Independent vs. Clingy Girlfriends

[Anonymous]

I love girls that are independent because they have it together and are fun to be around. But I realized today that when in a relationship I really need a girl who is a little more clingy. A little more willing to devote a lot of time for me. And, oddly enough, a girl who expects me to show up to and support her in her endeavors and gets mad if I don't. A girl who I can do things for and would want to spend a ton of time with me and has tons of PDA. Are there are drawbacks to this? I have even dated girls like this, but after dating a girl who is totally independent I realize that its not the kind of relationship I want.

[pickledxtofu]

I don't understand why a person has to choose between 2 extremes.

I have a feeling most on here will choose clingy because they have unrealistic expectations of romance and they're desperate for love, affection and acceptance.

Clingy=/= devoting time or being lovey dovey. It's more of the emotionally dependent type who expects to go everywhere with you, be with you 24/7, calls & checks up on you, excessive PDA, and has emotional issues

Independent girls are usually condescending and seem to think that they should be able to ride on labeling themselves as independent. It's as though they have nothing more to offer than calling themselves independent.

Guys and girls want to feel needed, desired, loved and appreciated. But anything in excess is a bad thing.

I'd want a boyfriend who is in the middle. I don't want someone who expects to cling to me 24/7. But at the same time, I don't want someone who acts like I don't add value to their life.

[Stacyzee]

It seems like all you really want is a girl that appreciates and gives you attention.

I am sure you don't want clingy because that means that the woman will be possessive and controlling over you. She would not be able to function on her own because she's too busy worrying about what you are up to. She may call you countless times, even make threats if you try to break up with her. She is insecure and needs a man around her to make her feel great.

I am sure that isn't what you want.

A woman can be independent and still give you the attention you want.

[Asker]

While my girlfriend now is independent she show me a good amount of attention. But I know that I want more cling just by how I feel.

[Stacyzee]

I'm sure you don't want someone needy and desperate. Trust me, if you have this you will not have your own life has long has you are in the relationship.

[Theguyoverthere]

You need a balance. "independent women" are too extreme and claim they "don't need a man" but don't realize they want one but can't admit it.

Clingy girlfriends... they can be clingy! I mean clingy as in the sense where you have something important to take care of and they're yelling at you for not dropping what you're doing to see them. I took a girl's number once and spotted her clinginess right away when she flipped out on me for not hanging out with her the very next day.

People just want to feel wanted. Nobody wants to be taken for granted and now with girls worrying about being clingy they distance themselves so much to the point where they never get into a relationship anymore.

[NewYorkCity]

Do you know why? because you haven't met a right girl with the same interest as you are. It takes two people to build solid and happy relationship. Like you said both parties have to work for it, relationship is work just like your job. You work hard you get wonderful results both physical and what's most important emotional. If she is willing to do what you are willing to do you guys should and will be happy. Question is can you find a girl that fits you at least in a way because nobody is perfect.

[Anonymous]

independent is best:)

[moviedude714]

I want a balance