Would you be mad if someone you were talking to didn’t tell you they have a restraining order on their ex or were in an abusive relationship?

Question

If I ever date again I don’t want to tell them

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I've been in a few situations alright. One chick didn't tell me she was married and tricked me into getting confronted, another one was this dude that knew everything about me in a elevator and I had no fucking clue who he was. And I just got too many stories I could tell on this subject to really run down them all.

Most of the time it's some fucking guy that knows too much about me and I didn't know that guy even existed on this planet. I just find out after he's pissed about something like her seeing other people. How they get a run down of my life story or why the chick wants to let me smash and just not mention she has a crazy dude stalking her... I don't fucking know. My first girlfriend was this situation. She just handed me the phone and some gangster sounding dude was saying he was writing my name on his rag and it's not coming off until he kills me. I didn't know she had a man like that... I was just fucking her and then that shit came out of nowhere. Well, that fucker sucks at killing people that he writes down on his gangster bandana because I'm still here and I'm still clowning his ass about how I fucked his bitch. Yup, that's around the time that I actually started carrying guns to school. For people that don't think High School is fucking gangster... you went to gay school or something? I had to pack guns and knives like a pirate and shit. I was around 14 at that point... just life and shit at that point.

So anyways back to your question... yeah that shit's annoying. It's not like I'm going to say no to smashing that pussy, but I would like to know if I might run into a situation.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would t be mad that’s for sure. But if she has a restraining order against him that means he doesn’t respect boundaries. That means he could potentially show up while we’re out on a date, possibly treating both of us. So yes I’d like to know. I’d also like to know that she was in an abusive relationship so I can maneuver through this a little better. Maybe be a little more sensitive or delicate w her. But st the same time telling him could backfire because most people don’t want to deal w a person’s ex, especially if they’re crazy. But I think you’d be obligated to tell the person you’re dating so they’re not hit w a surprise should something come up.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

Nope. That's not my business until they choose to tell me or it involves me

debbiedenise · Accepted Answer

I would think they would need to know.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why is it that you wouldn't divulge that? Do you feel that you were partially to blame for the problems, or are you concerned that it might APPEAR as if you had been partially at fault? If the guy you were dating had a restraining order against him, wouldn't you want to know?

AviatorTom · Answer

If she didn't tell me about it, I most likely wouldn't know about it, so how could I be mad?

If I did find out about it, I wouldn't be mad. That's something she obviously doesn't want to share. If the relationship continues, and gets intimate, maybe she'll tell me about it. That decision is hers and hers alone.

ohsheeT · Answer

There's some things in life that are just better left alone and you don't need to tell everybody every part of your daily life I mean that's something that you have to deal with it by yourself and you don't need other people jumping in pointing fingers calling everybody bad names starting rumors it's just better left alone that you handle it yourself I think you're doing the right thing

Anonymous · Answer

There is absolutely no reason not to tell them. Guys are used to this kind of emotional baggage at your age. In fact, it will probably inspire the new guy to avoid stalking you or beating you up. Unless you're still a deceitful whore, which he'll just have to figure out on his own.

coolbreeze · Answer

That is tough to tell anybody when dating. I think it would take time trust to open up and tell that. Nobody deserves to go through that. Im sorry that happened...

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Not really but, I WOULD like to know as much I can about them. Not to be nosey or prying but, I care about those that I love and would like them to know that they can trust me. Also, what if this abuser, one day, tries to come back after her and I have no idea why he's doing this. If I knew, I'd stand a better chance of defending her and I'd know what I was dealing with.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Not mad, or upset about it because it's a weird thing to be so over. It's obviously a sensitive issue, though abuse leads to trauma and that shows in many ways.

To the point it's hard to be with someone if you don't understand them, and most of all Trauma that may led to triggers or etc behaviour that if I was in the know I could do my best to help her around. And if I don't know she's struggling by herself and could lead to misunderstandings.

nawtee_me · Answer

I would only want to know if the restraining order was against them. As for the one putting the restraining order on an ex, I would hope in time she would trust me enough to tell me. To me that is not a deal breaker. I understand the reasoning behind it.

HighValue · Answer

Statistics show that having a restraining order actually increases the likelihood of being a victim of violence.  I'd not be interested in anyone that had one because she is likely a false accuser.

jahaims · Answer

With holding pertinent information is the same as lying. Automatic break up.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Why not? What did you do to make your ex abusive towards you? 😏

conanbdetective · Answer

There's no need to bring it up right away but when the situation calls for it, there's no need to hide it.

bowenw · Answer

I wouldn't be mad, but I think I would like to know if there was a restraining order on an ex so I could be vigilant.

Wiredone · Answer

That's something I would want to know in case she was crazy or something

CubaPirate · Answer

Definitely not I'd be very supportive and pleased that she trusted me enough to share that information

Fireguy17 · Answer

yes, that would be a good question during the initial set of questions you ask or get asked. How do you and your ex get along...

Staximus · Answer

What is this "talking to" wishy washy bullshit?

Surely · Answer

If your ex was violent. With the chance that he might violate your PFA. It would be good to know if he should come back.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Fuck no why would I wanna know that? And if they did tell me I wouldn’t give a shit either way.

lightbulb27 · Answer

it be a problem...

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I won't be mad but I think you should tell them

msc545 · Answer

no. That is not my business.

TallAnon · Answer

Yeah, that seems quite relevant

Would you be mad if someone you were talking to didn’t tell you they have a restraining order on their ex or were in an abusive relationship?

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