Why do some people get into relationships with very jealous insecure people?

[Finchie40]

I ran into a old female friend / co worker of mine that we always had a great friendship , no sex or no hooking up with each other whatsoever, we were just work buddies and friends’ and we are still friends’ on social media , I ran into her at the store and I immediately said Hi to her and asked her how she was doing , she had a look of fear on her face and I immediately asked her what’s wrong , not realizing she was with her new boyfriend, I looked at him and said it’s nice to meet you , and put my hand out to shake his , but he completely declined my hand shake , he was looking at me like he wanted to fight me , I immediately said I use to work with your girlfriend. He just nodded his head like he was this bad ass , I was kind of laughing thinking. Dude I would drop you in 2 seconds , but I politely said well it was nice seeing you and walked away. Later that evening she wrote to me and apologized for his behavior, I said it’s fine but why are you dating a guy like that , that is that insecure? She said she doesn’t know and she said she is more Than likely going to leave him over it , I said ummm ok , why aren’t you dumping his ass now? She kept making excuses that he was nice to her and he does this and does that for her. So I said it’s your life and your choice but sorry to see you fell for a controlling insecure guy , I hope it works out well for you. And just shook my head. Why do people get into relationships with people like that? What possesses someone to look past the controlling and insecurities in that person?

[NathanDavis]

I never been with a VERY jealous and insecure person, and I would never do that either but... I was in a relationship with someone that was a little bit jelly and insecure at the time being

it was something very mild, and also something rooted in previous bad, really bad experiences that had nothing to do with me really...

because it was just a little of it, we were able to work on it and before a month had passed it was pretty much resolved and it didn't happen again

so maybe... maybe some people do think that these things can also workout with people are VERY jealous and it just never does, or I never heard of it working out well, lol

[Finchie40]

Yea most jealous insecure possessive people are the ones that are more than likely to cheat on their partner because they have a hard time trusting their partner period , it’s one thing to be a little jealous and insecure at times but being overly jealous and insecure is a Big Red Flag , I don’t u sweat and why people look past this like it’s no big deal , if a girl is trying to control me and doesn’t trust me whatsoever, she isn’t going to be my girlfriend anymore period. I already experienced that shit with one of my psych ex girlfriends’ that kept tabs on me everywhere I went without her , I finally had words wirh her and told her this shit
Needs to stop or I am no longer
Going to be with you , the girl went nuts
And started chasing me with a knife , and I had her arrested, that was the end of that crazy bitch lol.

[ProbablyClueless]

Lack of a better option, usually.

Sometimes the jealous behavior ramps up once you start dating the person too. Stuff that's hidden at first gets expressed once the relationship becomes official.

I can't tell you the number of times I've seen and heard of women behaving one way leading up to a relationship, and then they do a total 180 once they go official.

[Screenwriter]

Clearly she is insecure too.

Often, people meet up with the perfect yins for their yangs. Dysfunctional twins. He's insecure and jealous, she's insecure and unsure that she'll ever find anyone better, so she puts up with outrageously inappropriate behavior on his part.

If she's your age there's little hope for her life to improve unless she gets some serious therapeutic help. All. you can do is encourage her.

[itsannalee]

Now i’m with a guy who is jealous person.
I don’t even understand why he is being so jealous, i mean there is nothing to be insecure about him.
Like everyone around me knows, I won’t take an angus steak when i already got wagyu A5 on my plate. But so far he is not controlling, so it doesn’t really bother me.

[PeachyPie93]

Lots of times its because you don't know the person you are dating is like that until later on.. So once love is involved it is a lot harder to walk away from them when you have such strong feelings for them. It's the same as woman in abusive relationships once they are in love its harder for them to walk away.. Tho a guy hitting you should be enough to know he doesn't actually love you, they act stupid and believe his apologies..

[NicholasRedone]

@Finchie40 usually people who lack imagination, settle for less, or lack striving for more out of life without ambitious career climbing or without lacking a belief there could be more to this world :) to build towards

[chrissykerdock]

you don't know what your getting into at the start

[sage2021]

I've never been in a relationship with someone like that nor would I ever be in one with someone like that.

[MrChinaski]

Spousal abuse is a terrible thing. You should try to keep in touch discreetly in case she needs you one day.

[Finchie40]

Yea I told her I am here for her and told her to come to me any time if things get out of hand.

[Jove79]

I don’t think you should tell her why isn’t she dumping him asap.. unless you like her. She can dump him if she wants, she can stay with him if she wants..

[Anonymous]

Maybe they don't know at first that their partner is jealous.

[DryGermanGuy]

The infamous rose-tinted glasses obscure the recognition of the red flags… 🤷‍♂️

[exitseven]

Maybe the person is hot and he is thinking with the little head,

[Staximus]

I hate hard asses. I never act like a hard ass, even though I could have basically kicked 99.9999% of world's asses when I was in shape.

[Donalnichualla]

They likely have overlapping traits... I don't know how they overcome the negative ones they share though

[Jay-_-]

Jealous and insecure is two different things, get it right.

[oldpigg]

They are easy to manipulate.

[jahaims]

Most humans are stupid

[bralesswonder]

I was once told I needed to be more jealous