How do you handle long distance relationship?

[MikkiM]

I'm still in the get to know stage? What can you advice to succeed into that stage into relationship? And if you are in LDR relationship now, how did you have a successful relationship?

[sawno]

We had the benefit of being telepathic with each other so that made it feel really close. Its not a thing where you suddenly hear your partners voice or anything, but you feel their presence when you talk to them or when they think about you. You feel the physical love you send each other, its an amazing experience. If it happens to you don't dismiss it as your imagination, talk to your partner if they notice it to or were just thinking about you and who knows what that brings.

Other than that emulate in person, get apps such as Element that let you talk securely to each other in an encrypted way and let you call each other on video. Video call often, do activities you can both enjoy online such as watch movies, playing games, deep diving in an interesting subject, etc. Buy a remote vibrator he can control if you want him to have a physical effect on your body remotely, that kinda thing.

[bowenw]

From my observations, communication is even more important in a LDR than one in person because you don't get to see body language if you are only texting and long gaps between messages can make the mind wonder. Try to share as much as you can about yourselves, even details that may seem boring or insignificant. Also try to make them feel a part of your life by sharing a lot of pictures of what you are doing. Tell them often how you feel about them.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[HollyK21]

I’ve tried and LDR twice and my verdict is that unless there’s some feasible plan to close the distance, then it will not work. It can be draining, both emotionally and financially. When you’re unable to spend time together then topics and conversations become boring, redundant, repetitive. I wouldn’t even begin down that road unless it was already a plan for one of us to move, and we are just biding time for a handful of months until then. Without that silver lining, it’s essentially glorified pen pals.

[sawno]

The topic part can be very specific, in my LDR we usually were able to have long chats. Not every day but most days our chats naturally morphed into something deep and interesting. And then on the days where there wasn't much fuel we'd just spend it playing online games, watching a movie together, etc.

[HollyK21]

Funnily enough, in one of my LDR situations we did the same. I don’t do as much online gaming as I used to, but around that time I was heavily into that, it’s actually how me and this guy met. We bonded a lot over hopping online in our free time, sometimes joining parties with other friends and it worked well for like the first 2-3 months. But over the course of the last 3 (6 in total), it just became very hard for me because we were never able to spend time together. During that time, we’d only met in person twice and aside from that, it was just too hard to get together. We were only 2 hours apart, but I didn’t drive at the time, he had no car and between trying to arrange a rental or rideshare, it got expensive whereas we both didn’t have the funds at the time. Without being able to hang out and create memories, it was like the conversations became dull. If we weren’t talking about the game, we often clashed when talking about our real life issues or opinions about different topics. He talked about working for his uncle’s auto shop in my city early on, which gave me hope, but there were constant excuses about that. It was just a lot of drama Sawno lol. But I hear you for sure, you try building up the substance within that connection ultimately for it to fizzle out. It’s a really tough dynamic but kudos to those who have somehow made it work!

[sawno]

Sounds like a bad foundation more so than the ldr aspect. I don't think being in person would have fixed it if your talks went bad because of things like political differences. Me and her were very on the same page on most things. And where we were not there was no conflict and actual productive discussion rather than hating each other. Very much a process of growing towards each other.

So inagine for a moment you meet another guy online and he is perfect for you in every way except he can't make it short distance the coming year. Do you think that would work? Would it be worth fighting for? For me the answer is yes, but I always have been a very mental person so as long as the mental experience is good the physical can wait.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I don't really believe in advice, not when there is something much more significant at hands in that context.

That something is how fine both parties truly are with the situation. Truly, when neither of them are tempted to embellish what they feel, when they don't try to reassure for the sake of reassuring. How fine in the now, they both are, and how fine when asked to anticipate their future.

With that information, I can view the fate of a long distance relationship. In fact, of any relationship at all...

[Nikki1989]

You don't. Most people probably have people living in their same street as them whom they can date.

[kembguy]

Not really

[slatyb]

You make a plan to meet, and a plan to get together if it works. If you cannot due to borders or one is unwilling due to family pressure, it's just a pleasant correspondence.

[exitseven]

You have to make sure both participants are invested in the relationship and there has to be some kind of endgame where someday the two of you will be together.

[In_Trance]

You don't

[Anonymous]

I would never waste my time with such nonsense.

[imemma12]

Just does not work out lots but not sure overall