I kissed my best friend on new years eve!!! what should I do know?

Anonymous
I have a big problem I am in love with my best friend for a while now and on new years eve at midnight we kissed! everybody said that we stand there kissing for like half an hour! sadly I can't remember it because I got so drunk! but the worst thing is that I told everybody who was at the party that I am so in love with him and all that and he wanted to talk to me so we talked and he said what do you want and I said I want to be with him but I am scared that our friendship will be ruined after so I don't want a relationship because he is to important I would rather stand by his side forever even though it is really hard for me to fight my feelings back! he said that he is very attracted to me and would go into a relationship with me but I don't ... and than I said I don't want him to kiss other girls and he said yes then what do you want you don't want me to kiss other girls but you also don't want me to kiss you I can't be alone forever I need someone by my side! and than he that we should take a break (if I am honest I don't know from what) and I said that I want him to leave now and than I began to cry! and after we talked I saw him kissing another girl! so what does this mean? what should I do know? before he left he came to me and said that when I am sober again we have talk about what was going on but he didn't call me or write me today at all .. so it is kind of obvious that he doesn't want to be with me isn't it? and how should I act when I see him? ignore him or what (because of the break)? pleeeeease help I am devastated
I kissed my best friend on new years eve!!! what should I do know?
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