Women, would you travel to see a man? Men, do you think you should offer to pay for the flight ticket?

[lexipoolex]

Let’s say you’re dating this guy you get along with and he leaves the country suddenly to go to Paris and then keeps asking you to come see him. However, he explicitly refuses to pay for the flight ticket but offers to keep you at his rented out apartment and pay for accommodations for one to two weeks during your stay.

Women, would you consider flying to see him?

Men, do you think you should offer to pay the flight ticket?

[Screenwriter]

If someone offers to put you up while you visit them in a city as interesting as Paris, I think I could scrounge up the money to fly there. The cost of accommodations in Paris is pretty pricey. You'd pay more than the cost of the flight over there.

The only way the man might offer to pay for the ticket is if the woman absolutely cannot afford to get it for herself for some reason. But the offer of accommodations is a generous one. It's how I went to Paris. A friend put me and my husband up. It was incredibly generous. We took him out for dinner and gave him money. It made our seeing the city a once in a lifetime budget excursion. Forever grateful to him.

[Nikki1989]

Never have, never would.

Regardless, an hour away would be my limit.

[Zack-Bann]

I moved to Paris some years back and I can understand why he doesn’t wanna pay for the ticket


If he can afford a ticket it would be better spent for him to go home and see you as well as everyone else
Expat life is hard


Besides offering to host you and pay for expenses during the trip is already a lot of money


I once dated a woman who lived far away and while it was her own choice to come see me she always payed for her trip


And I always hosted her, basically saving her a few grands for a 6 day stay in a city like Paris

[lexipoolex]

Except he’s the one asking me to come there constantly and I didn’t suggest it…. It’s not easy to hop on a plane and travel somewhere for someone who’s not even exclusive with you. Covering the costs of living is not some grand gesture given that he’s already paying rent whether I’m there or not… so let’s not get it twisted.

[Zack-Bann]

Other than ending this non-relationship I don’t know what you can do

He’s gone.

If you’re not exclusive he’s probably got more women than he can handle already

Save yourself the headache

[lexipoolex]

Thanks for the advice 👍

[Benjiman19]

My friend went into the navy and was deployed over in Japan for a year but before he left, he was in California. He used tinder and found a girl all the way across the states. Charlotte, North Carolina. He paid for her ticket to come see him for a week.

I feel it's the best thing to do if the guy is asking for you to fly over to see him. What if it turns out he's playing games with you and he doesn't have anything to offer you when you get there? Are you going to blow a lot of your own money on a plane ticket for him and then maybe get stuck over there?

[DishLady]

It depends on the nature of the relationship — it would have to be an established relationship for me to bother with travel. It wouldn’t be for a random hookup.


Perhaps as a polite gesture the guy should pay for the first ticket, esp if he’s the one suggesting the travel. But you can’t expect the guy to pay EVERY TIME indefinitely.

[HawkPerception]

They'd have to be one hell of a dream girl for me to see them for the first time abroad.

I feel like I might do it if I was in a long distance relationship for a good while. I would NOT surprise them though. I'd communicate a ton that I'd love to see them and visit and only after they confirm that they want me to come would I book a ticket.

I would not pay for their ticket. People can easily scam you out of money like that.

[MrOracle]

I don't do long distance relationships. They make no sense and nearly all of them fail due to the distance.

Date LOCALLY!

[CheriBlossomKisses]

It depends. How long have we been dating? Also, it's a bit weird for him to foot everything else with the exception of the plane ticket. Is it one of those childish games to see if the woman is interested in him, not his money, so he'll have her buy the ticket? I don't mind buying the ticket, but I'm too old for games.

I have had a man offer to pay for everything for me including the plane ticket though. It's not hard to imagine what he wanted... lol.

[Abbycado]

He doesn’t owe for the ticket, but then he can’t complain if you don’t see him because you don’t have or want to spend the money.

[lexipoolex]

I honestly don’t make a lot of money… I’m a student and working part time. He doesn’t make a lot of money either but he’s the one asking me to fly to him.

[Abbycado]

Since you don’t make a lot of money and he doesn’t either, he should be a little more sensitive and understanding to the situation.

[lexipoolex]

He has more savings than me. He keeps saying “all you have to do is spend $700 on the plane ticket and then you have a free place to live.” However, I still feel icky spending my money and putting in so much effort for this man.

[Abbycado]

Then don’t do it. That’s a joke anyhow. He’d be paying for the place he lives whether you visit or not. He’s acting like he’s going to pony up for some fancy hotel when all he is doing is offering the place he already has to pay for.

