Is this a sign of colorism and would this make dating hard?

[Anonymous]

Are people telling me this because it’s true or because of colorism? I’m a light-skinned Black girl, and some Black guys and a few Black women have said that if a white guy or someone of a different race liked me or thought I was pretty, it was because I’m not too dark and probably look slightly mixed. Is this true, or is it colorism? I used to hear this a lot when I was younger, and some people even called me “red” or “redbone” because of my skin tone. If a Mexican guy seems interested in me, people will probably say it’s because I’m light-skinned or because he thinks I’m something else.

Updates

8 mo

45+ year old guy please stfu don’t use 😆😆😆 emoji. And angry black woman in her 30’s please stfu don’t respond.

[ohsheeT]

Sorry I'm 45 but what i have to say is important for you to hear and understand there are many types of guys out there you need to figure out who they are before you get
Involved with them.

If I was you it's ok to think about this the makeup, your mind, how you see it. And then drop it, let it go. Because it does not matter what other people think this is about you and nobody else

When you find a guy that loves you first of all, he's not going to see any color whatsoever. He's going to look inside. He's going to figure out your heart and who you truly are. If you have a beautiful heart you're kind you're giving you're smart. You're wise you're happy. You are at peace. And you are confident in yourself. That's what he's going to look at and that's who he's going to fall in love with

And if that is not what he falls in love with you need to walk away because then he's going to try to change you do not change your perfect just the way you are

You need to love yourself one hundred percent before you can do anything else you need to believe in yourself and you need to have the confidence that you have right now. I can hear It in your words. You're perfect. Don't worry. What other people think are say this is your life. They won't even be around tomorrow or the next day

When a guy comes into your life, listen to his words, look into his eyes as he speaks. If he's lying to you he will tell you the truth in the same sentence and not even know it

The deeper love that you have for you will find the same type of guy. That's what you will attract. You will attract many many guys, but you have to know how to read them because you don't want to be with a lot of them that you attract. The most important thing is love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Believe in yourself, because once you do that, that's the same type of person you're going to find Smile. Be happy

And whatever you do just don't settle and understand this before we are human beings. We are spiritual be intervoice that yourself

That is, who you truly are, that person. That energy protects you guide, you teaches you everything. Listen to it when we die and this mask that we all wear falls to the ground, that energy will take everything, you know, it will take who you all the love you have inside. Everything you have learned and it will go into another dimension

So don't let drama from other people. Hold you back because that's all. It ISIS drama to hold you back from your life. From where you're headed your destiny. Because when it's all said and done, it doesn't matter what anybody else says. It matters who you become in life and who you truly are

Remember this when we are born? We are all given a gift that gives this. Choose who we want to be in life by the things we say and do

Not what other people tell us even me right now.
I'm just trying to give you a good message. So you look at things different and forget about what other people say

This is your life. This is your happiness. Do not let people come into it. Create drama and take you down a different path. You believe in you? That's all you have to do

Except for love yourself smile and be happy

[ManOnFire]

I am also black and yes, it is true. Even for light-skinned black men as well. I remember years back an older Latina lady told me I could get a girlfriend easy "Cuz you light-skinned."

The world looks at darker skin as ugly or at least less attractive, even by our own people. That is a sad truth. The thought is that if you're lighter skinned then you have an advantage with partners. Yes, I have had a lot of women of different races be attracted to me for being lighter or looking like I could be closer to their race, but that doesn't make their thinking right at all.

[Asker]

I thought it was colorism at first. Thank you.

[beefcakebradybatson]

"Cuz you light-skinned?" That broad's IQ and my Normal Chest size are forty-five !!!

[beefcakebradybatson]

Actually, darker-skinned black men are viewed as more masculine and thus more attractive than lighter-skinned black men by many women, especially white and Hispanic women. The future NBA Hall Of Famer Stephen Curry, a boyishly handsome, light-skinned black lad, is viewed with suspicion by the league's thug-life, sometimes dark-skinned, quite often ghetto crowd because he's also the son of a former NBAer and grew up comfortably rather than street.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson She was also from one of the poorer Latin countries so I wasn't too surprised.

[beefcakebradybatson]

And most of those places are full of dumb bigots who follow their honkkkie conquerors' lead re. we darker lads.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson All of that is very true. Darker skinned black men are looked at as more masculine, but in my experience white and Latina women will choose a lighter-skinned man over a darker one unfortunately. They will have sex with dark skinned black men who are more hood because of that perceived masculinism like you stated, but wouldn't ever marry those guys.

