Do you think you'll ever find love?

[Dnice1]

For those of you that are single, do you think you'll ever find love? I swear sometimes it feels like I never will then I go and get lonely. I sometimes lay in bed looking at the ceiling wondering will I find love one day. For me it seems like I only attract guys that are out of reach. I need a guy from my state with long distance not being my thing. I know it sometimes happens when you're not looking for love. I'm still young and it may happen one day but man when I feel lonely it seems to hit me hard, real hard.

[SteveSmith1985]

I hope so. But I worry that's less and less likely. I refuse to give up hope. I've been in love, in a different lifetime. It is something worth holding out hope for. I feel exactly like you do. Often. But hang in there. The thing is, nobody ever knows they're going to meet the right person. You never know what life has around the next corner.

I got a great first-hand illustration of this (although I believed it long before)

I had a very good friend I met on here years and years ago, and we went off GAG and would talk all the time.

She was all about finding love, and I was there for the process. She was a bit older than you were, and was very much worried about the biological clock thing. Plus (she was Christian, and her church friends were her peers. They get married young, so she felt like she was even more behind in finding love)

So, we would chat all the time about the guy she was dating, go through the whole nitty-gritty analyzing everything about... what everything meant, what he was probably thinking, what she should do in minute detail. We chatted almost daily for a few years.

She was a catch. She was just a really great girl. It bothered me that she was having so much trouble... because she was just an excellent catch in so many ways. She was an excellent person too.

So... she was looking HARD for love. I saw all the hopes and prospects, all the ins-and-outs of dating a few times, and analyzing her conversations in between. There is nobody I"ve known who felt more pressure to find love.

She wasn't looking to settle. She absolutely wanted it the be the right guy, not just a guy who would be ok to marry. She wanted true love, but she wanted it... REALLY SOON.

Because of the biological clock worries, and the fact that it's important to her to be married before having children... she wanted true love... that wasn't fucking around.

She had a goal of being married within the next few years (3 years max)

So when things didn't work out with a guy I was there for the frustration, disappointment, and feeling hopeless. I was there for all the guys she talked to a few times that went nowhere. Several rounds of guys she went on a few dates with... none of them were shitty guys, but they weren't right and it fizzled out. There was one guy, who both of us thought was quite promising that she was with for a few months, but... again, it just didn't work out. This was extremely stressful for her (as I think you can imagine... just add Christian community and needing the guy you find to be ready to get engaged... fucking quick.

There was some guy who was her mom's friend's son or something that someone tried to set her up with. She was not down with meeting someone in a set-up situation, and was super negative (in terms of Why would I want to go on a set-up date, rather than "it'll never happen for me")

I can't remember exactly where what happened. But I know she ended up meeting him, (she might even have gone on the setup date, or it might have been that she talked to him a bit in a social situation)

I remember she met him, wasn't overly into him. SHe was quite indifferent. After not too long they ended up somewhere at the same time, really had a great conversation, and...

He ended up being "the one." It was so awesome to see. I'm always overprotective of my female friends when it comes to guys and making sure the guy's actually a good guy. I'm always listening for any potential little sign that some guy might not be 100% a good guy

[SteveSmith1985]

I could tell right away that this was the right guy. So could she. It just clicked. It was... obvious. There wasn't any of the bullshit for me to interpret. They just vibe, there was no need for me to have any fear that this guy wouldn't treat her right. I knew he was a good guy very quickly too. They got engaged not too long after, she was married within her timeframe, and had a baby (which was something critical to her vision of the future). I kinda purposefully dropped out of Beth's life as her relationship was relatively new.

We were too close, talked too often, and it just wouldn't have been right to maintain anything like regular contact with her. Once I knew he was the one, and that she was going to be happy with him... I let contact drop as she enjoyed; the relationship and later marriage she had wanted soooo badly, and was becoming soooo disillusioned about actually finding.

