9 Reasons Why I Didn't Speak Out When I Was Groped At Work

1truekhaleesi

Before my current job, I was getting some work experience at a nursing home. It was there that an alert and oriented patient inappropriately touched me. Because people are idiots what happened was that he grabbed my ass and it stared there until I took it off. I rarely talk about what happened because I hate thinking about it. But I will list reasons why I didn't speak out about it and maybe people will understand why sexual assault victims don't usually come forward.

9 Reasons Why I Didn't Speak Out When I Was Groped At Work

I currently have an amazing job at a hospital. There are still patients who get inappropriate. Last time when an inappropriate and creepy patient even tried to touch me, a coworker didn't hesitate to jump in front of me. His name is Kaleb. He's amazing and not just because he doesn't hesitate to help me with anything, even if it's small. He deserves a raise and all the cookies a person can possibly bake.

Don't get butt hurt meninists. Not saying all men do this. I told a female coworker what happened and she couldn't care less. She is the person I am talking about in number three. But at my current job when a patient tried, it was a male coworker that saved me.

9 Reasons Why I Didn't Speak Out When I Was Groped At Work

1. Because I was terrified
2. I wanted to forget it happened and couldn't relive the nightmare by retelling what happened
3. Because the one person I did tell, couldn't care less
4. I didn't want to lose my job
5. I was afraid of being humiliated and embarrassed
6. I was afraid of being seen as less credible
7. He had power and influence over me
8. He was sneaky enough to assault me when no one was paying attention. That way it was my word against his.
9. Because the words, "who the fuck do you honestly think they will believe?" repeatedly popped into my head.

10. Because I didn't fit the mold of a stereotypical sexual assault victim. Right after it happened, I just stood there frozen in fear and couldn't bring myself to get words out of my mouth. I only told my supervisor and the first thing she said was, "why didn't you say anything to him?" I wasn't the cookie cutter shape of a sexual assault victim to her. According to her I should've been in hysterics, screaming about how wrong it was, and not wanting to work the rest of my shift.

9 Reasons Why I Didn't Speak Out When I Was Groped At Work
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Most Helpful Girl

  • lumos
    I'm really sorry that that happened to you, and I'm glad that you're at least capable of sharing your story on here. I've heard lots of similar stories from people working in nursing homes, the patients can be real assholes sometimes.
    "Because I didn't fit the mold of a stereotypical sexual assault victim. Right after it happened, I just stood there frozen in fear and couldn't bring myself to get words out of my mouth."
    Actually that's quite normal. People often talk about fight or flight, as if those are the only possible options when facing a difficult/dangerous situation. But there is a third F, which is freeze. And that's what you did. It's incredibly normal for people who get sexually assaulted or abused to freeze up and not know what to do. It's just as natural and normal of a reactions as fighting or fleeing. Don't feel bad about freezing up, and know that it's normal and there was nothing you could do about it. It was a natural reaction.
    Thank you for being brave and writing about your experience here. <3
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • D_Bone_Steak
    Sexual harassment is a pain in the ass. I used to make ID cards (military) and some of these girls would just reach over and start massaging my cock. I'm like WTF, not wanting to make a scene, not wanting to get in trouble for fraternization and to be honest, some of these girls are nasty looking... like trashy jailbait bootcamp nasty. I already had a fiance so there's that element as well... I simply didn't need nor want what they were trying to get to happen.

    There simply has been far too many times I'm put in that situation and I find myself pleading, "please don't touch me like that" and trying to plead in such a way that she won't flip her shit and accuse me of something. It sucks to deal with.
    Is this still revelant?
    • BMW12

      massaging my cock LOL

    • I am sorry that happened to you. It's not appropriate for anyone to touch somebody without permission.

    • It's not just that, my beef with it is that it's at the workplace and those are coworkers. As a man, I know even an allegation of doing something could destroy me at the workplace, but many women use that as leverage to get what they want... they know we fear what they can do.
      In a casino or club it happens but at least there, especially with people around, I can bluntly enforce a hands off policy. Outside of the workforce women are not all powerful beings that do whatever they want and can punish us if we don't let them have their way.

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  • RolandCuthbert
    I am not sure what to say. I think you are brave to post your experience here. GaG isn't the most empathetic site for sharing such experiences. There are so many men who are butthurt over our collective image. Its weird. I guess I just find it hard to take embarrassment or guilt from someone else's pain. Especially when I know I have not done anything like that. . . ever. So it is hard for me to speak like I understand where they are coming from. And the weird thing is that several times, women have touched me inappropriately. But I don't seek to try to compare it to what happens to women. I know those are completely different situations.

