Why are so many women choosing to stay single and not having kids?

[Anonymous]

Research has projected that 45% of all women 18 to 45 would be single and childless by 2030.

[Spencer10]

Probably plenty of reasons from living in a society that does not support mothers and families, the cost of raising children, the sacrifices some women have to make to have children and the difficulty finding a suitable mate willing to be a good father. I am willing to bet there are many more.

[animesenpai]

Cost of living and generally poor outlook on the future of the world... I want kids but I sure as shit can't afford it and I sure as hell don't want to bring them into this shit show

[Summeroflove]

A lot of men are too. I think it’s just seeing people in toxic relationships seeing how many marriages don’t make it and how genuinely miserable so many people are in relationships. As well as if they themselves have been in these relationships.

Do not get me wrong. People in happy fulfilled relationships tend to be the happiest and live longer. But people in miserable relationships…. Tend to die sooner and be the most unhappy.

[Asker]

so you think having no one to talk to, laugh with, nobody who cares about you... tend to live happy lives?

haha i don't think so.

being single is unhappy too.

[Summeroflove]

Asker you aren’t wrong. But finding the right relationship is important. Imagine hvaint someone you can’t laugh or ever be yourself around.

It’s better to be single then with the wrong person. But I also agree being lonley too long isn’t good either

[Asker]

@summeroflove

there is no such thing as the perfect person, the perfect fit, the perfect relationship.

you try your best to make the relationship work, resolve issues, work through rough patches in the marriage.

there is no such thing as a marriage where it is all the time. At some points, vicious fights will occur. Hard times WILL COME. Don't leave marriage, thinking that you married the wrong person. You're divorced because you just REFUSE TO WORK ON CONFLICT.

its not that hard to find the "right person", you just need to lower your standards.

Marriage is about making it work with an IMPERFECT person, not finding the perfect person.

NObody will fit you like a puzzle.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

people act like finding the right person is like designing their own ideal wife/husband.

nobody will fit your "ideals" completely. There will always be something you hate about this person. there will always be something LACKING in this person. You can't say this person is not the right person. You try to make things work with a flawed person.

As long as you both are able and willing to work through conflict, marriage won't be an issue

[Summeroflove]

You’re correct nobody is perfect. But there are healthy relationships and unhealthy ones. People who expect someone to be perfect tend to make other peoples lives a living hell.

Especially because they expect to be accepted for their imperfections.

[Summeroflove]

Well. You’re not wrong. But peope see bad relationships and have been in them… until they don’t want to bother anymore is my point.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

"bad relationships" are made up of people who REFUSE to work on their problems. But rather CAUSE problems.

understand that.

Bad relationships resolve itself when two people fight to make things work.

The truth is... most people nowadays don't work on their relationships because they are CONSTANLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE BETTER THAN THE LAST

You didn't marry the wrong person. You just married someone who doesn't want to make things work. Relationships require hard work. Nothing good comes out of laziness and selfishness

if you go through life.. demanding the right person, perfect person, perfect match, perfect fit, you will most likely die all alone, lonely, neglected and NOBODY WILL CARE ABOUT YOU

[Summeroflove]

I’ve said that for ages. And unfortunately sometimes one partner or the other tries putting all the effort into the relationship while the other refuses.

[Summeroflove]

People who are looking for better are generally never happy. Most cheat

[Asker]

@summeroflove

thats the problem... most people who get married nowadays, do NOT understand the concept of marriage.

marriage is not staying with the person in good days but ditch during bad days.

marriage is staying with the person through good and worst times in life.

if you are constantly looking for someone better than the last, don't get married.

[Asker]

if you want a free ticket to leave once rough times settle in, don't get married.

people just don't understand what marriage actually is.

[Summeroflove]

Many people want a easy ride. They get carried away by emotions and fantasies. And as soon as bad times come they run. As well as even in the good times nothings good enough.

Many people don’t stay with their partners during bad times. They run… they jump ship if they can. Even if the other person stayed with them in their darkest hours.

[Summeroflove]

Especially financial issues. I agree people shouldn’t stay with someone whose cheating or abusive.

But people should honor their vows.