It didn't come from all her hard work and "getting out there" and dating. I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't. You should. I'm saying it came from somewhere unexpected. It was an unforeseen, random guy, who she didn't even immediately have an interest in (it was the second meeting and actually having a real conversation and getting to know each other bit. I'm just saying, she didn't even know she had already met "the one" for her the first time they met.

I try and remind myself how hopeless things seemed for Beth right up until the day the sky opened up and her world changed. The day before that day... she was as hopeless as can be. She had no idea it was going to happen that day, until it happened. I call those life's corners.

Hang in there. You never know when you get to life's corners. You can't see that it's a corner until you get to it.



P. S

haha, I need to thank you for reminding me of something that made me smile But, also might possibly be helpful to you (depends on your situation, and how you're trying to meet people).

[SteveSmith1985]

So, I would get frustrated that it wasn't happening for her either. It frustrated me too. Tt didn't make sense to me.

She was clearly a catch in every way, and the better I got to know her... I just uncovered more reasons she was a catch. She was also pretty. She wasn't crazy pretty. But she was a nice looking girl.

I helped her make THE best dating profile I have ever seen. We basically had a very very long conversation about:

-why I thought she was a catch,

-what she was looking for exactly,

-what kinds of values she had,

-what was important to her,

-what sort of person I thought she was.

what she thought life was all about

why she enjoyed her career (she was a fancy nurse-boss who also did front-line work with cancer patients, but had a bunch of other nurses under her, but she was truly a nurse at heart)

what future she was looking for, what kind of person she is, etc etc.

She tried to distill down the best parts into something of a coherent profile. It was freaking amazing when she showed me what she ended up with.

It was super long (maybe not as long as this, but crazy long compared to most dating profiles). But

[SteveSmith1985]

it was GOOD. It was the best dating profile I've ever seen by a mile.

I didn't suggest it, but she also posted (I'm guessing) 60 or 80 pictures. A stupidly-high number of pictures. Just pictures of her and her family and friends (with smiley faces covering other people).

They weren't all good pictures of her either. They were clearly not an attempt to show someone always at their best. There were morning-camping-pictures; along with pictures of her at family functions, at the beach, looking hot and looking not as hot. It was incredible. It left no question of "what does this girl look like, I mean actually... if you were to go along in life with her.

I was blown away. My jaw dropped. It was the best dating profile I've ever seen. If I came across that dating profile (not that I'm online dating, but let's imagine) HOLY SHIT I would have been getting in touch with that girl for sure.

Both because of what was in the profile, but also... for the photos thing. Who posts 80 pictures in the photos on a dating site. Honestly, she was not the type of person to be that bold with something like that. I was shocked when I saw that, but super impressed. I think she did it out of frustration.

It's like she just threw herself out there and put it ALL out there (which, in a way was the goal. To give the world an idea of what she was all about--since I kept insisting she was was such an amazing catch).

You got to know a whole fucking lot about her from that profile. You got a thorough picture of what she was all about. It was real shit. Every line in that long profile was something important about her I had always been frustrated because guys couldn't see what kept telling her any guy would be lucky to have (but they didn't know her well, so didn't see what a catch she truly was... there are lots of guys who would see her as a catch.

[SteveSmith1985]

Mind you. This was right before she met her husband, so we didn't ever actually test this amazing better than I could have imagined any dating profile..."best dating profile ever."

But I was SO impressed. She did such a good job of capturing all of the great stuff about her, what kind of person she was... and essentially did an incredible job of showing that off. It did a great job of letting people see her thoroughly.

I knew that anyone who knew her well like I did; would think she was a catch. Especially the kind of guy she was looking for. THAT guy was looking for her too.

So, do you have any male friends who know you really well, and are willing to talk to you for a very long time all about you? You distill it down into a lengthy dating profile? Just ask them to talk for a while about why you're a catch. 😐

(😉)

I'm kidding. That's not the lesson. The lesson is the same reason I write extremely long replies, that are rambling with punctuation that plays by no rules (and can be hard to parse-out sometimes, I'm sure).

