Would you confront your ex boyfriend/girlfriend if this happened to you or would you just let it go?

[Sydneygirl91]

My boyfriend ended things with me through a text message then when I tried calling him, he said he will call me tomorrow I’m going to sleep in which he never did call me the next day. Just 2 days before he was telling me he misses and can’t wait to see me. All the while my mum was about to have surgery to remove cancer just a few days later and he knew I was worried about my mum and he still ends up being so cruel to me. I’m really struggling with this and I just feel so hurt. He was also playing mind games with me, he would say he still likes me then he would say he doesn’t know but then says he misses me. He also said we would meet up in person to talk about things but then later changes his mind. I’m honestly so sad and confused by how he has treated me. He was once so kind and respectful towards me and then he became cruel to me. Would you confront your ex in person or just let it go?

[quaranta]

I personally would try to confront him because he owes you some respect.
Granted, closing with someone is a right anyone has, but it can't come with 0 responsibility on the matter and on the person after spending a relationship together, and especially not after a very obvious reason like a long history of intense arguments. In my case (me personally for how I am), I would fight to make him take the responsibility of closing and facing me during that, my points and my legit questions which would deserve legit answers, not "ehh ahh busy work".
For sure he has his reasons for closing, maybe in the future he will elaborate that he was bored because of specific reasons related to you but unless you had constant arguments and crisis, and you can't pinpoint any specific reason, then regardless, he owes you respect and a space to talk to close decently.

On the other side, what you are telling about him depicts a person with no maturity or sense of responsibility in general. You don't give completely opposite signals in such a short time span, normally, plus not taking care of doing that, afterwards, with explanations. He is unpredictable and impulsive, doesn't control/understand what he wants or feels, doesn't perceive responsibility on what he says, doesn't perceive equity in mutual respect, and all this just makes him a very unreliable partner in general regardless from how well his relationships go (considering you're 30, I assume he is around your age, so I highly doubt he would change anytime soon about this). So you might not have lost a pearl, and you might learn a new requirement to check in a guy to be an eligible partner next time: great communication skills, especially during problems (which you can observe even when he argues with other people), and responsibility.

Consider, also, that his random push and pulls could be the result of getting attracted to other girls, or having a crush, or even a lover. You are the granted and stable option they crawl back to anytime their next target looks unavailable.

Either way try to not think it was your fault. For sure you might have handled some things better, or got better qualities, like everyone, but if he is generally not responsible for his own words and if he flirted with other girls (if), both cases imply that the problem is in himself, not in you, and that he would repeat a similar scenario with his next partners at some point anyway, no matter the qualities they bring on the table.

Now the next step is: when he will crawl back to you, do not accept him. He won't be changed for real, people with such traits don't magically swap their personality in a couple of weeks, but actually not even in a couple of years. Be intact and incorruptible in your path to recover from this experience, to let the time heal and make you better. He could insist harder, then you insist harder. You're 30 so don't waste your last decade of youth behind such characters, demand more.

[qupid911]

It’s not worth your peace of mind. Don’t even bother seeing him and focus on your mom. As hard as it is, try not contacting him. If he does message you to meet up, then go if you want. Clearly he’s not interested anymore

[Stevefiveo]

That sucks. Some men can't be men and tell you in person. Really sucks too when you needed him the most that he bailed. I hope that your Mom will be ok.

[es20490446e]

They are no mind games, he is simply indecisive.

Either they are in, or they are out.

[Wise4myage]

Let it go, but call him a coward to his face, if you can.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to my world. The woman I love is just as wishy washy and flakey as this. One minute I'm her boyfriend next her ex next her friend next her ex next her boyfriend she can't make up her mind what I am to her

[KrakenAttackin]

WHY was he so cruel? What started this?

[Sydneygirl91]

I literally did nothing to him. If I did something or hurt him anyway I would admit it. I even asked him do you even want to be with me because I was barely hearing from him and he said he did, he just said work is so busy right now. This is what he said, he could have been telling the truth, he could have been lying I don’t know but I will go off what he said. He had to go away for work. It was his birthday too and I asked him if we could video call. I had a cupcake and a candle so I could sing happy birthday to him. I was waiting for over 1 hour and I texted him then what was happening? His response was I’m having dinner with workmates, can we chat another time? No apology, nothing. He ended things with me because of the work excuse. I didn’t deserve the way he treated me. He showed me no respect or decency the way he ended things with me. I asked him if we could talk about things when he got back, he said we could and then he goes back on his word. He hurt me so much by the way he treated me.