Who pays for the first date these days?

Question

I know that times have changed regarding dating customs. Sometimes, some women will ask men out. My question is these days who pays for the first date? Has this changed?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I used to be of the mindset that men should do it. But growing up for me born in ‘78, women just seemed of better quality. That’s not to say that all women these days are garbage. But I didn’t see a lot of what goes on today as far as a lot of women acting the way they do. As men we’ve always had some shitheads since the beginning of time, that’s nothing new. But now women are getting just as bad as men but still expecting the same treatment when many of them have lost respect for men. These days there’s a lot of women who are dating multiple men, which equates to maybe thousands of dollars in free meals for her. I don’t think men not wanting to pay for a first date determines whether he’s masculine or not. Men these days are just wising up, getting tired of being used. That’s like me saying women who don’t know how to cook aren’t feminine. I know a lot of women don’t know how to cook. I’m going w whoever ask should pay, unless they decide otherwise. Women say they want to make sure a man is serious so they won’t sleep w a man for at least 66 dates or whatever the number is. But they won’t be happy w a man telling them I’m not paying for the first 6 dates till I know you’re serious about us. Men have changed overtime. We tend to change according to women as far as what they want. So when women started telling men we don’t need you’ll, don’t talk to me. I’m a bad bitch, boss bitch independent women. Guess what? Men listened. Now women don’t like it. But it’s still men’s faults. If we’re seeking equality then both sides have to pay in all things in life, not just dates.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Nothing has changed for my generation. The guy always pays for the date.

Gwendoline · Accepted Answer

If you ask me on a date for dinner or for a coffee, for lazer tag, to the movies then you the man are paying because you asked me. If I had asked to take my husband to dinner on our first date I would have paid.

There's too much pressure on dating and women are their own worst enemies. So many women expect to be taken to a fancy restaurant or something on a first date with $300 minimum spent on food and drinks alone. Really a first date is about meeting each other and getting to know each other. It could be a simple cup of coffee or a walk in the park or going to the fair. Dating should be fun as well and enjoyable and varied.

I was talking to a friend who is 30 and she's talking about how dating was more fun in her teens and how she wished she could have that feeling back. I said to her of course it was more fun because all you do now on your dates is go to a fancy restaurant or a club with significant money spent by him on you and you on hair/make up/nails but you should emmluate what you did in your youth. Go to new exciting places like my husband took me on a date to stuff like a monster truck rally, medieval times, nascar, sportsball games, fairs, theme parks, museums, spas, lazer tag, hiking, plays, shows. Stuff he likes to see and stuff he thought I might like, some of it bores me to death like sportsball. Our first date was meeting at mass and a cup of coffee in the church hall after mass and a walk around the park and river front after with deep meaningfulconversation, it costs nothing.

Sirenboobzilla · Accepted Answer

I always made it a habit to pay my share on a date. Part of it is not wanting to have someone pay so much when I rack up a big bill (I'm skinny, but I can EAT and DRINK plenty!). Other part is that, especially on the 1st date, I don't want there to be the expectation that his covering the date buys his way to get lucky.

Summeroflove · Answer

It depends but NOBODY is entitled it’s okay to know what you’re looking for and decide if you’re wanting to go on another date. By all means don’t waste your time or the time or someone else if it’s not meant to be.

But nobody is entitled to anything and people who get angry with me are getting angry because the kind of people they want probably don’t want them in return.

If you can’t afford to go somewhere… Then ask if they are willing to pay in advance then decide if you’re wanting to go. You’re entitled to your standards nobody is entitled to you. But you’re also not entitled to anyone either or a free date. Bring enough to pay for your half if he offers to pay and you let him okay.

AviatorTom · Answer

In most cases, the man pays, though tradition is that the person asking does the paying. Sometimes, the bill is split. Bottom line... work out who pays before the bill arrives, to avoid a potentially difficult discussion.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Women have to pay. You know how some quasi-feminists justify treating men like shit now because of the past? Well, I'm just doing the same thing. See, men have been paying for first dates for too long. No more and fuck that shit. She has to pay for my meal and for my VIP special massage or hooker at the end of the night unless she's going to do that for me too. She also has to pick me up and drive me to the weed store. Why? Because of the 100's of years of female oppression!

Jokes aside...

Fuck dates. Dates are fucking outdated. That's the shit my Great Grandparents did when they weren't living on Hotdogs and potatoes during the great depression. We know what we want... and it's called Netflix and chill. It's time to just Netflix and chill with no condom on.

I just got this from Amazon and I want to show it to you.

Iquestioneverything · Answer

Split it.
Option “whoever asks” isn’t a fair one because most women then expect the man to do that, thus forcing him to pay. I asked my husband (then boyfriend) out first and we split the bill. Our relationship isn’t about money. There is so much he does for me that doesn’t cost a cent, like massages, helping around the house, surprising me going out somewhere, running errands, etc… once you are married it’s always “us” not just one person doing everything. Which is why nobody should only be paying for dates and not the other.

adventurous-1 · Answer

I believe that dating is dynamic and cost is negotiable, if its the first time then who ever asked is obligated to pay, now many times the man will cover the cost if its not to extravagant and reasonable. I'm not going to spend a hundred dollars just to find out I don't care for the person I'm out with. Sometimes the lady will pay, depends on the person. But to expect an expensive meal on a first date where you are just getting to know each other is not realistic. A friendly meet and greet at a coffee shop or corner diner is fine for a first meeting. If that's not good enough then you're not not interested in a relationship but in the other persons wallet and free food. You're only there for your own selfish reasons and what you can get out of the date. Your not the least bit sincere in your intensions for an actual date or really interested in getting to know the other person. A good reason for keeping the first date low cost.

