Male friends with relationships?

[Kinky_Slutt]

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here bc people telling me to just break up with my boyfriend which I won’t do. But i need advice. I haven’t had friends since like middle school. I’m 18 now and turned to making friends online. I made one friend who I genuinely see the friendship working long term but my boyfriend absolutely hates it. He’s a boy so I’m assuming what’s why as he didn’t say anything and me talking with girls online but those unfortunately didn’t amount to anything. A few weeks after the friend Robert and I spoke he invited me out. I did decline but was really excited as it’s been years since I felt like someone wanted to be friends with me. My boyfriend said it was sketchy for him to be inviting me out so soon. After waiting to make him comfortable we finally made plans to hang out which I told my boyfriend about. They did fall through but my boyfriend was cold to me the whole day. And said he hates him that he can’t express it to me bc then he’d be hating on my only friend and can’t talk to anyone else bc then he’d be humiliated. I don’t know what to do. On one side I feel for him and understand why he feels like that but on the other I don’t want to have to cut off friends who are guys because of our relationship. I’m both sad hurt angry everything. Idek advice? And he does have online friends which are girls as well but he says it’s not the same bc he’s known them for a while

[ohsheeT]

Well that truly does suck you have a friend and you can't be friends. I do understand your boyfriends point of view to. I know the guy is just a friend. Your boyfriend doesn't want to compete against that

I mean if your boy friend was to walk up to you right now and he say hey I will be back in a few hrs I'm goingbto pick up my friend so an so We're just gonna grab a bite to eat. Baby girl watching movie. I know she was saying something about. She has tons of movies at her house. So maybe we might just go there


I mean what's your first thought going to be. Because if you can do it then he can do it.


But damn no friends for that long And only hanging out with your boyfriend and his friends. Oh hell. I would want to go to, if I was you, yes you need so space You need to find some friends that's for sure. I can't really give you any advice on this but in the friends depth. You need more I'm really surprised you haven't gone a little crazy.

But you must be doing something right? Because you're still in a relationship so.
That's cool.

So if you're looking for more friends, I'm sure there's a lot of people on here that would wantbto cost with you

[Zack-Bann]

Online dude wants to smash.
No two ways about it.


I’m sorry but every girl thinks she met the one guy who truly wants to be her friend without ulterior motives and every girl is wrong


Because 100% of the time, yes 100, he wants you.
Or at least wouldn’t say no if given an opportunity.


That’s why guys don’t like their girlfriends hanging out with randos they don’t even know.


Because the only thing that can keep a guy at bay is his respect/fear of the boyfriend.


My ex hated that I wasn’t ok with one dude she was friends with and constantly told me “but you’re ok with me being friends with Marc (a mutual friend of ours)”
And I had to explain to her that my own friendship with Marc and the respect we have for each other makes him far less likely to try getting in her pants
But the other guy I didn’t know would do it in a heartbeat.


And it’s not a lack of faith in her saying no.
It’s the simple fact that she’s willing to even give her time to a dude who’s clearly dishonest about his intentions.


All this apply to you as well.
You think you made a friend, but if that’s truly the case then have your boyfriend meet him too. Let’s see how he reacts to your partner in the room.


My guess is it will be awkward, because he wants you.

[Kinky_Slutt]

I’ve offered for my boyfriend to come with me to meet him and he says he doesn’t want to. And my friend is also into guys. But if 100% of the time guys only intentional is to smash should I not let him have female friends?

[Zack-Bann]

If he’s taking his girl “friends” on solo outings (basically dates) then yes you should take issue with it

If his female friends are part of a larger group and he only sees them when everyone is getting together then it’s meaningless

Also, men in relationships are a little less likely to go after women friends (but still would do it) so if your new friend is single it’s not the same as your boyfriend who isn’t

[Kinky_Slutt]

But how would I get to the point of a friend group outing without first making a friend. I’m not saying that anything your saying is wrong but if I can’t make friends (Robert who just happened to be a boy i wasn’t specifically looking for a guy friend) how can I hang out in a group that isn’t just his friends putting up with me bc I’m his girlfriend

[Zack-Bann]

I see your problem.

Best way is to bond over common interests

Join a club, a group, a gathering over a hobby

It’s the best way to make friends.
Building up from one friend to 2 to 3 rarely ever works

[Kinky_Slutt]

I’ve tried these things I go to this young adults group in an attempt to meet people like last Wednesday we did pottery and I also do Muy thai three times a week with a class but we’ll get each other socials and after a week or so it’ll just dwindle out. Which is this one was different as it’s went on strong for months. Is there anyway you’d recommend the group not falling apart? Or any other suggestions for making friends?

[Zack-Bann]

I know that feeling.
I’ve had many groups fall apart of the years, everyone does

You can’t really force these things.

