When a guy says he wants to “take things slow” What does actually mean? (We haven't had sex)?

Question

When a guy says he wants to “take things slow” What does that actually mean? Hi Reddit, I (23F) have been seeing a guy (27M, German) and I’m really confused about his behavior. We’ve been on 4 dates so far, and he’s usually the one initiating. On our 2nd and 3rd dates, he took me out to dinner and insisted on paying, even though I offered. At the end of our 3rd date, after we made out, I said, “If you want, I can come to your place.” He replied, “It’d be better if I drop you off here,” and even waited with me at the subway for 20 minutes. During our 4th date, after kissing me, he told me he wants to “take things slow” and not rush into a relationship. He also mentioned he had promised himself not to get into a relationship this year. I asked, “Are you totally closed off to a relationship then?” and he said he’s “not closed to it.” Before the date ended, he told me he’d be in Amsterdam for 6 days and suggested: “When I’m back, let’s meet on Friday.” I agreed. But when Friday came… he never texted. I eventually caved and messaged him that night (“Hey, how’s it going?”). We chatted a bit—he told me he was going on a fishing trip with friends and asked me questions, but he never brought up our plan to meet. So now I’m confused. Do you think he’s lost interest? If he’s not interested, then why bring up “taking it slow” and talking about relationships in the first place?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

First things first, this is not Reddit but G@G, just in case you did not realize that you posted the same question here as you probably did on half a dozen of social sites. You should have checked the name of the social media before you copied/pasted your question.

Now, taking it slow for him means no fornication for a while. Probably that he will think of it after the 10th. date. He is not in a hurry to be intimate. To me, that sounds as if that guy is a keeper and that he does not place copulation on his priority list in a relationship.

Those kind of men are indeed rare. Most of them want to get into your pants before the first date even ended.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

“Take things slow,” would mean he’s not looking for a fling with you, he respects you, and he wants to be certain about whether he wants to develop a relationship with you.

However! I think he is full of garbage! He’s hiding something. He either;

1. Lost interest

2. Is married

3. Doing something illegal

or

3. Perusing other relationships

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he is playing you to be honest, it sounds like there is another girl on the picture , my advice to you is to no longer waste anymore of your time on him because when a guy really likes a girl , he wants to be with her as much as possible and he makes her his top priority , not the other way around , , the fact that he didn’t call you when he said he was is another big red flag , do yourself a favor and move on from his ass

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Is he married and doesn't want to have sex with you until he tells you.

He's gay and needs you for a cover.. to be honest. I dont know but we both no something is off what days did you date. Was it on a weekend. Or work days

fantasticass · Answer

When you have sex with a guy on the third date, he is finished with you. He got what he wanted, now you are nothing to him. He has another woman in his life, so move on and don't contact him again!!. Please date a guy for at least 3 months before having sex

glennos89 · Answer

It's usually a good sign because it means he isn't out there just to get laid. That being said he does have to keep putting effort into you. If he doesn't really keep up the communication with you like he used to do so far, then he might be giving someone else his attention.
But you probably would be wise to see where things lead to. Men that aren't looking for quick sex are usually looking for a long term relationship with you

Anonymous · Answer

There might be another girl and he's still weighing his options OR worst, he's married. Just use his phone number and do a background check on him. That's how I find out they are married. Now I do this each time before even considering going on a date.

i_Jedi · Answer

It usually means he likes you but doesn’t want to rush into things. Sometimes it’s sweet, like he’s actually trying to build a real connection. Other times it’s just guy code for “I’m figuring out what I want, so let’s not sprint to the bedroom yet.” You’ll know which one it is by how he treats you outside of that convo.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Hmmm, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that he probably wants to “take things slow”

Sorry I lost interest because you copied and pasted from Reddit , so I gave my reply the same attention you gave your question

durden1718 · Answer

Married more than likely, no guy is going to turn down that unless he doesn't find you attractive, and if he didn't find you attractive i dont think he would have gone to lengths of taking you out on several dates. Or he could be sexually inexperienced and is afraid. It has to be one of the 2.

Zionne · Answer

“Taking things slow” usually means he is not ready for a serious relationship. His missed plans and lack of follow-up show he might not be prioritizing you. You should pay attention to how his actions make you feel.

WhitneySnow · Answer

He’s interested. He just wants to take it slow and not rush into things. He really does like you.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

At almost 32, lol 😂 I've either slowed down or I'm not bothering to date / so I stay single 🤍😋 plus I'm particular about women - picky

Abbycado · Answer

If you can’t figure out what it means by ready your own post, I don’t know what to tell you.

Anonymous · Answer

I would tell him, then you don't mind my dating other people while you take it slow? Because that pace would burn out my prime years.

Allmenrsick · Answer

I guess he want to go slow because he had bad experience before

foxsquirrell · Answer

First thing that comes to mind is that he is not exactly keen on marrying you in a couple of months or so.

Celticwolf78 · Answer

He wants to make sure that you are the right person and doesn't want to lose you so he wants to go slow

qwerty2469 · Answer

It means he doesn't trust you. Point. Blank. Period.

Anonymous · Answer

He maybe hurted from the last relationship he had. And he wants to get things slow totaly underdtandble. You gotta show him some respect

Likes2drive · Answer

Sounds like he has trust issues from a bad breakup

Staximus · Answer

This is not reddit

Pterodon · Answer

He’s keeping his options open

In_Trance · Answer

It means you should ask him for clarification

Anonymous · Answer

It means he is not ready for sex.

MasterKS · Answer

just wanted to create impression.

Anonymous · Answer

He is boring.

When a guy says he wants to “take things slow” What does actually mean? (We haven't had sex)?

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