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How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm disgusted by her past? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(30-35) 
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I don't think you have a right to tell her you're disgusted by her past. That's your issue to deal with.
But if it seems like she settled with you because you treat her well but was never and isn't that attracted to you that is an issue.
That's great that you aren't using her for sex, but how is it? Is she okay with it or is she as enthusiastic with you?
People change. Girls are easily tricked. If she made it tough for you, maybe she had learned her lesson at that point and that is why she changed the type of guy she went with and also changed her tactics. It sounds to me that she deserves a break as she isn't that person anymore. Her past before you should never matter, most women have a past they are ashamed of, especially in this day and age. If you love this girl, maybe you should realise it is heartbreaking she was tricked so easily and feel the pain she probably went to being hurt so many times. She is with you probably because you have been decent towards her. You tell her you are disgusted in her and you have done a worse thing than the others. It will hurt her more and you will not get over it. I found out my bf had done some messed up stuff, but i would rather have him in my life than lose him andi am over it now. he's changed his ways for me and he isn't that person now. Same as her.
..Oh and also she probably didn't put out for you as easily as the jerk guys because maybe you are really special to her and different...so that's more of a compliment for you. Those jerk guys were easy...but you aren't...she probs realized this...so if anything...she is treating you with more respect...I mean that's what it sounds like from your description anyway...
You should never judge someone from their past. I'm not even going to bother writing a nice reply to this because it looks like you need some growing up to do smh
So if someone has cheated on others in their past, you should not judge them now?
To the ladies who think that guys should forget about a girl's past. Ok. Then why
don't girls forget about a guy's past? You don't forget about guy's pasts and you
judge them ruthlessly on their past. Guy's are judged by women just as harshly as
men judge women if not harsher. What? You say you don't judge men?
Let's say a guy is straight and has had several girlfriends but six months ago, he went on a voyage of self-discovery and had sex with four or five guys " just to feel what it is like." You are telling me that this would be completely OK with this and wouldn't judge him on this?
Let's take another scenario. You meet an older guy, but not too old. Let's say he is 35. He has his stuff together, he has a nice car, an apartment and a good job. But he is a virgin. He has only had 3 or 4 girlfriends in his life. Would you and all of your friends judge him? Yes. Hell yes. The vast majority of women would run away from this guy just like a vampire runs away from the cross.
Listen to your instincts on this. Peoples past DOES matter and having a list of terrible sexual relationships causes a lot of psychological damage, you deserve better then this! The people you choose to have relationships with matters.
She is making you work for it because she wants your resources, she had her fun now she wants some stability before it's back to the crazy random sex with drug addicts again.
Nobody's perfect. She made mistakes in her past, yes.
But she deserves to be able to move forward with her life.
There are most likely underlying reasons (events, phychological / mental / spiritual elements) WHY she was involved with the guys she was, as well as why she conducted herself the way she did.
But u seem to not care WHY she was the way she was because you're too judgmental.
----
If her past rattles u that much, u should break up with her for the sake of you and her.
You prolly need a girl that has a past as pristine as yours...a guy with a "checkered past" that has reformed is prolly a better match type for this girl.
On the contrary, you can only judge a person by their actions which IS their past. The choices people make and the people they choose to associate with and most especially be intimate with is a HUGE indicator of their character.
Being reluctant or refusing to do business with someone who has a long history of fraud is a wise decision. Being reluctant or refusing to date someone with a history you find disgusting is also a wise decision.
Don't tell her this unless you want to break up with her, if she's the girl of your dreams and you love her, you'll accept her for who she is.
I want to but its hard to accept that she was so disgusting
Well if you don't think you can move past this, then you should break it off before you become more attached than you already are. It's not fair to you or her. And telling her it disgusts you won't make the past go away.
@QA> If you can't talk to her about her past then break up with her...it would do her a favor. After seeing some of your other replies to people and some other peoples answers...I don't think you are being fair to your girlfriend at all. Let her go so she can find someone who actually wants to try to understand her and someone who is more open-minded than you are. You are being a little bitch. -_- I don't care how hard you worked to get her...let her go. My God.
You don't have to have a reason to feel the way you do, if that's how you feel, that's just how you feel. You DON'T, however, have any right to ask her to apologize to you for something she did before you even knew her! That's just ridiculous! If you can't accept her past, then she isn't the girl for you. You deserve someone who you won't feel ashamed with, and she deserves a man who can accept her and love her properly. You seem so upset by this, that I don't see the relationship working.
Have you got first hand evidence (i.e. your girlfriend telling you herself) that's what she was like in the past? You're just trusting what your cousin says at this moment. Unless you actually ask your girlfriend about this you don't know if it's true or not.
Well it's really unfair to judge someone by their past at first. Maybe she has changed. Either way, I think it's fair you give her a chance and some time. And if this really does bother you, then talk to her about it.
Honesty and trust is very important. Do not regret/forget it.
Im not going to write long but think on the long term. To be open wIth each other. Comfortable and faithfulness are pillars. Beauty is vain, but a virtuous women retains honour.
What does it matter it was before she met you she has settle
Down and has been with just you for a while now so don't worry about it I'm sure you have done things in life your not so proud of just let it go
Sit her down && tell her what you heard, && that it bothers you. I mean yeah everyone has a past their not proud of. Shell understand just talk about it calmly.
You either deal with it or break up. Alpha fux, beta bux
The past is past
Enjoy the time you have with her now you 'tard
That's sad...
HAHA your such a little wimp, man up, who cares what your girlfriend did in the past, if you can't get over the fact that she dated some douche bag guys in the past, you really don't deserve a gf.
I person past is their past. As long as she isn't cheating, you're fine. By the way you sound like a troll.
um I wouldn't, everyone has a past good or bad but its the past either get over it or move on what counts is what you do with your future drugs have a way of numbing your senses and you allow yourself to do really stupid things, if she has overcome these things be proud of her and don't bash her for her mistakes because I'm sure she's already ashamed of them and forgiving yourself is hard enough without others judging you
Cause that's what girls do, bro. We date jerks until we meet a guy like you. Let it go.
Do her a favor and break up with her.