[Summeroflove]

Well…. And that’s true. Many people marry for the wrong reasons entirely.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

i don't think people marry for the wrong reasons. I think that most people tend to marry for love. but love is overrated in today's society.

But I think that people are just too selfish to realize that marriage is not designed to only serve their needs. Marriage is a life to death partnership, no matter where two people are in life.

[Summeroflove]

And many people are one sided. You’re right. Sometimes one person married for love and the other doesn’t.

But sometimes yeah people do feel love. Until hard times come

[Asker]

@summeroflove

i don't think that some people don't marry for love. I honestly don't know of many people who would marry someone they have absolutely no feelings for.

but it requires a love for your spouse that is stronger than the love for yourself

most people love themselves more than their spouse.

and most people do not respect marriage. if you see someone who divorced someone due to petty reasons... it means they do not respect marriage.

[Summeroflove]

Well people who can’t make genuine connections the way you can…. Don’t think like you do. So it’s VERY weird. Trust me.

They think in terms of financial benefits. Social status. What someone can do for them. Etc etc.

For most people marrying someone they don’t love is absolutely disgusting

[Summeroflove]

And that love has to go both ways. If both people put one another first. That’s beautiful. But if it’s one sided. One person will be completely drained

[Asker]

@summeroflove

Most people marry someone they love. Love is way too overblown in our media, society.
But its just they love themselves more than their partner.
Just because you love your wife, it does not mean you love her more than yourself.

[Asker]

[For most people marrying someone they don’t love is absolutely disgusting]

do you realized that for thousands of years all throughout history, people haven't married for love?
back then, divorce never existed.

marrying for love is a relatively new concept that emerged just a few decades ago.

as soon as people began marrying for love, marriage stopped working.

[Summeroflove]

Their idea of love sometkmes. And you’re right many people can feel love and marry for the wrong reasons.

It’s just some people literally don’t feel love

[Summeroflove]

Look. I’m not here to argue. It is what it is…. People did a lot of things back then.

If you wanna marry someone and be bound to them no matter what. I mean…. Your progative

[Asker]

@summeroflove

you don't need to marry for love to live a happy marriage.

people haven't married for love for thousands of years... and things worked out.

[Summeroflove]

People also used to kill people for adulatory. Yeah cheating is wrong…. But. It’s not a death sentence.

Why would you fight so hard to keep someone if you don’t love them? Makes no sense

[Asker]

there's nothing wrong with marrying for stability or status or economic reasons.

All you need to understand is that shouldn't just divorce once that stability goes away.

As for marrying for love, you can also certainly fall out of love with someone. Love is not a guarantee of anything.

[Summeroflove]

But soon as someone looses their money. Someone who married for financial reasons will leave

[Summeroflove]

Neither is marrying for money or social status. Would you live on the streets if you married a man who had money and he lost it?

I mean come on.

[Asker]

[Why would you fight so hard to keep someone if you don’t love them? Makes no sense]

because you respect marriage. Respecting marriage means you respect your vows that you took. Even though you are no longer physically attracted to your old fat wife, you refuse to divorce her. Even though you get into vicious fights with your wife over the past few years after the baby is born, you refuse to divorce her because you respect your vows. Even though your husband can't have sex with you cuz his dick no longer works due to prostate cancer, you stay with him because you respect your vows.

this is what marriage SHOULD LOOK LIKE

[Summeroflove]

So. Even if your husband looses his money and you’re on the street. You stay by him….

Look. You’re not getting the answer you want to hear from me. If you’re honest about what you want and someone is willing to marry you. Great.

But you wanna argue. You want me to tell you what you want to hear. It’s not the first time I’ve had this issue with you.

[Summeroflove]

You ask the same question 100 times wanting 100 different answers

[Asker]

[Neither is marrying for money or social status. Would you live on the streets if you married a man who had money and he lost it?]

who said you should dump your husband if he ever loses his money?

Everyone SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT to pick a spouse that BENEFITS them.

Its not morally wrong to prefer marrying someone who is attractive or has a lot of money.

As long as you UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE, if they get old and ugly, you don't leave them. If they lose their wealth, you don't leave them.

You would be lying to yourself if you think there are people who would love to marry someone ugly and poor.