Roldrake · Answer

What I do is tell her I 'forgot my wallet" and ask her to pay, telling her I'll Zelle her back plus a little more for the inconvenience. Then I go home and block they number and DON'T Zelle them ha. Works every time and free meal for me! (PS always make sure you do this at some expensive restaurant so you get a real fine meal paid for.) Oh and use a fake name on the date :)

caitycat21 · Answer

For me - the man pays. I don’t understand splitting the bills, if a man is dating me in my mind I’m personally dating to marry so I’m looking for qualities in him that I’d want in a future husband. I’d want to marry a man who takes care of me - dates don’t always even have to be so expensive. If he puts the time and effort into planning something nice that also tells you a lot. At least that’s my thoughts

Apple1996 · Answer

Men should pay. Its litterally them showing if they are masculine or not. If they expect a woman to pay her half then he's in his feminine era and not worth wasting time on

molonski2 · Answer

Im old fashioned , I certainly pay and would not consider splitting , I've asked her.. Obviously I should pay.

Now , maybe if they are both young with little money , that might be split , but can only answer in my case , and I'm paying for certain.

NathanDavis · Answer

the restaurant... because they're tired of people taking too much time arguing about this, so they just pay it for you to leave...

incorrected · Answer

Did you mean "who does" or "who should". I can't help thinking people will get confused about that one when they vote. I voted based on who does in practice, based on my experiences (man), but if voting on who should I'd go with whoever does the asking.

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

I pay if it's planned.

Impromptu spending on a date that I didn't budget for and was expecting it to be free (Spending time together, type of date) Well... I either sacrifice my personal enjoyment for hers. Or She just gotta be a responsible human like everyone else.

itsannalee · Answer

Well, i’m such a traditional woman. My man always pays from the first until now for everything. He never let me to pay, always ended up fighting when i tried.

slickrick6600 · Answer

Man always pays this shouldn’t even be a thing. At the very most if she wants leave the tip she can but I’d never let her do that. Bottom line is real men take care of their lady and pay

Kelley1 · Answer

Most first dates such as a dinner or club are inexpensive so the guy always pays. If it was an expensive date when sex was not expected such as traveling to a New Year's bowl game, sharing expenses may be appropriate.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

As far as I know, the man always pays unless the woman insists she pay or at least split it with him.

Purpleronnie · Answer

My rule would be whomever asks who on the date should pay for it , just seems like the appropriate thing to do. however if the other doesn’t want to feel indebted or whatever then they could offer to pay for half or their share of the bill.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I always offered to pay. But then my forst date of choice was a coffee or quick drink. You learn a lot in an hour, whether it worth going on a second date. I never had any problems paying for dates. If she ever wanted to split or pay I wouldn't cause a fuss. Not something I see worth arguing about

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Whoever loses 40% of his paycheck on lawyers for family court and separation

oldpigg · Answer

I'm not willing to spend a single cent on a woman.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

The man does or I won't be seeing him again lol

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I don't think there's a blanket rule, I think it goes down to the individual. I want marriage and children on one income in the future (mine) so I pay but the notion that it's expected or has to be this way for men is no longer the standard.

Unit1 · Answer

I must vet out the gold diggers. We're splitting. For now.

CassandraSpender · Answer

If he doesn't pay for the date there's no nookie after, and definitely not a second date

CindyRuns · Answer

As I see it.. . no hard and fast rule one way or the other !!!

Anonymous · Answer

After dealing with a guy who felt paying entitled him to sex afterward, I insisted on splitting it after that. But I think I'm safe from ever going on a first date ever again luckily.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Whoever does the asking should pay. If you can't afford to pay, don't ask.

SleepingHazard · Answer

I have not once gone on a date where the boy didn't pay, even when I offered. My ex was far from happy whenever I offered to pay, since it made him feel like I doubted his ability to provide.

DrPepper12 · Answer

A first date should be so casual that it's irrelevant but the asker should offer to pay

Yannae · Answer

If you invite, you pay. That is my rule and it worked well.

John_Cobretti · Answer

Men pays. Hope the woman is traditional too.

JesseP1nk · Answer

Pff this question again. Ofcourse women say "men have to pay because we are so special" and when we ask what makes you special then they dont know.

I say when man have to pay then woman needs to return the favour too.

Anonymous · Answer

If a woman doesn't offer to pay half on the first date, she won't get a second one.

Connie88 · Answer

I have no problem paying especially if I ask them out. I grew up with asker pays.

Ifdyourmom · Answer

The man pays, HOWEVER, the woman should at least offer to, that way it doesn't look like she's just some greedy ingrate

Anonymous · Answer

Out of respect for all that women have given us over the last 250 years, such as feminism and equal rights and equal pay, I make sure my date pays for my meal as a way to stick it to the patriarchy.

Knightwatch27 · Answer

The man does, if the man sees the woman is worth that effort.

Marathonmama · Answer

It’s whoever does the asking

Jerre · Answer

I always pay when I date.

Tmucciolo · Answer

One pays the bill and the other pays the tip

LiamJHayden · Answer

Whoever asks should be willing to pay.

strateguy632 · Answer

Both Pay on their own, not split!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I'll pay. It's not a big deal.

ariadneR · Answer

Whoever asked for the date.

Anonymous · Answer

I'll always pay

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

You're 42 years old. You've never gone on a date?

NicholasRedone · Answer

Split 🍌🪓🍞

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Guys pay

Crazzyyworld · Answer

men who like the control

shortster · Answer

I do.

Cassandra2003 · Answer

The Asker.

Who pays for the first date these days?

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