Why is my boyfriend pissed off at me for telling him about my day?

[Anonymous]

I was at the laundromat waiting in line to load my card up with credits. This older man in front of me turns around and asks how i am. Trying to be nice (I'm not a social person) i respond “I'm doing well thanks.”This man proceeded to tell me i look good. I say thanks and then load my card and move on to washing my comforter. I then move to an empty area in the back to be alone and read my book.

My timer goes off i go to check if my blanket is done drying. It’s not so i add some more time and go back to where i was sitting in my little ducked off area.
This man must of saw me and comes walking over initiating a conversation and sits in the same little area i was in. Clearly i was on my phone trying to make it as obvious as possible i wasn’t trying to talk. This guy didn’t get the hint and continued to talk to me. I wasn’t trying to be rude or an asshole so I briefly responded and would get back on my phone. A younger couple peeked their head around the corner signing to see if i was okay. Which i was and i wasn’t trying to make a scene he was just wanting to talk i guess.

Anyways my timer goes off so i get up get my blanket. My blanket wasn't done drying because the door ended up opening on my dryer so it wasn’t drying the whole time i was sitting there. But i wasn’t comfortable staying so i took it and left. I get home and start telling my boyfriend this and he was instantly heated and asked why i didn’t get up initially if i was “so creeped out” and i must of like the attention from this guy to stay there sitting next to him. And then asked if he was a black guy and of course he was ( he thinks im attracted to all black guy since my ex was black).

Am i in the wrong for sitting there still. My boyfriend makes me feel like i should of handled that situation differently. Why is my boyfriend so upset at me over it. Its not like i was flirting with this guy or him flirting with me other than telling me i looked good. He was just some older fat man.

[HollyK21]

I should start by saying that I don’t think you were necessarily wrong, I’m also a very friendly person, I’m the sort to have random conversations with people regardless of sex. So to an extent I get where you were coming from, but I do believe this interaction was a bit problematic.


If this guy were, for example, doing laundry next to you and struck up a very casual conversation, then that wouldn’t have set off any bells and honestly you may not have even mentioned it to your boyfriend, because it would’ve been insignificant. However, that wasn’t the case here. This man had already complimented your appearance, saying you looked good, and to me that would make his intentions going forward very clear, because he had already relayed interest.


From there on, I do believe you could’ve shut him down once he came over and started trying to have conversation. Again, I think it would’ve been a different story had there been that innocence the whole time, but he made it clear from the start that he was trying to hit on you. On your end, you were probably just being polite and you thought you were making it obvious that you weren’t interest in talking. But you’ve got to keep in mind that not everyone has good social cues, and I think as a woman who is at least moderately familiar with how some men behave, then you know that they will purposely not “catch the hint” because those men are egotistical and treat being rejected as some sort of obstacle course to surpass rather than respecting a boundary you are trying to set. This is something you were picking up on, and probably could’ve done better about telling him to fuck off, knowing you had the support of other customers who were already keeping an eye on the situation. But you didn’t.


So was your boyfriend wrong for how he felt? To an extent yes, he didn’t have to accuse you of enjoying the attention and he doesn’t have to fetishize black men in the way he does (which sounds like something worth addressing because he’s seemingly insecure about it and shouldn’t be referencing your ex at all). But I do agree that a firmer boundary could’ve been set on your behalf, and can moderately understand his frustration with your lack of doing so.

[White_Widow]

Well it sounds like he is insecure.

And no, you are not in the wrong for having stayed there, especially because as soon as you didn't feel comfortable anymore you got your stuff and left.

But its seems he can't handle the idea that someone might be attracted to you and the idea of you giving that someone else attention. (Especially since that didn't happen)

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend's reaction is rooted in insecurity and unhealthy jealousy rather than your actual behavior. You are not in the wrong for how you handled a persistent stranger while trying to do your laundry.

This is a classic red flag. Insecure partners often claim their significant other enjoys the attention to justify their own anger and control your future social interactions.

Healthy partners react with empathy when you share a stressful or creepy experience. Reacting with heat, accusations, and racial remarks is considered unhealthy and potentially toxic behavior.

Good luck.

[Jeff51]

Your question is reading a book. Lol. Maybe he's tired of a book too. When I get home and wife asks me how's my day, I say fine. Keep is simple.

[Jeff51]

Thank you for the MHO

[Nikki1989]

Insecure boys will be like that. Find yourself a real man.

[Anonymous]

I love this world we live in.😆😆😆