Can someone's family be a deal breaker?

Question

I've heard people say, "I'm not dating their family I'm dating them."  But are their specific situations where family/in laws can ruin a great relationship?

Hellraiser1984 · Accepted Answer

My father's side is broken because my grandmother married my grandfather and her father didn't like him. So my dad's kicked out and so am I. It's going to go on for forever. Be very careful about who you date , especially if their family is wealthy. Being rich sucks because it's all about image and pompousness. Rich people will let their kids die of an illness just to save their own money. Their kids mean nothing to them at all. They choose who their children date and marry. Id they choose to not marry who their parents tell them too what happened to me occurs. I don't exist. My grandmother ignores me like I don't exist. I can scream in her face and she won't acknowledge me at all. My cousins all hate me. My dads sister hates me. Everyone hates me all because of my grandmothers stupid decisions. Dumb bitch...

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I would hope not.. I mean let them say what they want to. If there talking bad about me it's ok because that just means the don't know me
. and if I was dating someone and my family didn't like her

O well we got together because we know each other and we like each other and that's all that count.

There is no way I would stop dating some because they didn't like her

LostGirl9 · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on whether the person decides to defend their partner or not. My dad’s family hates my mom, they did many things to make it obvious, my dad never did anything to put a stop on it and it soured not only his relationship with my mom, but also with us kids. On the other hand my friend had problems with her bf’s family but he always sticks up for her and gets her out of uncomfortable situations so with time they figured out if they kept up they would lose him as well and they pretty much stopped.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Ooooh yeahhhh. If you ever met my in-laws you’d see. And actually same thing I was told about a guy I was seeing a while back. Folks asked me if I was sure I wanted to get involved with a guy who had “so many family issues.” I said yes… I knew them well enough and knew the challenges they faced… and didn’t mind sharing that “burden” with the fellow. But… I guess he felt guilty bringing a girl into that skewed dynamic…. And he’s lost long-time partners over it before so he didn’t think I could handle it.

Simslover92 · Answer

I think the only way a family can be a deal breaker for me at least is if they are heavy into drugs. Like if a lot of the family sells or uses drugs. That would be a big one for me.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Almost all my exes had a horrible family and mine are just as horrible so fair game i guess. I would prefer someone who wants to build a family of our own but isn’t so wrapped up in their current family that they really had no choice in being apart of

Massageman · Answer

Oh - absolutely - yes!

I know of two "in-law" situations that prove this- if only people could catch those things before the fact. One of the situations has brought back a nice to a guy who really deserved it after getting shafted during most of his life. The other? let's just say that one individual continues to live in his little fantasy world which he considers "the norm that everyone must accept", and so as a result, can no longer be part of his remaining family.

NordicInScandinavia · Answer

Yes, the family of my partner matter if they are a part of his life because then they'll end up being a part of mine. Broke it off with an ex because his mom and dad where simply awful human beings and I did NOT want to be around people like that but he choose to, so I choose to leave him.

Love my in laws, they be amazing people.

Cormac995 · Answer

yes, they can some people come from really toxic family backgrounds, and they will actively try to sabotage the relationship if they don't like you. Some family's dig their claws into their kids to control them so deep that they let them control and ruin their lives and even relationships I've actually seen it here on this site before.

WhiteThought · Answer

I don't think a woman's family would be a deal breaker, but if that family has a hold on the woman I'm with, and she is willing to jeopardize our relationship just to appease them, do things how they want, then THAT is a deal breaker for me. There is nothing wrong with family talking to you and explaining how they feel about something, but then moment they are making decisions for you, that's the end.

Miah06 · Answer

It can put a strain on either 1 or both people involved on the relationship depending on the situation.

I had 1 ex family destroy our relationship. And we were really in love. But we were too young to stop her parents from keeping us apart

Kaneki05 · Answer

I guess but that would be on her not me. As I don't care, so unless she's breaking up with me because she wants me to date her family too that would be the problem that she brought not me.

I would never expect her to date my dad or anyone else because why do they matter?

sage2021 · Answer

Yes, definitely. In the State I live in it's not very family oriented. You're pretty much on your own.
However, when I lived in the South it was a different story. You do end up marrying the entire family.

