I think I've fallen for an avoidant attachment style guy. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Before you make your opinions i also was an avoidant. But I've healed most of it. But now I love an avoidant and not sure what to do. Is it worth it? Is it stupid?

[Summeroflove]

Here is the thing just take things slowly. Is he a overall good person? If the answer is yes then you need to see if you’re compatible. Some people need someone whose also avoidant I’m not saying if people truly love one another if they’re right with everything else they can’t make it but every situation is different.

Some people need more closeness and others want more independence. Compatibility is EXTREMELY important. It doesn’t make someone a bad person but don’t waste your time and better yet don’t waste someone else’s time.

[Anonymous]

Hmm avoidants always pull away and act like they don't want a relationship and hardly if ever put the work in, so I decided never again, I got with an anxious attachment style and with me being anxious myself it's perfect, two people present fighting for it putting in effort it's amazing and what's even more amazing is that after a while the two anxious become secure, I've tried so hard in the past with avoidants to the point I honestly don't believe they deserve love, harsh I know but they will make excuses they will keep their options open, they aren't built for a lifetime of love to one person, I've never seen one change

[Asker]

I lost 2 people i really cared for because I was an avoidant. I learned my lesson and have been doing some healing and getting better

[Opinion Owner]

I know it may not be the answer you seek, but from dating a few avoidants I strongly despise them now, if you want a relationship where you are showered in love and you never have to question I'd look for a secure or anxious, wish I knew that advice at a younger age,

[PeachyPie93]

You should date him to get a taste of your own medicine lol

[ProbablyClueless]

If you have done your healing then sticking around might send you backwards.

With avoidants, the best thing to do is honestly just to run.

[AaronKrieger]

It doesn't matter what dating style he has, since he should be trying to make sure his issues are not put onto you. If he is compatible for you and your needs/wants are being met (and vice versa), then who cares.

[Anonymous]

You could help him maybe. I have some characteristics of it, and it would be beneficial if I had someone actually try to help me.

[Asker]

I think maybe you need therapy. I feel its a waste of time. I want someone who wants me back. All that chasing... I look like a fool

[Opinion Owner]

You probably look like a genius compared to me and the chasing I have done. My avoidant issues mostly would go away after I know someone. I would be more than willing to go to couples therapy, if I was seeing someone who thought we needed it. I don't know where you are with this person, but you could consider trying that eventually.

[Opinion Owner]

It auto added that link.