    Harvey Weinstein is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of Hollywood culture. It is funny how Hollywood has such a "liberal" reputation. It is the most cutthroat example of capitalism that we have. You are only as good as your last movie, production, or film. People have been doing "favors" for decades to get ahead. And I don't think this latest revelation will do anything to change that culture. Right now, everyone is just dumping on Weinstein, no one is talking about how this behavior was accepted and condoned. Even now, Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski are still members of the same guilds that expelled Weinstein. No one is talking about Ben Affleck and the women he has touched or groped inappropriately. If there are two, there must be dozens more. Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently groped women for decades. So did Steven Seagal.

    But again, I don't have any answers. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am glad you posted. Just looking at the posts here, I don't know how this society can change.

    Maybe we just can't.
    • I am so sorry that happened to you. No one has the right to touch anyone inappropriately. Hollywood just shows us that all monsters are human. And they look like regular people who you would see everywhere.

    • Well, I don't compare it to the situations that women face. It isn't like they could have raped me or anything. Only two were high ranking executives, COO or CMO. The rest were just regular employees. And it was easy to either brush it off or just tell them to stop. I didn't fear much in terms of repercussions.

  • BigRayFromNC
    In my opinion first of all you are wrong as anyone who is groped or touched inappropriately on a job should report it no matter how minor it is that person has rights. It is a proven fact that when someone is groped on a job and they do not report it the person who groped you will do it again thinking they can get away with it.

    You will not lose your job for reporting this as your employer will think more of you of taking the proper actions on this. If you report this to your employer and your employer does not do anything about it contact your local law enforcement about it as it possibly could be a crime.

    There was a case going back a few years ago that a woman having an office job that another male worker there had come into the copy room and while she was making copies and he came up behind her and grabbed and squeezed both of her Tits and she reported it to the employer and the employer did nothing about it then she filed civil charges against the man who grabbed her Tits and when she went to court she had hard proof as the man who groped her was on video camera in the copy room and she was awarded over a million dollars in damages.

    Report any groping incident and do not be a fool!!!
    • lumos

      Unfortunately there are loads of victims that have no proof - no videos, photos or witnesses. So for that reason, many feel discouraged to report it because there's no way to prove it and it's their word against their attacker's. And for those who have been assaulted, like 1truekhaleesi brought up, it's something that can be incredibly hard to talk about. It's a traumatic experience, and every time they talk about it they're reliving the moment in their mind. Not to mention how people sometimes react when victims come forward - often in disbelief, sometimes even mocking or antagonizing the victim by belittling them and what they've gone through. Getting asked personal and intrusive questions about what they were wearing, if they were drinking, or if they were sending hints of "asking for it". Understand that that's not something a lot of victims want to put themselves through, especially considering how likely it is that they'll come out of it empty-handed and even more traumatized.

    • @lumos I totally understand where you are coming from and you are right, however in my opinion it is better off for someone who has been groped or touched sexually on a job to report it no matter what the outcome is rather then sit back and become another statistic. I had happened to do a study on unreported rapes in this Country and the results were shocking the amount of women who did not report it and let it go by. I know what you are saying about it being a traumatic experience as one of my neighbors was raped by a pizza delivery guy and when he came to the door with the pizza he asked her to use the bathroom and after he used the bathroom he beat and raped her in her living room without a rubber on and she did call 911 and the police came and there were semen samples on the couch and in her and they put out a bench warrant on him and in a short period of time he was arrested and convicted and was sentenced to 20 years in a maximum security prison but she never got over it...

    • I did tell my supervisor. She actually said, "why didn't you say anything to the patient?" She's the one I am talking about in reason three. When I got mad and reminded her that protecting her subordinates is her job she just scoffed, rolled her eyes, said fine, and said she would have a serious discussion with him. She never did. There was one other co-worker in the room and she couldn't confirm my story because it happened when her back was turned. Apparently my word wasn't enough for her. I don't know why. I was a good employee, I was never late or even tardy, and I did my job.

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  • MikkiM
    I have a boss in my previous ojt and he is sexually harrassing me , at first i tried to be cool with it, and before my ojt ends he harrased me again, i stay quiet about it, cause i really want to finished my ojt, i really love that workplace, thats the only problem, even i have an offer i wouldn't choose to work there because of that,

    I can report it to the office, but i dont eant to cause scene and just neglect about it
    • Sending hugs. I am not going to pressure you to report it because that'd be hypocritical of me. Whatever you decide, I really hope it works out okay.

