Like you’re not morbidly obese , but you’re not a Barbie either.
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- 368 opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yAs a gym goer, I do prefer my romantic partners to be fit as well.
But, I’ve dated several girls who were medium or plus-sized.
If our chemistry is really good and our personalities and values make us very compatible, that’s what matters most.
(My shortest relationship was actually with a pretty skinny girl. We just didn’t click. And her looks weren’t going to make up for our lack of chemistry so I broke up with her.)
All of the people I’ve ever dated needed to be able to hold a conversation decently though.
If you can showcase your personality and values and energy through conversation, if you can make that shine through, that’ll be enough for guys who aren’t shallow.
10 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
- 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yHave you seen who guys go for? Honestly, as long as you have a reasonably sweet personality, put yourself out there, and you don't panic and totally ice out every guy who speaks to you; you'll be able to attract someone.
20 Reply
What Guys Said
- 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yYou don't need to be a 10/10 to find a partner! That's just not necessary. It depends on what kind of partner you're looking for anyway. If you're just looking for the hottest possible guy to fuck... then ok, maybe you do need to focus on your figure.
Otherwise... if you want a relationship? Your figure is really not the factor that's going to determine anything.
No guy is going to think "yea... I like her... but she's not a barbie. I need a barbie"
You find a partner the same way anybody does. Try and talk to guys who are single and looking, and hope that you hit it off. You do not want the guy who only wants you if your figure is a 10/10.
Are you only willing to date a guy with a six-pack, or a 12 inch cock? Probably not.
What you're doing is the equivalent of asking "how does a man with a regular sized cock find a partner"...
This is not a penis-size or abs related problem. That is just looking at the whole thing the wrong way. If you don't like a guy without the abs, or before you find out he's got a huge cock... you don't really like the guy anyway. Right? Same here.
Your figure is not a factor here. As you say, you're not obese. You're a normal girl.
13 Reply
Asker1 ySeems like women are judged more harshly than men on appearance
- 1 y
They are. I won't try and argue that with you. But nevertheless, nobody is looking for a barbie and nothing less. Actually that's not true. There are a few guys like that. But they're not going to be good partners.
Look around you. Are all the girls in a good relationship a 10/10? Obviously not.
So while women may indeed be judged more harshly than men. The point remains... nobody should like you if you were a 10/10 who doesn't like you as you are. If they do... that person doesn't actually like you. They just want to be with you because of the way you look. It would suggest that all they're interested in is your body. So again, it depends what you're looking for. But the idea that you can't find a partner because you aren't a 10/10 is totally wrongheaded. It's fighting a battle... that you don't need to fight.
Thinking that if your figure were better, that you'd be able to find a partner is something you might want to dissect for yourself. I think you'll find that it's not a valid argument if you're looking for something substantial. Guys who are looking for something substantial, are going to SEE you differently, based on your personality (in other words, THAT guy will see you as a 10/10. Because he likes you. In particular. As a person).
Similarily, you could be a 10/10... and have trouble finding a partner, because you come off in a way that leaves a negative impression (so become uglier in a guys eyes).
A normal looking girl, will not look normal to the guy who falls for her. He falls for HER though. Not her looks. Her looks will help a guy notice a girl he might otherwise not especially notice. So you might get more guys initiating contact on a dating site for example. However, that is never what makes a guy fall for a girl. It's not the critical factor.
Asker1 yFinding a man like that Is gonna be hard tho
- 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yFirst above all, most men don’t exclusively seek out goddesses and supermodels like the media would have you believe.
Everyone tends to overthink their flaws when trying to figure out their place in the dating scene. Don’t fixate on your insecurities. Focus on your strengths. If you feel like you’re lacking there too, then you have opportunities to improve. Pick up a hobby, join a club, learn to play an instrument, a sport or a game. Take a class, or attend a lecture. Make sure that when you meet someone new and they’re talking to their friends about you after, they’re not describing you by your appearance alone. They’re going to say “the funny one”, “the smart one”, “the guitarist” or whatever. When you fixate on your appearance, you give them nothing else to go by. Be friendly, fun and interesting and people will flock to you. Then you can take your pick.
This advice works the same for females and males.11 Reply
Asker1 yThank you
16.6K opinions shared on Dating topic. Having a good personality and being an interesting person will get you a long ways with guys.
14 Reply
Asker1 yHasn’t so far , but I’ll keep trying
Asker1 yTrue
1 yHello ma'am I believe you can still find plenty of guys that would like to be with you no matter how you feel about your body there's more than likely a lot of guys around that would be delighted to be with you.
To me finding a partner happened by chance and luck, and frankly could happen anywhere if you're willing to be open with the one you're wanting to be with. And they be open with you
From my perspective as a 23 y. o. 5'8 145 lb average body type guy. Its awfully rare some woman would enjoy to be with a body type like mine but I shrug my shoulders and say what the heck and just test the waters anyway. And so far I was able to find someone that genuinely enjoyed being with me.
