Should I ignore her and let her initiate contact?

So me and this girl I met dated 3 months... things didn't work out because I was too nice and never escalated so she backed away...

3 months later she starts texting me again and this time I am very straightforward and she seems to enjoy my change.

We texted 3 days in a row for hours everyday every conversation was very sexual and direct which turned her on and kept her coming back for more in terms of text. Eventually we meet up and have sex in her car and afterward she wanted to cuddle and kept on kissing me and hugging me and saying how she wants to be my girlfriend if I give her a 2nd chance after she gets back from 3 months of vacation.

She wanted sex the very next day but I couldn't go to her place because I was at work...

The weird thing now is that after she got sex from me which she wanted the texting seemed to have died down again I text her something small like "How's your day going?" she replies 3 hours later... I offered her to "Hang out" with me tonight to hook up and she said she is feeling stressed but that definitely some other time we will.

Is this normal for her to slow down after she got what she wanted?

I figured after sex a girl might get more attached instead of slowing down contact?

I didn't reply her text when she said she couldn't tonight... Should I let her initiate next? I don't want to come off as desperate at all

I hope she had a good time and it wasn't my performance... even tho she claimed to have had the big O twice and I didn't even get to finish myself... after that she said she couldn't focus so we stopped but I made sure to give her a good time...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let her initiate contact. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

    • Next time she initiates should I ignore her a bit or text her back within 10mins or so?

      She made it clear she was down to pretty much meet up often to have sex...

      But as a guy I'm sure you understand me that the moment things die down you begin to question yourself and wonder if you did anything wrong haha

    • Don't ignore her when she initiates. That will give her the signal that you're not interested so she'll walk away from you forever.

    • Got it... thanks bro appreciate your comments...

      Maybe I'm just thinking too much into things lol

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What Girls Said 3

  • You should let her initiate. Next time you guys talk maybe not do it through texting. If you are on the phone with her or in person then you can gauge her tone to see if she is acting "interested" in what you are talking about. Also try being direct and ask her what her expectations are. Does she only want to hookup every now and then? Or is she looking for a boyfriend? Is she dating around or looking to commit? That way you know exactly what kind of contact you can expect from her.

    • Well before I started talking to her again I was kind of dating but nothing serious... and she made it clear to me she said the following words... "For now I think we should date but not so seriously until I return from my vacations, I think we should continue going out and having fun"

      Fun = sex

      So from what she says what do you think she wants from all this?

      She told me she wants to become my girlfriend when she returns... and lately she seems jealous about other girls in my life (friends)

  • Definitely let her initiate! I have a feeling she's either truly busy or playing games!

    • Well she works from 8am to 7pm but I won't lie this girl doesn't really knows what she wants so I wouldn't be surprised if she is playing games... lately after we slept together she seems to ask me a lot about other girls I have in my life as friends (She seems jealous about them)

      do you think Jealousy coming from a girl is a sign that she indeed has some sort of feelings for me?

    • If she's jealous, then she's definitely into you! She's probably just scared of commitment! If you like her enough, give her time. If not, then move on. It won't be worth it!

    • Are there are times when a girl wants to hang out but not be in the mood for sex?

      Because we had made it somewhat clear that we were gonna hang out to have "fun" as in sex but after we slept together last night she sent me a text and said she really wanted to see me and just relax and talk and that she wasn't in the mood... nonetheless I invited her out for a few drinks and made it a little bit in the car but no sex...

      Could she be testing me to see if I'm only using her for sex?

  • let her initiate contact


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