How can I convince her I won't hurt her again?

[spartan123]

I want to get back with my ex. We split up a month ago and were together for 6 months.

When we split up I was angry and very upset about the break up. I said horrible things to her (which I didn't mean) I ripped up the Valentine's card she gave to me and forced her to give me some ugg boots back which I got her as a gift, which I knew she loved that's why I asked for them back.

I apologized to her deeply and accepted that my behavior was very out of order and deeply regret it. I know its no excuse but at the time of the split it was the first fathers day since my dad past. So it was a very emotional week with the split.

She says she can't get over what I said and done which hurt her deeply. She said she will never forgot it. that's the reason she won't get back with me. She's worried that it would happen again and doesn't want to get hurt.

What can I do or say to her to convince her I won't make the same mistake

[Anonymous]

Talk to your common friend to help you out in this... This is very tricky... IF you love her & really think that this relationship should continue & you can't live without your girl... Take a help of a common friend...
Message your common friend & tell him/her how stupid & what kind of an a***le you were when you did all those wrong things & how much you feel for her & how much you care for her n love her... How much badly you want her back... How badly you are kicking your own a** for the things that you did to her... Say everything how you feel...

Now what your friend must do... is show that text to her... If your feelings are true... You will get your girl back...

Now this is a tricky way where you are using your friend & playing with your girl's mind... If your love is true & intentions are good... & your feelings are clean... I am sure she will melt when she will see that message...

Later if she ever come across you... Just keep calm & tell her that whatever you did was extremely incorrect & you were extremely unhappy since you guys had a fight... Don't try to put your point... Don't try to justify your actions... Just say sorry... n tell her that your actions were extremely wrong & you feel bad the way you behaved with her... All you seek from her is her apology & nothing else... Just say "I am really very sorry... If possible... Please forgive me..." Then just Turn around & start walking... She will call you back...

Remember Everything is Fair in Love n War...

Using Tricks is ok... But never deceive your lover...

Regards,
JB

[YoungtheGiant]

Just be friends and start from there. Don't expect her to lighten up on you. To be honest, to her you're the a**hole who hurt her and that's something really hard to forget. If you're really sorry then show it, put your words into action. If you love her so much you'll wait as long as it takes for her heart to heal which might take along time. Don't be surprised either if she goes off with another guy. In that event don't yell or get mad at her because what do you expect? Just wait for her and after awhile she'll see the guy who won't hurt her ever again.

[snowangle]

I hate to say it, but you can't promise that. You don't know what will happen, you don't know if you might lose it again. And you definitely can't say "I will never ever hurt you again" because all relationships come with risk, and getting hurt is part of giving your heart to someone. She understandably doesn't want to risk herself with you again, so I would say your best option is to give her space.

[Coleen]

The only thing I can see that you can do is be her friend and be nice (be supportive and help her out).

After a long time, she might change her mind.

[spartan123]

I know but I don't want to do all that she ends up taking advantage of it. Using me so to speak.

[Coleen]

Well then, you don't sound like you REALLY want HER back. It sounds to me that you really want the LOVE, attention and feelings that come with being with a woman, etc. (accept for the ocassional fight/bad stuff). I guess you should think about your priorities and how you will go about obtaining your goals and are they worth it. Good luck

[freewill10]

why did you guys start the fight anyway, besides your father dying a year ago?

[spartan123]

it wasn't a fight over my father dying..we had an argument the night before which caused the split. Then during the split I behaved irrational and bad towards her. I'm kicking myself for doing/saying the stuff and I'm so in love with her and want her back. I'm actually kicking myself for the way I acted.

[winherback]

You don't try to "convince her" to do anything