[Summeroflove]

I mean. Really one of the vows is for rich or for poor. Meaning. If you’re in poverty later in life for whatever hypothetical reason…

This happens a lot. People are financially stable. Then kids happen…. Or something happens.

[Summeroflove]

Okay. Same concept. If you marry someone with money and they loose their money. You don’t leave. You’re stuck.

If you’re on the streets. Then.::: you’re on the street. Right?

[Asker]

[But you wanna argue. You want me to tell you what you want to hear. It’s not the first time I’ve had this issue with you.]

because you have a very fucked up view of marriage.

YOU CAN FALL OUT OF LOVE ANY TIME IN MARRIAGE. IT HAPPENS.

YOUR SPOUSE CAN LOSE THEIR WEALTH ANY TIME IN MARRIAGE.

DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

Marriage means being married to someone EVEN WHEN YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH THEM.

Marriage means staying during good times and also bad times.

LOVE DOES NOT GUARANTEE ANYTHING. PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE ALL THE TIME.

[Summeroflove]

I mean. Marry who you want..:. That’s fine. If you marry for money and you marry someone you don’t love. You never laugh together or anything. Fine.

Look. It’s your life not mine. I’m not telling you what to do. But you seem to wanna force your way on everyone else. And obviously if you’re still single it’s not working well for you

[Summeroflove]

Yeah… and peope marry for financial reasons too. And end up leaving.

[Summeroflove]

I mean. Plus. Some marriages are abusive or there is affairs. I think if someone has a affair or abuses their spouse. You should have a right to leave

[Asker]

[If you’re on the streets. Then.::: you’re on the street. Right?]

yes, that is the definintion of marriage.

marriage means sticking together through thick and thin.

No, its not right to divorce your wife because she's old and ugly. Now you want a hotter younger wife.

No, its not right to divorce your husband because he lost his wealth.

No , its not right to divorce your wife because she can no longer have sex because she is now disabled.

No, its not right to divorce your spouse because you fell out of love...

Marriage is a partnership where two people stick together NO MATTER WHAT.

Unless if your spouse is abusive toward you or trying to kill you, you shouldn't be divorcing.

[Asker]

see? you're exactly the type of person who STAYS DURING GOOD TIMES BUT DITCH DURING BAD TIMES.

Marriage is not about you winning. Marriage is about two people VOWING TO STAY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

If you want to divorce your wife once she gets fat and old, you shouldn't be getting married.

if you want to divorce your husband once he loses his wealth, you shouldn't be getting married.

you're better off being boyfriend/ girlfriend

[Summeroflove]

All you wanna do is argue. It takes seriously loving someone to stay with them throuhj hard times and when they aren’t as physically attractive anymore.

Yes. Some people make it. No…. Many don’t. Love is a choice. Respect is a choice.

But. You want me to tell you what you wanna hear. It’s not gonna happen…. If what you’re doing is working for you. Then it works for you.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t agree with ditching during hard times. Unless there is cheating or abuse.

I’m just saying. Most marriages fail…: as soon as trouble comes

[Asker]

@summeroflove

people lose their money, people fall out of love, people lose their looks, people lose their energy, people get sick, people lose their sex drive. It happens all throughout life. Its normal. But if you keep divorcing once any 1 of these things happen, you shouldn't be getting married.

[Summeroflove]

And yes. People can be infatuated but then start having feelings for people outside the marriage. Trust me some are led too much bt emotions.

But. Look…. Do what’s right for you. That’s all a I’ve got to say. If your way of thinking only works if you can make everyone else think like you. Okay…

[Summeroflove]

That I agree with and I don’t know why you think I disagree. Unless you just lack basic reading comprehension.

You just wanna argue. That’s all you wanna do

[Summeroflove]

I do think people should divorce if there is abuse or cheating though. That I won’t change my mind on

[Asker]

throughout your life, you may even FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE other than your wife.

You might find another woman much more attractive than your wife.

but do you abandon your wife for someone better? NO!

Because there will always be someone better than your wife.

But you made a conscious decision to only be with your wife and nobody else.

Marriage is not about finding the ultimate, perfect, best person. Its about making the conscious decision to stay together.

[Summeroflove]

Ok. But if a man sleeps with another woman. Should his wife stay? No.