@HollyK21 might have something to add.

[HollyK21]

So it sounds like he moved to Paris, is he suggesting you pay for a ticket to go move in with him? Or just to visit for 2 weeks?

[lexipoolex]

@HollyK21 He moved to Paris for a year as always planned but we hit it off and met up in person once in Canada when he was here and now just talk over the phone for long hours. He is suggesting I visit him in Paris and pay for my ticket. He currently lives in a small rented out apartment and is very stingy with money. He wants me to fly to Paris for him with my own money and what he is offering is to house me at the place he lives and pay for the food for a week or however long my short trip is…. Do you think a woman should fly for a man and pay for her own ticket?

[HollyK21]

I think it’s time to ask yourself what you’re investing in, both literally and figuratively. It sounds like nothing is really established, just two people chatting and whatever else. In my opinion it almost sounds like you’d be going to visit a friend, and with your financial situation you have to decide if that’s to sort of vacation you want to spend money and take anytime soon.

Now if this is a guy who you’re romantically interested in then in my opinion that’s a whole different investment and plan. He’s supposed to be out there for a year, so I’d imagine you’d like to see each other more than just 2 weeks out of all those months. If traveling to see one another a couple times becomes part of the plan then maybe you should both invest in your ticket and your expenses while visiting. Or do whatever feels comfortable and fair for you both, but it’ll take some coordination to make the LDR and distance work.

[lexipoolex]

@HollyK21 it’s basically just a friend except for the fact that he tries to make things sexual between the two of us. I don’t feel like travelling on my own expenses to see a man personally and I don’t know if that makes me entitled or not but I feel uncomfortable with the idea. I am used to men footing the bill and putting in the effort.

[HollyK21]

Well, if he’s your friend then it wouldn’t be the same expectations as there may be with a guy you’re actually seeing. Him trying to make things sexual would only turn the situation into a friends with benefits, and it sounds like that’s all he’d be making of it since he isn’t offering to fly you out.

[lexipoolex]

@HollyK21 I don’t like having free sex with men who can’t even invest any money in me at all.

[Abbycado]

So you expect money and then you give sex. Mhmm….

[lexipoolex]

@Abbycado I feel disgusting doing it for free like it cheapens my value. The man needs to put effort in me, take me out on dates, spend his money and earn it. That’s how I feel. If you give it up for nothing in return than that’s your choice….

[Abbycado]

You know, prostitutes operate like you do. Just saying. No money spent before sex is given.

I seem to remember my boyfriend laying out crisp twenty dollar bills on his dorm nightstand before our first time.

Wait, that didn’t happen! 🙄

[lexipoolex]

@Abbycado sorry you think having standards makes you a prostitute. I feel sorry for you. Also, I cannot understand your poor English grammar.

[HollyK21]

Lmao you’re selling your body basically and you feel degraded for Abby calling it what it is? Standards don’t make you a prostitute and you know good and well that’s not what she’s insinuating. What makes you a prostitute is wanting financial compensation in exchange for casual sex, and that seems to be what your issue is.

[Abbycado]

@HollyK21 this is truly pathetic and warped XD

[HollyK21]

“I feel disgusting doing it for free like it cheapens my value.” That’s why prostitutes charge. Duh.

[lexipoolex]

@HollyK21 sorry you get used and abused for sex. It never happens to me because I have standards for myself and value myself 🤷🏼‍♀️ you sleep with every guy it seems for nothing. Miss loosey goosey fishy

[Abbycado]

Alright Holly, this is clearly a troll. I’m muting and blocking. What an absolute whore only whore only sleeping with guys for money. See you on the next fuckwit Holly.

[Danny_dan92]

Also you seem to want a man that is willing to pay for absolutely everything…

Ok. Here’s a question for you, sounds like you’re the type of woman that doesn’t want to give anything in return other than pussy.

You think a man that is wealthy isn’t highly desirable by women can get pussy from women who aren’t gold diggers? Just some food for thought. Sounds like the act of sex to you is a business transaction.

Also, if you have the mindset of wanting a man to provide absolutely everything for you… why are you going to college? To waste your time or what? You go to school to set yourself up for a career to make good money.

[HollyK21]

Lmaooo so pressed over your own words! I literally copy and pasted what you said, but I’m the looset goosey? lol how weird! @lexipoolex

[HollyK21]

I’ll be blocking and muting too Abby lmao what a weird ass bitch.