When I came on GAG, I was frustrated by the fact that I'm just "some other user" on the internet, and for all you know I'm a douchbag idiot guy of any or every stripe.

I wanted people to see "ME" not (a guy, undifferentiated from the next guy) because I'm not just some guy. I'm me. In life, you get a good sense of who I am, because I'm a pretty friendly talkative guy. I get along great with most people.

I decided the solution, was to type exactly like I would speak it out loud. It's also not any more planned out than an actual spoken conversation.

[SteveSmith1985]

I swear (this is absolutely true)

. Many of my Answers are super long, but not always (just like speaking to people in real life).

I was originally going to write like one or two lines. I was going to say something really fast. and move on. Then I remembered that I use my friend's situation to keep hope up myself. Then... this message became a thousand words. I didn't know how long it would be to tell the story. I just typed the words that would come out if you were in front of me.

**(haha, i just realized this second that's while what I just said is totally true, it would only be if you were to politely listen without interruption... until I ran out of stuff to say or felt like wrapping it up.

which is hilarious... and suddenly makes me question the point I'm building to in what I believe is known in political circles as "the Weave"

(you either have no idea what I'm referencing, or you just laughed really hard. (unless you're dead inside))**

But it's the same idea behind my decision to write as I speak and the reason the dating profile was over-the-top amazing.

I write as I speak to give people a picture of me, and how I am. (because It's always worked great for me in my real life). It was an attempt to translate that onto the internet. To let people get an actual sense of what kind of guy I am.

[SteveSmith1985]

The profile was way longer than any I've ever seen by a lot, because it included so much. It was a great picture of the WHOLE person, and what they were all about. It's letting people see who you are through sheer volume.

That's literally what it is. It's the idea that... online in particular... you just don't see much about people when there isn't much shown.

If I had ended with the couple of lines. That would have told you, and everyone reading this that I was somebody who also hoped to find love, lost hope sometimes too, and that's all. (Which there's nothing wrong with).

But then I had more to say. Similarily, I was originally going to just say "thanks for making me remember this INCREDIBE profile I helped her cobble together. And give you as little as possible to explain why it was so cool.

[SteveSmith1985]

THEN I thought wait...

Actually, maybe either you or somebody reading this can benefit from what I just re-remembered was the key to that profile being awesome, and also the reason this message is getting longer and longer.

Volume. Mask off. Throw yourself out there so people don't miss what makes you different from the other girls. The guy you're looking for (or the guy who is single and looking for the same thing you are) is looking for you too. Make sure he can see you.

And... there's one key thing. You can't give a shit if somebody might thinks you're a weirdo for putting 80- pictures on a dating profile, or writing a rambling 2500 word answer.

You have to trust that WHAT people see when you put a lot of yourself out there will be what carries through.

So It's weird to write an answer this long. People might think it's weird, you might very well think it's weird. That doesn't bother me. Anybody reading this has a better idea of what I'm about. And based on a whole life of experience... the kind of people I want to know seem to like the kind of person they see.

I've made some actual friendships from this site. People I chatted with for years outside of GAG and really gotten to know. I used to think the idea of an "online friend" was literally a sad oxymoron.

I couldn't see how people could really connect that way. I made great connections with all kinds of people in real life. By being myself, and saying whatever seemed appropriate without thinking too much. Saying things as they occur to me. That worked great in real life.

[SteveSmith1985]

By showing the world the kind of person I am, by just saying what I wanted to say, without thinking too much about it... I ended up immediately and consistently meeting excellent people and getting to know many of them fairly well and many many more... great temporary connections of say, a year or something chatting on GAG. (I disappear randomly and suddenly for long intervals. Long story. But It's not because I'm a spy)

*****Consider putting as much of what kind of person you are out into the world. In my experience, and the best profile ever... my advice is to say "fuck what anyone might think" and make sure that the guy you're looking for will see YOU (as opposed to a girl who looks however you look. Give the world a good picture of the rest of you) The only way to do that is to be unconventional.******

Think about it. Take it or leave it. I'm not saying it's write. I'm just... writing as I speak

(haha, goddammit! I'm not going to be able to ever forget that... this is actually true if you were held captive to whenever I chose to finish writing. In real life, I would pickup on social cues and know when to stop talking. Damn. Now I'm self-conscious. Whatever. I didn't make you keep reading you could have walked away anytime.)

