If nothing to hide, why do people hang up the phone so fast when the boyfriend/girlfriend walks in the room?

[Anonymous]

How come when after a fight or while in the middle of an argument the boyfriend will call someone but when I come back in the room or anywhere near where he is...if he is on the phone he will hang up quick, or change to one word answers?. If on a day that we don't have an argument he will stay on the phone and talk to "whoever" is on the other line. I think he is hiding something or am I paranoid since he has been found to be talking to other girls before and each time he got caught he says it is his mother.

[aMuse]

You fight with him almost everyday and are always on his case? I'm not saying he's cheating, but with such a messed up relationship there is no way he can feel fulfilled by you so I would not be surprised if he looked for it somewhere else.

[Asker]

No we don't fight daily...usually just when he is drunk. As I am sure he would argue with me if I was drunk. You know when I lost trust in him..."when amazingly a condom disappeared that he supposedly used to satisfy himself by masturbating." I don't believe that for one second.

[aMuse]

That's a pretty funny excuse, but you obviously lost trust in him before that or you would not of been counting condoms to begin with... =/

[Asker]

You don't believe that excuse as a guy? I didn't believe it to be honest but everyone says it's me thinking crazy. Well I didn't understand why he even kept the box of them AFTER he knew I was pregnant...after all he had nothing to worry about. So I knew that if one disappeared it wasn't cause of with me.

[Lommelun]

You, lady, need to relax on the counting.

[aMuse]

I've lost condoms before... I've also been grilled by paranoid girlfriends before. When a woman is on your case for some bullsh*t you just want her to be quite. I'd just get sick of the nonsense and break up with her, but he has a kid with you so he's probably just willing to say anything to get you to stop arguing because it is really killing the relationship. Paranoid women are a pain in the ass.

[Asker]

It's not paranoid when they are on a strip and you have to rip one off. They are on a roll like lottery tickets. They don't get lost that way. Sorry not falling for that. He used it during a period where we werent having sex. A woman has every right to ask about it. Why would he have to say anything to get me to stop arguing when the only way to get one off is to RIP IT OFF. You say paranoid woman are a PITA...cheating men are scumbags who want to get away with anything and LIE.

[aMuse]

All cheats are scumbags, women included... Anyway, it sounds like your relationship has been on the rocks for a while. He's probably sticking around for the kid. People tend cheat when they feel unsatisfied in a relationship, not just sexually but emotionally. Where there is no trust, love collapses... When someone doesn't trust you they are not the supportive person you go to, they are the hostile person causing you misery. So cheats find someone to find comfort in...

[aMuse]

You're trying to argue about your boyfriend's condom with me some random guy on the internet... I understand you are upset, but I could only imagine what his life is like if you want to fight with me about. =|

[Asker]

I agree all cheaters are scumbags. You won't believe it, but the only time we fight is when he drinks...which is every night...and we clash because obviously drunks there is no reasoning. I can't believe that he is just sticking around for the kid because he bought me 3 bracelets last night, I just choose not to wear them because I can't go from him talking to other women then wanting to lay next to me or have sex...NOT HAPPENING. As for the condom...look at what I wrote logically...

[aMuse]

I read what you wrote... Did you ever think about why he drink so much? I don't know about him, but I only drink when I need to relax. For me that might be 2-4 times a month... If I had my girlfriend fighting with me every single night, and an unexpected pregnancy, I might become an alcoholic as well... =S

[Asker]

I don't fight with him everynight. He drinks so much because he is an alcoholic. It's not a matter of becoming one...he IS one. That's all he drinks. And I am supposed to sit back and take the sh*t that he throws at me because I speak up about something? Not here. I'm not one of those girls that bow to a man. Cmon now...don't skip over the condom issue. He intentionally took one off.

[aMuse]

you two sound like you are made for each other... *smh*

[Asker]

So how do you believe the condom magically disappeared...if he didn't take it off?

[aMuse]

I don't care how it disappeared... For all I know he got bored while drunk one day and got the bright idea to make condom water balloons and toss them off the roof at unsuspecting pedestrians, or maybe he wanted to make a condom balloon animal, or just maybe one of his drinking buddies took one. =| The point is you were counting condoms before, which means no trust has been there for a long time... =|

[Asker]

Correct...because if we are in a committed relationship, living together...already pregnant...why does he need to keep them around? Why not throw them out? What's the point of holding on to them.

[aMuse]

You keep missing the entire point. You are at the point in a relationship where you do not trust your partner anymore. Thus there is no love or commitment. You are not committed to him because you don't even trust him. He may have cheated on you, he may not. Either way you don't trust him so it's basically a dead relationship anyway. Get it?