[Staximus]

I'm not going to ask a girl to come see me in a different country or buy any expensive plane tickets for her. Both are ridiculous unless she's my wife and I'm out of the country on a business trip, which I would not bother with in the first place unless they were paying me a shitload of money.

[Paris13]

I went to Egypt and stayed with a Muslim man and his family... we ended up getting married on my second trip. NP... I am now married to a man in the UK, I go out to see him as often as I can because I am not afraid to fly and passport. lolxxxxxxx

[D_Bone_Steak]

I wouldn't offer to pay for shit... but if I offered the place to stay and all that, I might as well pay the plane ticket since I'm being Mr. Money bags. Keep in mind this goes against everything in my will when dealing with women. The last thing I want is to lead with my wallet just for some sloppy clam.

I'd rather she pays on her own because she just can't let my big veiny cock be left alone with the threat of all the other women trying to climb on it.

[molonski2]

He giving the chance to go to Paris accomodation is expensive there , I think in this instance you should buy your own ticket , and even add another week ( without him ). play it casual and see how it goes , if you were a " travel. girl." or " sugar baby " that's another matter , it's a mutual. encounter.

[HighValue]

I would not pay for her flight. She can pay for the flight and I can provide the entertainment while she is there. Men absolutely should NOT pay for everything. Women need to stop being so greedy and selfish.

Only pro$t1tutes expect men to pay for everything.

[queenofcardio]

I have once to NYC. Good trip but never again will travel to see a man.

[Anonymous]

I would not go unless he offered to pay for the flight ticket. If he really loved me, he would pay for that. If I suddenly had to leave the country, of course I would pay for a ticket for him if I could afford it. Now if he couldn’t afford it and I could easily, that’s a different story. But if he could afford to leave the country suddenly, he could probably afford to send me a ticket to visit too.

[StevenMcGarrett]

The man should offer to pay for everything including the plane ticket.

[lexipoolex]

Where can I find more like you! I was born in the wrong generation it seems 😭

[StevenMcGarrett]

Lol, yeah I seen to be in the minority. Although, I have to admit when I was younger and wasn't making a lot of money I might have not been able to offer to pay for the airplane tickets. Bit now that I'm doing okay, I don't mind at all. If fact, I like taking care of a woman.

[slatyb]

That would depend on our relative incomes and the nature of our relationship, but mostly yes, I would buy the ticket.

[jshm2]

I don't travel as much these days. But I often would fly to places to see friends, and even pay for them to see me.

[linguistrosey]

I have travelled to see my ex 90% of the time. I won't do it again. I don't want this to be taken for granted. It's not about financing the travel. Travel is mentally exhausting. I don't care who is paying

[Iron_Man]

I think the woman should pay for her own airplane ticket because she’s staying in my house for free and I’m paying for all the entertainment and all the things that we’re doing and all the food. That’s what my uncle told me to do and my cousin’s boyfriend pay for your own airline ticket and I’ll take care of the rest when they invited me out

[qwerty2469]

My Grandfather always said "never date a woman you have to pay to see" he said this because we lived in Philadelphia and he hated girls from New Jersey. It was an 11 minute drive and a 32 cent toll to cross into New Jersey. (In 1995) I've lived by this rule and thank God I never dated anyone from New Jersey

[FunkyMonkee]

Back in the `90's we travelled about an hour to go see Ringo Starr and 4 hours to see Todd Rundgren and then we went back a few weeks later to see King Crimson.

[lexipoolex]

Travelling together on a date for a long drive isn’t the same as a woman flying to you from another country though…

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, that's gonna be happening soon, too.

[shortster]

If you haven't met in person you shouldn't pay for anything. Whether or not you should travel to date someone, I don't recommend anything more than 2 hours away.

[Anonymous]

well if I was her I wouldn't do it if I didn't have a lot of excess cash. Not worth it

[lexipoolex]

So true thanks … mans out here acting like I’m the unreasonable one LOL.

[dustybiker2]

Move on. If it's meant to be you'll meet up naturally again.

[lexipoolex]

True thanks 🫶

[dustybiker2]

Be happy

[jazzy34]

It almost happened but thankfully it didn’t.

