Question about the male 'freak out phase'

[Anonymous]

Freak out phase - when a man is dating a woman and has a high interest, then suddenly backs off after the excitement starts to die down because he is scared/unsure/confused about whether her wants the 'dating' to turn into a relationship.

Has anyone, boy or girl, experienced this or had this happen to them? What did you do and how did he/she respond?

Ive read and heard that during this phase, I should not contact him, and show him I don't need him if he doesn't need me. Do you think this is a good idea? What are your experiences?

[drjohno]

It's called disinterest. We realize that the girl we're about to start dating brings not much onto the table. We then take the rational decision to abort the relationship because there's no mutual benefit. In the media it's called "fear of commitment" in a way to shame the men who are not willing to play by women's rules.

"Do you think this is a good idea?"

I think you should move on and go for guys who think there's a mutual benefit in a relationship with you.

[Asker]

the truth hurts, lol.

I was dating him for 2 months and it was actually going excellent - that's why I'm quite certain he is in the freak out phase. His previous relationship was long term and did not end well. So I was kind of hoping he is getting scared of commitment...

I want to fight for him but at the same time I do not want to make a fool of myself :-(

[Anonymous]

There's really no rules about how to deal with the situation - the guy is going to make his decision regardless of what the girl does.

He's either willing to give up the freedom of being single to have a relationship with a girl, or he's not. That sort of decision comes from introspection, not from looking at what the girl is doing, communication-wise.

[Asker]

good point. Although would you agree if the girl does not give him any attention, he may realize what he's lost or may lose?

[Opinion Owner]

No. I really do think her actions don't factor into it.

[mattyice]

The ball is in his court right now. answer mine please

[Asker]

so how do I deal with that? give him space? tell him how I feel? what do you think would be most effective.,

[mattyice]

give him space. if he likes you then it will slowly eat at him not to talk to you and finally man up and text/call you. Week to two weeks should be enough lol

[Asker]

ok thank you, I responded to your questions too :)

[mattyice]

i added a comment actually two lol

[Anonymous]

No, I never experienced that. If that happens, it usually means that something has put the guy off.

[blacknwhitephoto]

How did this turn out for you?

[Asker]

im still seeing him! he has opened up to me slowly over this time and he has some trust issues but we are slowly building a strong connection. Some guys I think are jerks and play a girl but this guy isn't like that, he just needs his space as he has had a bad experience from his past and getting to close scares him :)