MemeSupreme · Answer

its not their family but how my partner responds to it

like if we have kids... will he agree to let them go to their place despite being bad for them? does them not liking me impact him badly? just stuff like that

RavVid · Answer

It is more likely their friends that are going to be the deal breaker. At times I have found my girlfriend's girl friends have resented me intruding upon their relationship with my girlfriend and set about sabotaging it.

alice55 · Answer

It mostly depend on the guy reaction to be honest, if the mother is always over us and he say nothing it can be a dealbreaker in the long run but if he tell her off (politely but firmly then I would say it's usually ok).

Anonymous · Answer

Well a person's family many times is a reflection of them. So yes a lot of times a person's family should give you pause if you find disturbing things about thier family. But that's NOT an automatic disqualifier. There's been many a good people who come from real 💩ty stock. It's not typically the norm. But it still is very possible.

Fireguy17 · Answer

oh ya, welcome to the shit show.
You kind of have to balance that against how she is, spits or swallows, will she be that way in a few years.
Not that people do not have interesting family dynamics.
No one is perfect, nor is every family.
You just hope you got the sane one of the bunch.

lyrem04 · Answer

Yes! I will not be in a relationship with someone whose family mender they have a strong relationship with don’t like me and vise versa. It’s just too much drama.

Shiprex · Answer

Not especially because I can tske the shit as well as give it but if the sense of humour is missing then THEY get the boot.

BDRick · Answer

Yes and it has for me. I’m not saying the same apply for you, but for me, it has happened before; A Woman’s mom, dad, and/or both have picked so hard that I had to leave her.
Again, it need not apply for you, but if it does, you know who to talk to …me because I’ve got your back

Sparklight · Answer

Ah. That is why so many of us live across the country from each other.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yes, it's an age old thing that has happened to many people.. Only if the family is too involved and toxic..

beenherebefore · Answer

I wouldn't break up with someone because of their family but if I ever sense toxicity my first instinct is always to avoid them.

Miristheiss · Answer

Of course.  Seeing what type of family they come from and what boundaries the person has with their family is one of the key things to observe when deciding if you are compatible.

molonski2 · Answer

I think 100 % they can be.. I married into one of the worst families of all time without realising , I'd never make that mistake again , criminals and free loaders.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Abso-fucking-lutely

The biggest example is if she has kids that hate you or vice versa.. parents died siblings live in other parts of the city, or maybe even another state. But kids are there to stay.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It probably should be, honestly. Obviously you'll have the people who are total black sheep, but most are reflective of their home life environment.

Chayce · Answer

Of course. How long is it going to take to have your family's approval. If a year passes and your family is still extremely standoffish its over.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

It depends on how much influence his family would have over him and his actions

strateguy632 · Answer

Sometimes yes, if they ignore you, they will influence her to ignore you. Don't even start.

fish5505_87 · Answer

I personally, do not have this problem, but I've seen it in my family and friends. It cab be a deal breaker because it puts so much unintended strain on the relationship.

bddddd · Answer

If they are willing to leave their family for your relationship then it is a go.  Marrying into the family is a no.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, if the parents are crazy it would give me pause.

loveslongnails · Answer

That depends on how close your s. o. or spouse is to their family, and how much influence family has over them.

Sal_Monella · Answer

Absolutely. if your family wants an arranged marriage and your prospective partner is not in that arrangement, that is a deal breaker.

robocop666 · Answer

went to school with a family of morons. You can see the moron traits running in the family. Seeing them individually is hard but when you see the traits across them it all it makes it worse.

WonderingManII · Answer

Can someone's family be a deal breaker? Sadly Yes.

AydenHazor · Answer

Sometimes family is only a deal breaker if they cause the person to act in a way that a deal breaker

AndrésC64 · Answer

I haven't had this problem, but I think it could happen.

Lilly1979 · Answer

If family making decisions for what good. My ex did this.

Twalli · Answer

It depends on the family and their involvement with it.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

If they're Klanspeople or other white supremacists.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

What is the famous word I use all the time?

Professor-college · Answer

Yes.. i had a girlfriend who's parents were too intense so i broke up with her

Agape93 · Answer

Can be but usually isn't

Anonymous · Answer

Probably yes, some people have difficult families.

Panthero80 · Answer

I suppose if they are terrible and we have to see them often.

DawnB · Answer

I dont think so

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, absolutely.

CubaPirate · Answer

Unfortunately yes

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Absolutely!

ilistengood · Answer

definitely

Robert1971 · Answer

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Can someone's family be a deal breaker?

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