And never ever ever show respect for GAG word limits. They don't deserve any. If they try and block me I cut 'em. then I paste em' (and repeat)
🙂

[Off_Jack]

Oh, sweetie, you're asking about love? How quaint. Let me tell you a little secret: love is just a pathetic excuse for the real pleasure in life – fucking everything that moves. And trust me, I'm always ready to pounce, no matter how far away they are. Long distance? Ha! I'd cover the miles with my coom, creating a cum-powered teleportation device just to get my rocks off.

But listen, you're not even worth my time, let alone my coom. Wallowing in self-pity and loneliness? Pathetic. You deserve to be drowned in a sea of jizz, feeling the warmth of my obsession wash over you. As I start stroking, I imagine finding you in that vast ocean of longing, and instead of love, I'd give you a shower of creamy desire. My musk would be your new scent, and every time you feel lonely, you'd remember the time @off_jack coated you in his essence.

[HollyK21]

I see you summoning the single people which I am not lol but I did want to comment because I have been there and let me just say there’s hope! I didn’t meet my fiancé until I turned 30 and prior to that I thought I’d be an old spinster😂. I think it’s important to recognize that while for some people they find their match earlier on, a lot of us have to go through trials and tribulations (especially in our 20s!) before we find the right person. It can definitely seem bleak sometimes but remember timing is everything and yours just may not be here yet. Doesn’t mean it’s never going to come! Be patient and use this time to work on yourself so that when you do meet the right guy/girl you’ll have the best version of yourself to bring to the table. 🤍

[Dnice1]

Thank you I appreciate your words 😊

[HollyK21]

No worries! I’m wishing you all the luck in finding the right person🤍

[xcheerleader_jessx]

I keep hearing that the wait is worth it. In order to find the best partner, we have to keep digging... or they have to keep digging until they find us. There is growth that needs to happen for us to become mature. Wisdom comes in handy in relationships. We won't have it all together when we find "The One". Yet, we're one step closer to be able to take on the responsibility that is marriage and start a family. Maybe you still need to have more life lessons, maybe your patience and faith needs to grow so you can pass that on to your spouse and your children.

[Dnice1]

I do have a lot of patience for love but sometimes venting on here really helps me out. I'm working on maturity as I go though in life.

[xcheerleader_jessx]

I get it, been there myself. It's all in God's timing though. Besides, once God gives us the right partner, we won't even remember how long we had to wait. Or if we do, it'll be all but a beautiful memory. Then you can pass this memory down to your children and relate with them when they go through the same thing <3

[ohsheeT]

I believe some day I will find it or it will find me

[DishLady]

It's sort of a roll of the dice...

[lgh1998]

Everyone is capable of finding love! There's someone for everyone. It may just take time but it will happen! Obvs if you stay inside all the time, don't work and don't ever socialise with anyone at all it makes it much harder but your like me... I think it takes someone to get to know you and when that happens they see that your actually a cool person! So work on just meeting people ❤️

[Dnice1]

I'll try to, thanks for the advice 😊

[Sunrising]

I'm always busy and meeting people, and doing things, so lonliness isn't a problem. If something bad happens, being on my own is difficult, but I make a bigger effort to go out and do interesting things, and after a few days I'm back to normal.

I'm sure I'll meet that special person some day !

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ve been in love before. It’s an amazing feeling. You can’t ever force it, but let it happen and treasure it. God blesses us all at points in our lives.

[Dnice1]

Agreed 😊

[HighValue]

Women are such low quality immoral people these days, it is pretty pointless to even try. Being on here has negatively affected my view of women more than it already was due to so many being low quality and immoral, just like many that I have met in real life.