If you make a effort to fight those feelings off. Not indulge in them. Not Jack off to porno or read it all day like a degenerate. But more times then not… that’s what people do. Until the fantasy isn’t enough anymore

[Asker]

@summeroflove

[But. Look…. Do what’s right for you. That’s all a I’ve got to say. If your way of thinking only works if you can make everyone else think like you. Okay…]

the more you glorify and worship divorce, the less likely your marriage will work out.

the reason why divorce is so common nowadays is because people are CONSTANTLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE BETTER THAN THE LAST.

You look for every reason WHY YOU SHOULD STAY MARRIED instead of looking for every reason why you should get a divorce.

You're exactly 100% the type of modern dude who does not understand marriage.

Marriage is not about satisfying all your needs. Marriage is a partnership that you VOWED to stay in through THICK AND THIN

[Summeroflove]

I don’t glorify divorce by saying people should leave in abuse or cheating instances. Sorry! I don’t want a STD from my spouse.

People will get divorced. Do what works for YOU….. if this works so well for you then stop bitching at me

[Summeroflove]

You are just another argumentative troll. No I won’t stay with someone abusive or who has a affair.

Sorry. I’m not. And I wouldn’t expect someone else to stay with me if I did thatn

[Asker]

@summeroflove

there are some people who would do absolutely anything to stay married... then there are those who look for every reason to get a divorce.

it depends on the way you look at it.

wife got old and fat? divorce

husband can't have sex and has prostate cancer? divorce

husband loses wealth? divorce

wife gets sick and is too hard to care for? divorce

your husband is too old to keep up with you anymore? divorce

the wife pays more attention to baby than husband? divorce

wife loses hair? divorce

wife keeps arguing with you about how you are always too tired to help with the kids? divorce

[Summeroflove]

I agree those aren’t valid reasons for divorce

[Summeroflove]

Which I’ve said that… and you keep repeating yourself like a broken record. Off and on you been spewing the same crap for years now.

I never said someone should divorce for any of the reasons you mentioned

[Asker]

@summeroflove

All I'm saying is... most of these divofces aren't necessary. Its just people don't understand the concept of marriage.

If you keep looking for a reason to divorce, you will always find reasons to divorce.

People change throughout life. People get old and ugly. People lose wealth. People fall out of love. People's lives get hard when kids are born.

I know my parents argued for MANY years when my brother and I were young due to stress. Things got better for them once we got older and more independent.
My parents could have easily divorced but they stayed together and now they're happy

[Summeroflove]

Well….. you’re right. Let them divorce. You find whose right for you. Yes people can work through issues. Even sometimes cheating.

But I do think in that case you have a right to leave.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

A lot of women are choosing it because they finally feel allowed to build a life that actually fits them.

Staying single or not having kids isn’t about rejecting love, it’s about protecting their peace, freedom, and identity.

When the right partner and the right life show up, many women are open to it.

They just don’t want to settle anymore.

[Asker]

"someone that fits you"? there will never be anyone that fits you perfectly. Talking this way is like believing in fairy tales.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

I’m not talking about a “perfect fit.”

Just someone whose values, pace, and intentions don’t clash with yours.

No relationship is flawless, but compatibility matters.

Fairy tales aren’t real but alignment and effort definitely are.

[Asker]

@bitter_sweet94

no relationship is without fights... without rough patches... no spouse is without flaws...

its about how you navigate these problems.

divorce comes when people give up on their relationships too easily, not that they married the wrong person

marriage is not the problem, the problem is that people are always looking for someone better than the last.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Exactly, rough patches are part of any relationship.

That’s why finding someone whose values and pace align with yours makes navigating them much smoother.

[Anonymous]

I can’t speak for everyone else but I actually do want children but I cannot them. Some other women probably have the same problem as me. They want kids but cannot afford them.

[Asker]

so sorry

[Nikki1989]

So many?

I don't know any.

[Anonymous]

Can't wait for you to get off your fake pink account and switch to your blue one and answer your own question.

[Ariesman81]

They're not choosing it. They're just incels who aren't capable of securing the man they want.

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter? Better they stay single if that's what they really want rather than ruin 3 lives.👍

[jahaims]

Bad economy, poor cultural and societal values

[MasterKS]

easy, casual sex life.