no need to bring any of it up. Let him like pictures on Instagram and let it go.

nawtee_me · Answer

Dating three years and you still don’t know if you can trust him…. It is just a picture unless it is your neighbor’s picture. Even then it is still a picture…. Relationships are based on trust you all won’t be together long like this….

Sabrina_Caleri · Answer

I would be upset buy i wouldn't consider It cheating. I dont like the idea of my boyfriend looking at other girls, but i think that every man does that, maybe we should Just give up and live with It. We can't monkey behaviour

Flower7 · Answer

Yes, you should be upset. He is flirting with other women.

Unit1 · Answer

You're acting like a little girl.

EmmaMary · Answer

REPORTED ... DUPLICATE .

David5668 · Answer

I’d say it depends on how secure you both are as a couple. My ex-wife would’ve taken me to task; but as my late dad used to say ‘Enjoy the window shopping but don’t go sampling the goods.’

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Your weirdo friends/family are going to stalk his activity and find out he's attracted to women? The horror lol

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Talk to him about your displeasure about his liking another girl's bikini picture, but remember he's a boy, and we boys LOVE to look at busty girls.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Internet is full of whores you can’t do nothing unless governed shut down the internet. Trump said that he would before he become the president but he didn’t

Staximus · Answer

You don't need to create a bunch of drama over something that's not a big deal. Get a hold of yourself.

pinconon · Answer

you have every right to be upset. this is just disrespectful

In_Trance · Answer

Calm tf down All people look. You do too.  You need to stay off his social media before you fuck everything up

Anonymous · Answer

You should leave him I'm sure someone older and more mature will come along for him This is how I date and it thins out many a liberal

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Do you do similar things? How many ex's are still in your phone? How many sneaky links?

dustybiker2 · Answer

If they aren't happy they wander.

Kelly6 · Answer

I don’t see anything wrong here

jshm2 · Answer

No. Don't be so insecure.

slatyb · Answer

No, you should grow the F up.

amritaa4 · Answer

Sounds like you're already upset.

Graptemys79 · Answer

Most men like attractive women in bikinis.

DtMe89 · Answer

If you're insecure

negrl4a69 · Answer

Not at all like it with him

Anonymous · Answer

Should he be upset about your mental fantasies?

Wise4myage · Answer

No that’s silly.

My boyfriend liked another woman’s bikini picture, should I be upset?

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During argument boyfriend liked picture of ex in bikini?

My boyfriend liked another woman’s bikini picture, should I be upset?

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During argument boyfriend liked picture of ex in bikini?

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