But I also do have a bias towards full figured women, simply because a person that is well fed is in general in my opinion better than them starving themselves to less than a meal a day which I always found to be unhealthy really and pushed me away from thinner women. Plus I like eating pretty much anything
Really no matter if your looking online or in person no matter where you're from having a sweet and good relatable character about you and easy going mannerisms can really be a great quality to have to really start and possibly bring home good connections with someone well worth it10 Reply831 opinions shared on Dating topic. Being larger doesn't mean you can't be fit. A persons character is also more important than their physique. For me I want to be with someone who would share similar passions and interests with me more than be a piece of eye candy. I think it's more about the type of person you are seeking these days that matters. How important is appearance to you? Can you overlook appearance to someone's character and go on that as a fit?
117 Reply
Asker1 yI’ve dated dudes with a dad bod before , so as long as he isn’t morbidly overweight Im okay with it.
Asker1 ySadly , finding people with character is difficult
Asker1 yCan’t really meet a man in today’s world that doesn’t ghost people
Asker1 yCan’t really meet men if ya can’t drive
Asker1 yHave to have a license for a motorcycle
Asker1 yI don’t think I’d like driving a motorcycle , Im kinda scared of them , I do think bikers are attractive tho
Asker1 yThat’s the scary part of it
Asker1 yGood night
- 1 y
In our society, character isn’t out there. Sad but true
Asker1 y@blackeagle007 very true , sadly
305 opinions shared on Dating topic. Me personally I go to the gym Monday through Friday to the best of my ability, it's my hobby so I do prefer someone with a nice figure, but her body doesn't have to be nowhere near "barbie doll"... Someone will like you for you, if you truly find that the problem maybe trying doing a little bit of cardio and cut down on your daily food intake as someone who actually wasn't appealing (I'm implying you probably look great) I lost some pounds by some I mean a lot and I feel great and I don't mean only mentally but physically. I'm sure you're just being hard on yourself people are twisted I don't really like this question because there isn't a "factual answer" to this its all personal preference at the end of the day.
10 Reply2.1K opinions shared on Dating topic. No one is saying you need to be a 10/10
But if you’re out of shape to the point of personal insecurity then you ought to get in shape before dating anyone
Not because a better shape will make you more desirable
But because a better outlook on life and self esteem will do it20 Reply720 opinions shared on Dating topic. I'm confused. Why would guys need to be a woman to find a partner?
Also it isn't clear what you consider "a 10/10". BMI 30 seems about perfect.13 Reply
Asker1 yMy bmi is less than 30
Asker1 yWdym?
- 2.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yAdvice on figure or weight is hard to give without a visual, but in general, just get to a healthy weight.
11 Reply
Asker1 ythanks , Im trying
- 934 opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yYou don't need to be a 9-10 just don't be a 1-3. 4's to 8's will do fine.
15 Reply
Asker1 yObviously not , cuz I’m sitting at about a solid 6 or so 🤣
- 1 y
Looks aren't everything. What else do you bring to the table? Humor, wit, education, friendly, fun?
Location matters. Are you in a small town or a large population center with lots of guys? Effort matters. What have you done to meet guys other than sit there hoping they'll approach you? Dress well? Hairstyle?, Good grooming?
Asker1 yI live in a small town and yes I wash myself 🤣
- 1 y
Small towns are a problem. Fewer options. Potentially bigger compromises.
Asker1 yVery true
1.7K opinions shared on Dating topic. Be yourself and try to do things where you can meet a lot of people. I find a good person comes along when you least expect it.
114 Reply
Asker1 yI don’t really have a lot of outlets in my town
Asker1 yIm not sure if there’s any clubs except the local book club
Asker1 ySome , it depends on the book , but I think book club is mainly women
Asker1 yI don't know what that would be except hunting and I don’t wanna do that
Asker1 yI suck at singing and softball 🤣
Asker1 yI don't know how many men are in photography around here , but that might be something
Asker1 yCan’t stand golf 🤣 I don't know enough about racquet but I could look into it
Asker1 ythanks
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yI see lots of girls medium size find guys. dress right, exercise, eat right, have a good attitude and personality.
no doubt figure can impact options and what guys think.
15 Reply
Asker1 yI try to be nice to everyone , sadly it hasn’t gotten me very far , I get ghosted a lot.
Opinion Owner1 ywould need more detail to figure out how to correct course...
Asker1 yI don't know , tried everything I could think of
Opinion Owner1 yit can be frustrating, is for guys as well. have to sit back, watch, listen, learn. others are finding mates...
that's my point... you may need external viewpoints, watch others whom are successful. dating/relationships are social, emotional... and it requires skill development. it's not just looks/dimensions.