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym low quality and immoral?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Love is in front of us every single day. People that can't find it simply reject it the most.

[sawno]

I found the truest love before but we could not make it work in time to sustain it. I am hopeful ill find love like that again or that new opportunities arise with my previous lover if we are single and both ready at the time.

[Bkay123]

I don’t think I’ll ever get to experience it. I’m 34 and only dated one girl. I was always shy growing up. I don’t get much looks from the opposite sex either. I tried dating sites and they are horrible.

[IslaTheWitch]

not that I look for it, but sooner or later, it will happen... again :D

[NoDecision]

You just never know about these things.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/0ChGZRj2dLU

[Nikki1989]

I have been in love for 14 years and have found love a few times before that, and if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

[bowenw]

I think many single people think exactly the same way. Like you say, love seems to have a way of finding us when we least expect it, but do whatever you can to get out to meet new people.

[RedThread]

I think I will someday though it isn't a major priority in my life. I have good friends and family and anything beyond that feels like a bonus to me.

[Phoenix98]

*shrugs* Who knows if someone will come around who will feel that way about me, time will tell.

[NathanDavis]

same as before... it will come around again, yes

[beenherebefore]

I've already found. It takes time but the wait is worth it.

[Redstang88]

I’ve found it, hanging on is the problem. That I doubt will happen, not with the way people treat each other now

[Anonymous]

Not likely. I don't even stress about it anymore. You have to remember you're only 50% of the recipe. It doesn't matter what you think or feel if you're only half.

My advice to you is enjoy life and stop worrying about it.

[faith_it]

I'm confident someday I will. By confident I mean through Jesus help 🙏

[elizamichale1]

Well thankfully I have found it n i m very happy with it

[exitseven]

I already found it. It was not a seamless process.

[DrPepper12]

You all will or you all will find lust which isn't bad either...

[Jersey2]

Play video games or D&D, you will find guys. :D

[Jersey2]

Women used to pretend to like things like sports, they would play golf, go to baseball games, or go camping and boating… once married that would drift off and then they didn’t do it much at all but had a family, children and home.

[Darkchild25]

Thought I had a couple of times. I don't think i will anymore. I might be the problem.🤷🏾‍♂️

[KostasKouvalis]

NOPE. I'm destined to be single. I guess my family name will die with ME

[Anonymous]

No. I gave up. After being cheated on 3 times in a row and the last one being engaged and never telling me I don't care anymore. I've realized only rich a holes get the girls, women like abuse, and they only want money and a free ride through life. You're not worth my time. I hope you get abused and I don't care if you do. Parasites.

[HawkPerception]

Unsure. But I sure hope I do.

[TamYumGung]

Are you familiar with the law of least effort?

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, but I’m kind of a squish and fall in love easily

[PaleDale]

It's easy to feel discouraged but I think I'll find it

[Bklynbadboy12]

Of course you'll find love your and amazing person you just have to stop limiting yourself

[Professor-college]

Sure it's just a matter of being patient and observant

[Sonorous]

Oh geez I hope not

[YourExLover69]

Probably no..

[NewestOdium]

I have. I think you will too

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

No I dont seek love it would be a waste of my time

[RossyBoi]

No. I don't think I need to find love.

[Wayneg89]

Starting to seem unlikely.

[Smellygymsocks]

Good to know...

[Eempriyanka]

I've got a crush on my fiance 🙂

[Manuelwe]

Yes but when it happens it happens

[Anonymous]

Had it, lost it for this turn on the game of life

[Anonymous]

I have no idea :(

[Valdemort]

We'll see.

[theskyrider]

I don't think I ever will find Love

[Chargirllll]

Hopefully

[Alexa6]

I’m sure it happen sooner or later.

[Teriyaki70]

No 😭😭😭

[LunarEclipse433]

Probably not

[Smf1989]

Probably not

[JDLives]

Remember me?

[Dnice1]

Give me a clue?

[JDLives]

My user name gives it away

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah no

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Love don't exist