First date, GREAT!! Now she is VERY distant.

I will try to make this as short and clear as possible.

I asked this girl out to a convention that I am greatly interested in. She said she will think about it. Later that night, she text me saying to buy tickets online since it was cheaper. I responded "Sure I'll purchase some tomorrow for you and I" She responded back, "I already purchased mine." I was shocked because she automatically assumed that I will go out 100% with her. That may sound odd but sometimes things happen and there needs to be a firm confirmation between the two parties that they will attend the convention I believe but this does not matter. I just see it as she was very excited to go with me.

The next day, I see her in class and asked to confirm what time we would meet up. She said 4. I said sure. Then all of a sudden she announced that she invited her sister along with the sister's boyfriend. I was shocked but didn't mind because I knew we would split up. Another note, I'm not sure if this is important but when she announced that, she blush extremely, literally the color of a ripe tomato. Anyways, I unconsciously analysis the situation and thought that she brought her sister for (1) A comfort zone and (2) a second opinion on me.

The actually "date" started and at first she seemed quite uncomfortable but I made her comfortable because of the way I presented/acted towards her, just my personality. We talked a lot, flirted a lot, feed each other (it was a food convention) and a whole a lot of things. I honestly thought we were a couple and she responded very well to me. The sister, asked me a lot of questions from which I responded to it well and in detail. We actually got along well as well.

The next day, I made a follow up text asking her if she had fun and etc. She responded and we exchanged messages. So I was planning on going shopping and decided to invite her. She declined saying she had homework to do which I didn't think too much about.

Couple of days later, I saw her in class (we normally sit together) and she seemed...distant...she is normally very open and talks a lot to me but that day it wasn't like it used to be. At the end of class, she immediately left class but she usually waited for me. I caught up to her and asked her to walk me to class because she had an hour break. She decline and said she wanted to go eat when she normally walked me to class. Also, it takes her not more than 5 minutes to walk me to class and back to eat.

Well that's all. I know it sounds odd but her entire attitude changed towards me. She use to be very cheerful and open to me. Now she is like a double steel door shut tight with me outside.

My question is why is she doing this?

i had two possibility.

(1) She dislikes me (I really don't know why, I didn't do anything wrong and we respond well together)


(2) She doesn't know what she wants/scared/confused of what may happen with respect to relationships.

Both her and I have not had a BF/GF. She is pretty young however, 18.


bump, anymore more opinions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, she sounds kind of flaky (maybe because of age) but is this convention something that she would've wanted to go to without you? Maybe the reason that she was flirting and participating in feeding with you was because she liked the attention she was getting? Sounds like you guys really only sat together in class/met in class and it never was anything more. It could be possible that when she interacted with you for an extended period of time somewhere else (the convention) that she realized she wasn't interested. If that's the case she may be acting distant because she doesn't want to tell you how she really feels. In my opinion, if this scenario occurred (going on the date and all) and she wanted to pursue something further then she would...she would go shopping, she would want to sit by you in class. I would play it cool for a little while and just go to school as usual and see what happens. I think you've made it clear that you're interested and the ball is in her court. If you keep pursuing her without any response that makes you look like a desperate puppy which I don't think you are. Hope it works!

    • She has never heard of this convention and she was very keen/intrigued upon going as well. I believe she would have gone, not by herself, but with only her sister (not with the BF) because of obvious reasons (Triangle, awkward). I firmly believe she is not like that, ie does not crave the attention. The reason I am interested in her because she is not a high-maintenance person that sits on a high chair if you understand what I mean. She is very nice, natural beauty, talkative, basically a nice g

    • How do you type more?

      anyways to continue, we actually went out, not as a date but as friends. She invited me to go shopping with her and I agreed. We talked a lot and got to know each other. THEN I asked her out. Anyways, I think I will play it "cool" but I really do like this person. What are some other adivce I should do?

    • Too add on, I seriously thought we got along so well that it was like "love at first sight". it could be different for her but from the way I saw it, it was definitely there, the spark, the magic. Plus, I got along with her sister extremely well, felt like we were old friends from another country. I realized this could be my illusion, but I am not like that. I am a realist and will admit if the situation of the date was bad, but this wasnt.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Hmm, don't you wish you could just know what she was thinking? It's possible that she just doesn't know what to do if she's never been in a relationship but she should know how to act if you like someone (you don't avoid them, etc). I would still just try and sit back for a bit and let things happen. Sometimes when you think about things too much/overanalyze you can make yourself crazy. Try not to let it consume your thoughts too much!

    • She doesn't ignore me/avoid me. She simply doesn't talk to me the way she used to be (very cheery and open). Also, I remember when I asked her about her "past relationships" and she explained to me a situation where another persona asked her out. She liked him, he liked her. The guy tried to hold his hand but she was extremely reluctant of it and pulled away. I asked her why. She said..."I don't know"

      Really, I honestly don't understand. Its illogical. If you like a person, go for it; don't avoid.

    • Yeah I know what you mean, don't over analysis it. but I really like this person. She is sweet, good morels, good family, funny, intelligent, good sense of humor etc etc. I wouldn't put myself in a bad category either (no show off) I am the typical nice guy, I obviously will not buy them everything but I will listen to them, supply advice/answers, love and cherish them as if she was the only female left in this world. I know it sounds like a beta male but I was raised like this

  • That's what I think - you hit it on the head...if you like a person, go for it...don't avoid.

    • Sadly, people are oddly confused. I just hope things work out and thank you very much for your help. Much appreciated!

What Guys Said 1

  • women my friend...women

    try this I promiss it'll work lol

    don't give her anymore attention

    play her game

    act like nothing is wrong

    u'll see how her behavior will change towards you

    coz you seem to be an open guy you know like people feel comfortable around you and start to reveal more of themselves

    maybe she got scared of that in some way ( something to do with her, not you )

    so I suggest that you don't give her any more attention like before

    • What do you mean by "people will reveal themselves when they are comfortable around me?" and how would the negatively affect her in your opinion?

      But yea, I possibly won't give her much attention anymore unless she firmly mentions for it. It's odd though eh? The person will think he/she is not playing a game but ultimately they are the ones who initiated the game.

    • Show All
    • Well it's clear that you didn't get my point

      anyways you're giving her attention and she keeps blowing you off, so now try to do the opposite thing, and she'll be there woundering what's wrong not you

      and let's say she doesn't want to have too much contact with you then with not giving her attention you won't be putting yourself in the situation where she blows you off

      so it's a win win

    • Interesting, I understand now!

      I'll give it a try for sure then. thanks for the advice!