Best thing is to use the common interests to start a friendship but ultimately build up to something more personal

I met best friend playing basketball, neither of us has touched a ball in 2 years, still thick as thieves

Once you meet people you like, start making plans to get food drinks even party (house parties are great)

Some will still fizzle out but the ones who stay will be your friends for a long time

It’s also important not to be desperate with these things, love yourself first and all that

[Kinky_Slutt]

On the party thing, we spoken about it in the past, which led to another argument on that if I wanna go to a party and he doesn’t/can't, and I decide to go with my *potential in the future* female friends, he’d be upset. Is that reasonable what are your thoughts? Sorry I know this is a lot, but you have some really good insight

[PeachyPie93]

Why haven't you made any friends in High school? Your boyfriend doesn't trust you, so what can you do? Really since you are bi he can't trust you with anyone, especially when you are making user names like Kinky slutt I don't know if I would trust you either lol. But at that point, if he doesn't trust you why are you even dating?

[Kinky_Slutt]

Suffered from social anxiety. I know the username was a bad idea I simply don’t know how to change it 😭 but he says he trust me but he just doesn't like the situation

[PeachyPie93]

I see, that is too bad because high school is the best and easiest time to make friends since you are all the same age and see each other most days..
But if he trusts you why is he making a big deal of it, and why doesn't he want to meet and hangout with him as well to see what kind of guy he is? Considering he has girl friends I wouldn't really worry what your boyfriend thinks, since that is his own issue. If you wanna make knew friends go ahead, just meet them in public places to stay safe.

[Kinky_Slutt]

Yeah I just don’t want this to compromise the relationship. Throwing away a two year long relationship for a potential friendship. But if I give in and cut the friendship then what’s gonna happen the next time yk? I love him but I need people outside of him in my social group

[PeachyPie93]

Trust me a 2 year relationship is not that long.. especially if he is having double standards or being overly controlling. I would try to talk to him more about it and get to the bottom of why he is so against it. Since it makes sense that you defo need friends of your own. I would also continue trying to find female friends as well to hopefully find others to hangout with.

[Kinky_Slutt]

Yeah I guess it’s just my first relationship so it feels like the end or the world. I’ll try talking to him again in a way that doesn’t end in a fight and hopefully we can find something that works for us both

[Nikki1989]

Don't let any man tell you who you can be friends with.

[Kinky_Slutt]

But then I lose the relationship or we’ll stay together but he’ll treat me differently

[serious]

That is not fair. If he expects you not to have male friends, contacts then he should also follow the same boundaries. This is just a one sided rule/standard that he has for you.

You need to have a honest communication with him and let him know that he has nothing to be concerned about.

[glennos89]

If he invites you out he obviously doesn't want to be just a normal friend. Your boyfriend in definitely in his right to not thrust this situation wether you would or wouldn't cheat on him. You can't be just normal friends if this dude wants to go out with you. Guaranteed he wants more then that with you

[Kinky_Slutt]

He moved from Poland to my city and he doesn’t have many friends i’m not disagreeing with you because you as a guy know how guys think better then I would but why exactly can’t we be normal friends? I’m not attractive to the point he’ll automatically want to sleep with me. I think we just both don’t have friends and are bored in the city

[glennos89]

How do you know you are not that attractive to him. For example... you might find yourself a 4 out of 10 but perhaps he finds you a 9 out of 10. You can't rate yourself like that because you always look different to yourself the others do

[bowenw]

Even if you are just friends with the guy, your boyfriend is probably still worried that it could be more or turn into more. Help your boyfriend deal with it by giving him details about what you will be doing with your friend when you go out with him and consider checking in with him occasionally if he is the super jealous type.

[Kinky_Slutt]

I tried and am trying, I asked him if he wanted to meet him while I did, I asked if he would prefer something more out and open than the horror movie we were going to watch. He said doesn’t want to know or be involved.

[bowenw]

In that case, you probably should do what your boyfriend wants and keep the details to yourself. I suggest you keep the time away with your friend as short as possible as your boyfriend will likely be worried, even if he says he isn't. For example, limit the visit to the movie.

[Kinky_Slutt]

The problem with that is then I’m not being transparent and he’ll use that to say I’m hiding things. I feel like it’s a lose lose situation

[StevenMcGarrett]

Hmm that is a tough one. Guys are naturally jealous of other guys. So it is going to hard for him to be friends with another guy.

[Kinky_Slutt]

I don’t need him to be friends with him. I get it. I just don’t like how he’s treating me about it. He barely spoke to me bailed on plans we had and swore when expressing why he was mad we don’t do when upset

[StevenMcGarrett]

It sounds like he is upset. I don't know of a way to calm him down.

[seeyounexttuesday]

You don't sound very bright. If you want friends, make connections with human beings, in person who are female.

[Kinky_Slutt]

You seem like a person who are only friends with women you want to bang. I have no romantic interest in anyone but my man and I’m bisexual so if I was wanting to be with someone else then being female wouldn’t change a thing

[seeyounexttuesday]

I was right!

[Kinky_Slutt]

Alright bud

[Anonymous]

I seen you your name and just said no.. get some therapy weirdo

[Kinky_Slutt]

There’s a reason your anonymous sweetheart gain some courage before you talk hun 😘

[Bklynbadboy12]

Let me ask you this does your boyfriend have friends that are girls

[Kinky_Slutt]

Yup he does

[Bklynbadboy12]

So if he has friends why can't you

[In_Trance]

Break up with your boyfriend

[Kinky_Slutt]

I don’t even know if your trolling lmao

[Wise4myage]

Follow you’re gut.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆TLDR