She never initiates and rarely asks questions about me? What is this?

I talk with this girl online. We went to "date parties" together. I've been to two of them with her, she asked me, and I asked her. We actually kissed twice at the last one. We shoot pool together too now.

Question I have is does she just want to be friends? Because she never initiates conversation online really, and she rarely asks me questions. I also flirted with her saying, "hey cutie, what's up" earlier and there was no response and then she signed off.

I'm I thinking into this too much? (it's just frustrating)

What could I do differently?

Should I stop trying to pursue her and just accept being friends?

f*** it


Most Helpful Guy

  • When there is nothing there. Top Signs

    • Never initiates calls or texts –when does always general like “where are you guys” or “I need some information” - nothing to say hello now and again

    • Never makes or accepts plans for lunch or anything else

    • Avoids contact where in past was always around

    • When does talk its always about self or asks advise on projects nothing about your life

    • Never wants to be alone with you

    • When or if responds to text or calls – takes very long and is very brief. 4 word sentences or 30 second call and states needs to go

    • You offer small gifts every now and again as a friendly “just thinking about them”, they never do

    • They set rules when you can call or text them

    • They say nothing of value – like “ hope all is well”, “awesome dude”, “was just thinking of you”, or “Thanks for that”, never leading into a conversation

    • They break plans without suggesting an alternate date like “no, sorry I have plans” when asking to set them

    Most people who want to have no friendship or anything else will show most of the above signs. Just Move on to another that gives back to you as what you put into it. It’s a two way street.

    As a suggestion, delete the persons number from your phone book as to avoid a hunger to reach out to them. If they want to speak to you, they will initiate contact. And if they ever do contact you, follow their conversation. If they write a 3 word conversation you do the same and only reply once or twice then just stop.

    We have all Been there! Go out with some Dignity and Respect! A person must understand reality, and not what they perceive it to be.

    • More more bullet point to add .. If they don’t know how to answer something they avoid the question all together rather than discussing it like it was never asked..

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Give her some space and if she initiates contact then she probably likes you as more than a friend but if she doesn't try contacting you then just let it be. It could be a number of reasons why she's acting like this, my guess is that she likes you considering you guys kissed more than once but there's another guy and so she's confused. Let her sort her stuff out and come to you when she's good and ready. In the mean time don't wait around cause she might not come around. Also don't rely on talking online, try asking for her number and see if she gives it to you or hesitates. Good luck :)

  • Don't know. That's not much to go on. You have to look at non-verbal cues with women sometimes. If we like you, we have to feel secure that you won't run away if we tell you. We like you guys are scared of rejection...actually more so. Try making her feel comfortable and even telling her you like her a lot. If she starts saying she wants to be friends, you'll have your answer.

    • I also told her I really like spending time with her and she's the only one I want to kiss. She didn't reply to it. But after I said "Merry Xmas", she said, "You too."

    • Then that's a baseball bat over the a nice way. She was avoiding it obviously and ignoring it. It's probably the same way you would act if you saw a girl just as your friend who said the same thing. Don't take it personal. Usually with us it has nothing to do with how you look or maybe even what you do in the beginning. It's about chemicals and she's not feeling them.

  • She's probably not interested in being more than friends. You'll just have to accept that. Being a girl, this is a sure sign because most girls will want to talk or talk about their feelings and girls are conversationalists and will ask questions more than guys.

    • Question for you sweet17 I am in a similar situation, where she never contacts me its me always contacts her, but she always responds, however she doesn't ask any questions about me exept how I am doing, is she interested or not

    • Most likely, she isn't. Does she ever ask you on dates or hint that she wants to go on one with you? I would try not contacting her for a few days and see if she contacts you of her own accord.

What Guys Said 2

  • Best thing is to not to initiate contact for a while, let her initiate contact. See if she tried hard, if she does then its possible she likes you and has been thinking about you. If she doesn't bother, then its possible she may wanna remain just friends or ease of you. I wouldn't make too much effort as it seems you have tried really hard. Girls are very complicated creatures and nothing is ever straight forward with them. Their hot and cold tendencies are frustrating and sometimes you wish you get an answer for their actions. So its best to lay off this girl and kind of "ignore" this girl for a bit until she does all the chasing, not you. Good luck :)

  • Whats happened?

    • She'll never just talk to me I think. So I'm most likely on friend island yet again.

    • Personally I advise to just back off her for a while. If she cares for you she will try and contact you to ask how comes you haven't been in touch. However if she doesn't bother contacting you, all you seem to get is blunt replies when you contact her, its possible she is easing of you. Do you really wanna make so much effort with a girl who is not showing the same level of care in return? No. Move on buddy, you deserve better.