Asker1 yThanks
- 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yThere are plenty of women that aren't 10/10 that are in relationships. It's not like it's a requirement.
13 Reply
Asker1 yIt’s more difficult tho
- 1 y
You could say that about anyone who isn't a 10/10.
Asker1 yVery true
- 4.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 yJust have interests beyond celebrity gossip and be a decent person. The guys who are worth the energy will find you.
11 Reply
Asker1 ythanks
1 yIf you have a super friendly and kind personality, you might click with a guy that way.
113 Reply
Asker1 yHopefully that’ll work eventually so far , I’ve been nothing but ghosted
- 1 y
If it's happening online, ghosting happens online a lot.
Asker1 yYeah it does
- 1 y
When I as on AOL, back in the day, many time when I traded photos with a girl, they would log off as soon as they saw me. :(
Asker1 yIm sorry to hear that and haven’t heard about aol in a long time.
- 1 y
Yes that was a long time ago, but that is part of the reason why I tell people I'm ugly and I don't post pictures of myself anymore.
Asker1 yIm sorry that they were so rude to you
- 1 y
It's ok, it all started in Elementary school, got worse in middle school, was bad in High school, and then after that I got into doing the online chatting, and it was bad there too. After 11 years of trying to find someone in the online dating world, I found myself giving up on it. Then I ran into some problems on social anxiety site, and that was when I finally decided I wasn't going to post pictures of myself online anymore. People like who they like, and they hate who they hate. I just try to play it safe.
Asker1 yYeah online dating is a crap shoot
- 1 y
I agree cause that has been my experience, but I only did it cause I had to do it.
Asker1 yI hope you find somebody
- 1 y
I hope you find someone too.
Asker1 yThanks 🙂
1 yYou don't have to be Barbie, but the average American woman is obese, all you need to do is be better than average and have a good personality and rake reasonably good care of yourself.
20 Reply
1 yMost women aren’t barbie… not even close…. And honestly for the right guy the figure wouldn’t matter… what matters is the compatibility between you two… and how good as a person you are…
10 Reply
1 ySimps abound, many men will do anything just to have a woman's attention.
05 Reply
Asker1 yHaven’t seen any 🤣
- 1 y
Look at the men following E thots. They're so starved for female attention they'll pay money to a disgusting thot to have her interact with them.
Asker1 yYeah but they’re instagram models , there’s a difference , it’s still pathetic but the women are better looking
- 1 y
They're also prostitutes, they don't care about these men and the men know it. You on the other hand are an actual flesh and blood woman that they might be able to have an actual chance with. If you can avoid the porn addicts or guys that are there with whores because they don't actually want a relationship you might have a chance. There are probably lists somewhere that you can get of some E thots "fans" and ways to contact them. I imagine there's a discussion group somewhere. Just go there and start chatting them up, find out who's who.
Asker1 ythanks , Im still trying to find good people on the internet , it’s like finding a unicorn 🤣
1 yU can't if u think the look is the key for it but good luck anyway👍🏻
03 Reply
Asker1 ythanks?
- 1 y
U can be 10/10 in other things, like being smart and caring, having mutual goals..., meaning having features a guy might be looking for in a partner. Which means u need to meet more guys until u and ur partner find each other 👍🏻
Asker1 yBeen trying for a long time and haven’t had any luck , sure wish it was easier.
- 2.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1 y''In the village of the blind, the one-eyed will be mayor''
... and... avoid 'going to town'?
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yBeing an unfit woman is like being a guy. You're going to have to work at it.
10 Reply587 opinions shared on Dating topic. No offense, honestly. But the woman in that picture is morbidly obese.
04 Reply
Asker1 yWhat picture?
Asker1 yI didn’t post a picture
Asker1 yDamn so even the site is trolling me now 🤣 nice
626 opinions shared on Dating topic. Go to the gym and do some exercises
15 Reply
Asker1 yI can’t afford the gym
Asker1 yI do have a trike
Asker1 yManual labor
1 yBeing fat is worse than being mean. Your romantic options plummet dramatically.
01 Reply
Asker1 yTrue , I don’t condone being a douchebag but they seem to get a lot of people for some reason
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yYou don't have to be a 10 just be yourself
15 Reply
Asker1 ythanks , hasn’t worked so far tho
Opinion Owner1 yYou really wanna know why it hasn't worked because of the kind of guys you expect to be chasing after you
Asker1 yWdym?
Opinion Owner1 yYou're expecting the same type of guys to chase you.. instead get the opposite kind of guy to chase you
Asker1 yThat’s the thing I’ve dated or talked to men of all types of backgrounds and age groups , so I have tried variety 🤣
6.4K opinions shared on Dating topic. Date someone in your league obviously
10 Reply
1 yit does not need to be a 10
10 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)1 yI suppose you should work out.
00 Reply
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