[Asker]

No I don't have complete trust in him. There was no reason to hold on to those condoms. So I am supposed to believe that that condom just got up and walked away on its own. Or overlook that he probably f***ed around on me. I don't and won't. I will not condone a cheater. Nor do I forgive one. Man or woman.

[aMuse]

No go back over what I've said int he previous comments... No trust = collapse of love. No trust = find another woman to be supporting of you, and love you. Locked in a bad relationship where fighting is constant = drinking as a form of escapism. You two are caught in a nasty cycle and I'm sure it goes back further then this one condom on both your parts. Now you have a kid in the middle of this mess. =(

[aMuse]

*Now

[Asker]

I like how you put all this on me. I guess that would be "brotherhood"...one man sticking up for another. Regardless...I don't and won't forgive a cheater nor condone it.

[aMuse]

I didn't put it all on you... You're just taking it that way...

[aMuse]

I mentioned that "your relationship has been on the rocks for a while", that his excuse was funny and seemed like bullsh*t, that he is probably unhappy and sticking around just for the kid, that he's an alcoholic, that he might be a cheater, so on and so forth. He has a negative hand in it, as do you. A relationship is two sided, and both of you seem to have made mistakes.

[aMuse]

Just because I didn't take your side and tell you that you are completely right, doesn't mean I'm defending him...

[Asker]

No the trust I had for him was gone when the condom was gone. Him saying he used it to jerk off in...doesn't fly here. I didn't make a mistake...its the way I am and that's that. The way someone is, is NOT a mistake. I'm not changing myself for anyone...I am who I am and will say what I want to him. No need for me to kiss ass and I WILL NOT do it. I don't walk around on egg shells to figure out what to say to please him. If that's how you are...i feel sorry for you.

[aMuse]

No the trust in him was gone before that or else you would not have been counting condoms to begin with...

[aMuse]

If you are keeping tabs on the amount of condoms your man has, what phone numbers her has in his phone, what the content of his email looks like, or any other snooping then you don't trust him. Maybe you never trusted him...

[Anonymous]

Maybe they just prefer to talk in private, doesn't mean they're hiding anything.

[Asker]

I'm sorry but if we are living together. What do they have to talk about that needs to be private when you are in a committed relationship? Sounds like a way to start a relationship with someone else to begin the cheating process.

[Opinion Owner]

I think you're taking the whole "share everything" idea too far.

[Asker]

No I'm not. I'm respecting the "in a committed relationship". In a committed relationship to ONE GIRL or ONE GUY. Not to call up the opposite gender and have a daily conversation with them that you would have with your significant other that you LIVE WITH. What's he have to hide that he needs to talk to another girl? He has no guy friends...but yet he has girl friends. Not happening here.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he knows you're paranoid and wants to avoid a dramati fight of you accusing him of things.

[Asker]

There's no need for him to be talking to other girls when we are in a committed relationship, nor is there for I to talk to guys. We are LIVING TOGETHER. No need for this from him. Which him doing that in turn turns me off from sex with him.

[Opinion Owner]

You are paranoid and you have serious issues. It's unnattractive and it's even annoying ME just to be readin this! He needs to leave you for a girlfriend who is not so insecure and going to bitch and expect him to never speak to any female ever again now that you're in his life. What a pain in e ass

[Lommelun]

Probably because he is tired of you overhearing half a conversation and then hear you using that half conversation against him later.

Or maybe he is just getting pissed when you enter. After all you did have a fight.

[Asker]

Makes for a bigger fight when he changes to one word answers...or the person on the other end is really animated like a woman would get, and I hear them say "oh did your girlfriend just walk in the room, then I better let you go".

[Lommelun]

His mother then...

[Asker]

No cause if he was mad at me and he ran back to mother then he would stay on the phone and they bitch about me together. I've lost all respect for her.

[Lommelun]

Anyway. Going on the phone after a fight bitching about you to someone else is not very macho of him.

[Asker]

He does it to his mother ALL the time. I have no respect for her. When she comes in from out of state, I have no use for her after his calling mother episodes.

[Anonymous]

He has probably been complaining to someone about you. The mother is a very likely target, since she will always side with her son over you.

[Asker]

Oh he does. But she wouldn't say "oh did your girlfriend just walk back in the room, then I better let you go." She has no respect for me so they bitch about me together on the phone and don't hide it one bit. Plus...she knows my name and would say "oh is (my name) back"