[lexipoolex]

Share the tea sis

[jazzy34]

Basically, he talked a good game, but he turned out to be a liar. Claimed to be interested in me and wanted to see me and meet up, but it never happened. Oh well, lol. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[lexipoolex]

You deserve more and better than him 💯

[LiamJHayden]

In that specific situation, I'd pay for her ticket.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

It depends which partner is initiating the traveling, if you’re offering for someone else. Always pay.
If they are offering to come visit you, they should pay at least for a 1st ever time visit

[Vegasrunner]

It's all relative. You left out a ton of details that would allow a reader to provide an educated answer.

[lexipoolex]

What details do you require?

[Vegasrunner]

@lexipoolex
1. What country is he flying from?
2. How long have you been dating this guy?
3. How long between the time he left does he keep asking to see you?
4. Accommodations? He's lodging, transporting and feeding you for two weeks?
5. Are you his only woman or does he have others?
6. Is he staying in Paris indefinitely?

[lexipoolex]

1. He’s asking me to fly to Paris France from Canada.
2. I met him once in person but he’s been talking to me for hours over the phone. It’s been a month.
3. He asked me probably since the day I met or even before. He keeps asking everytime I call.
4. He said he’s willing to take care of food and that I can live at his place which he is already paying rent for whether or not I’m there. He made it clear that he won’t pay for the flight ticket. He’s a huge cheapskate generally and even refuses to go on dinner dates with women.
5. He’s not exclusive with me and he’s probably talking to other women or at least trying to.
6. He’s staying in Paris for a year.

[Vegasrunner]

@lexipoolex OK this helps. He certainly shouldn't fly you out if you only met in person once. Depending on his lease he may pay for water, sewage, and still has to pay for gas and electricity, things that increase when taking care of another person for that long. Also how are you getting to and fron the airport? Plus unless you guys are going to stay locked in the apartment for two weeks he'll have to pay for transportation. Sounds like you have a physical attraction to him. Most likely what's he's doing is throwing out multiple lines in the hope that someone bites especially if he's new to the city and will only be there for a year.

[Miristheiss]

Pay?

Why would I waste my time with someone who LIVES so far away?

Court locals.

[Anonymous]

Depends, if you want to get into her pants, then yes, you should pay for the ticket.

[douride2]

Not a chance.

[lexipoolex]

Right! Some woman called me a prostitute for saying that I expect to be treated well by a man and that I don’t just give up intimacy before he’s invested in me emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially rather than expect me to put in all the effort. I can’t believe the low standards people have and lack of respect for themselves these days! You’re a mature and wise woman.

[DrPepper12]

She can put on her big girl pants 👖 and reach into the pockets of those big girl pants herself if I'm hosting.

[PlanZ6]

Depends if I met her before if it# a random person no.

[Danny_dan92]

I wouldn’t travel to see a woman

[Abbycado]

Get a loaf of my thread, Danny. Ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Danny_dan92]

Huh?

[Danny_dan92]

Oh, you mean look at your opinion lol one sec

[lexipoolex]

@Danny_dan92 ignore her she’s a fugly whore karen lol. She’s the one trolling people here….

[Danny_dan92]

Her initial response isn’t even trolling. I’m confused, gonna keep reading now

[Danny_dan92]

I believe you’re the troll… just on all the details provided.

She’s just pointing out the obvious which you should only have common sense to figure out.

You claim he “doesn’t make a lot of money” yet the dude moved to another and isn’t homeless…

And tbh 700$ for a flight seems a bit ridiculous. I know air fare isn’t cheap but 700$ for a single flight sounds like this dude flys first class or flys in private jets

[Meatballs]

It was a split thing between someone I had a fling with when I was younger

[Billlewis]

Yes, I would.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Yes, if she's hot.

[Ariesman81]

Well, do you want to see him or just a free trip?

[lexipoolex]

I don’t want either it’s his idea but I feel that if he’s offering he should pay.

[Ariesman81]

Then tell him to save his money

[lexipoolex]

He keeps asking he’s the one that wants me to come fly to him but he won’t offer to pay for it though. That’s the issue.

[Ariesman81]

No. The problem is you wasting our time.

[lexipoolex]

Our? Who’s our?

[Anonymous]

Is there confirmation of coitus?

[lexipoolex]

Well what do you expect will happen when you’re stuck in a hotel room for 2 weeks… this is why I cannot lower my standards to accept such behaviour from men who probably just want cheap free sex with zero effort on their part. That’s how you will end up being used as a woman.

[Anonymous]

No, I would travel to see a girl.

[lexipoolex]

Thanks for being a gentleman. We need more like you. 👍

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome.
Or, if she likes, I would offer to pay the flight ticket.