[beefcakebradybatson]

BLACK women don't really want us;we're pride ornaments, especially high-value chaps. We black lads should date overseas ladies. American (and many Canadian, since I'm a lifelong Windsor, Ont., Can. resident) women will shun me because of my boyish good looks72, articulation and cowboy taste in clothes and music, though I like most (good) music save (c) rap.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson Some truth to that again, yes. It seems to be that the black race doesn't want it's own. Black women don't respect black men but want them as trophies like you noted, and black men don't want them back either, being largely obsessed with white women and Latinas. To this day I'm still trying to understand why we are like this.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Yankees are largely like sixth-graders, and this, I guess, is one aspect. I'm buxom blonde-obessed, but would love a long-haired, dark-skinned, slim but voluptuous black cowgirl.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson Then you might like Angel from that band Infinity Song. She probably matches your type. I'm more into thick black women with afros and big tits. Glasses are a bonus.

[beefcakebradybatson]

MISS ME WITH THAT "THICK" BS, boy-o!!!(I'm looking for a slender but bosomy broad, particularly a buxom blonde about 5'6",120-135 lb.)

[beefcakebradybatson]

"Thick" usually means two fitty to three bills. Not for me, laddie.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson You are always so specific with your wants lol

[beefcakebradybatson]

I don't hide my wants and thoughts. Never did, and why would I as a 72-year-old stroke survivor?

[Wuai201]

I'm not even that light, I'm in the middle, but my ex friend (darkskin) told me I get more men because I'm light-skinned and I don't know how to use them. Also, that I have "light-skin" thinking

[Hardon-Collider]

They are a mix of truth and prejudice. 'Redbone' is a physical fact. It describes a specific blood constitution with a high iron content, a trait common in the indigenous peoples of the Americas. Your light skin is a secondary, but real, manifestation of this same physical tendency. The prejudice comes from misinterpreting this physical fact as a hierarchy of value. The solution isn't to deny the physical reality, but to develop spiritually and learn to see the individual 'I', which is not of any race, but belongs to the whole of humanity.

[genericname85]

colorism? are we now making up yet another redundand "ism" to solidify our victim complex? we have racism already. isn't that enough?

[Asker]

colorism within the Black community has been a serious emotional and psychological battle"

[Asker]

This is a black issue so I would only expect a poc or black person to understand

[genericname85]

"This is a black issue so I would only expect a poc or black person to understand" so you're a racist. cause what you did there is "race splaining" as if "race" enables you to relate to basic human emotions, not intellect or cognitive ability independend of life experience or skin color.

can you even articulate, what exactly the difference between "racism" and your idea of "colorism" is?

[genericname85]

like imagine i said "oh you wouldn't understand cause you're black". do you see how insanely racist that is?

[Asker]

I’m not even racist

[genericname85]

ok but what you said there is racist xD anyway. what's the difference between "racism" and "colorism"?

[Asker]

You made the topic not sound serious

[Asker]

You literally said making up yet another redundand😒

[genericname85]

well am i wrong? i'm open to being shown i'm wrong.

[genericname85]

like if someone doesn't like hanging out with someone else because of their skin color, that's racist. right? so why does it matter if you don't hang out with someone cause they're white or brown or yellow or just slightly less brown than you are? it's all racist no?

[Asker]

Skin color doesn’t matter to me

[genericname85]

so then what's different between colorism and racism? i'm still trying to get it.

[Asker]

Colorism favoring lighter skin tones over darker. Racism-the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another.

[genericname85]

so you're saying it's just about preference for certain skin tones even within one "race"?

[Asker]

Yes it’s a black issue

[genericname85]

xD i was gonna say that i fully agree with you untill you said "it's a black issue". that's racist again. because don't you think that everyone else may be having preferences for skin color shades as well? not just blacks? i mean i know for a fact that east Asian folks have the same shit going on culturally too. and i would also agree it's preference not racism. so i kind of disagree with the "ism" suffix cause that has all sorts of negative connotations but you changed my mind on it being a separate thing from racism :)

[Asker]

My question is talking about black people and black people issues

[Asker]

You realize saying blacks is considered offensive and racist towards black people right?

[Asker]

My focus is on black people not Asian or other people of different races. I don’t talk about their issues because I’m not in their position.

[Asker]

Colorism is bias and preferring lighter skin over darker skin

[genericname85]

black people don't have exclusive issues. people are all the same. you can alwas generalize problems cause humans are inherently all the same. i think it's that kind of separatist thinking that is the foundation for actual racism. it's all just personal preferences and people do have different preferences. so yeah somene may like you or not because of your shade of skin color but that doesn't mean you're overall more or less attractive to an entire ethnicity of people because of your particular shade of skin color.

[Asker]

Again my question is talking about the black community and what black people think

[beefcakebradybatson]

I guess, but my 160+ IQ frees me from those dull-normal racial tropes.

[Asker]

Lucky

[beefcakebradybatson]

Then add my coal-black hue and boyish good looks at age seventy-two and you've got... beefcakebradybatson !!!

[Asker]

That’s nice