    • MikkiM

      Yeah, i just guess that, its part of our female sexuality, no matter what i do, im alwaus involved with people like that, so to act more maturely, i have to consider those as perks with myself... I think, most matters how you handle situation most girls are nice, just dont let men stepped on you, speak when you have to speak, and sometimes we girls really have to be tough to repel those maniacs

    • Gnome0

      I'll say the same thing I said before to khaleesi. Don't let this scare you, I hope you are doing well and not letting this incident hold you back. Be strong.

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  • BeeRight
    I just can't wrap my head around not reporting a gross misconduct such as sexual assault and harassment. It enables the assailant to continue doing so to you and worse yet, others. It doesn't matter if you have no proof or not. By speaking up, at worst it puts the eye on the assailant and forces them to give a second thought about doing it and at best can resolve the issue quickly. If just because people might not believe you stops you from doing the morally right thing, then that is an issue you need to address. Perhaps the only thing worse than wrong doing, is the righteous idly sitting back watching and allowing wrong doings to happen and continue. Power and influence are completely irrelevant. To suggest that would play into your thinking is to suggest that the sexual assault was OK because you value your job or status more than you do your body. If that is the case (and that's OK if you feel that way) then it is not an egregious act done to you, rather it is an act you find acceptable in order to keep your job or status; thus I'm not sure why you are now complaining about it.

    I know I may get a lot of thumbs downs, but the fact is, if sexual assault is as bad as many feminists are saying it is (which I believe it is) then why are you not lashing out, preventing it, punching assailants, and reporting it to protect other women (and men)? If it is so horrible, why are you putting your career status or even personal reputation above such a horrific action that was done not only against you, but through your silence, against others.

    I will say what I will teach my personal daughter. If it happens to you, forget your grades, your pay, your job, and your reputation. You HIT first, scream second, and tell third. If who you tell doesn't take you serious, tell someone else until you are heard. Do not wait, because in waiting, others might feel exactly how you feel now. And wouldn't you gladly give up your job and your reputation in order to prevent others from feeling how you feel?
    • Brock Turner was caught red handed raping a woman behind a dumpster. He got six months. Very little people believe sexual assault survivors. My ancestors were badass Vikings and their blood runs in my veins. Fuck. You. 馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙馃枙I am not giving up my life and everything I built because some guy grabbed my ass. Yes I value my career above a lot of things. I am not giving up my life to be ostracized because some creep couldn't keep his hands to himself.

    • BeeRight

      That's fine, then don't make a big fuss about it if it isn't that important to you.

    • This isn't for me. I said that I wrote this so people can understand why sexual assault victims don't come forward. Summary: it's because of people like you.

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  • Poppykate
    I think the reason why the nurse appeared to not care is because it happens a lot as a nurse. (I am NOT saying it is right though). It is clearly something that needs to be addressed!) My auntie is a nurse, and she has told me of her experiences as a nurse. She has dealt with what she calls 'handsie' patients. She was telling me she has become good at slapping hands away, or if a patient is really bad, they have restraints.
    • I have gotten better at it and better at reading body language. Either way, I am glad my current job takes it seriously. At my last job, they were basically like "lol. Welcome to healthcare."

  • zagor
    So he pinched your butt, and now you are traumatized?

    I had someone reach between my legs and grab my junk at a crowded concert. I think it was a girl but it was so jammed I couldn't really tell. It caused me not a moments concern.

    Maybe your definition of "sexual assault" is a little loose.
    • Uhm no? He grabbed it and it stared there until I took it off. A lot of people have been surprising me today. I thought you were decent.

    • People process grief differently, so while I am sorry that happened to you, you can go fuck yourself. 馃憤

    • zagor

      Wow, that was rude. I just don't see how someone being an asshole for a moment has to stay with you for so long. I don't go around touching people, but I don't let some drunk slob ruin my day just because they can't resist it.

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  • ShortCircuit
    First of all, my condolences.

    I know it's difficult, but if it happens again, I'd encourage you to set aside your own inhibitions and speak up for the good of society. That's how you bring about reform. Even if nothing changes, at least those who violated you could get what they deserve.

    You're empowering them when you keep it hush (almost) as much as the degenerates who turn a blind eye and perpetuate victim shaming.
  • DonRomeo
    Its still your responsibility to address it. But telling them to get their hand off you is all it needs to get to. Someone putting a hand on your ass used to be just cheeky, before the West got absolutely hysterical about throwing males in prison.

    The guy who touched your ass grew up in a different time. And what the hell is so traumatic about someone touching your ass? I've had a girl or two touch my ass cheekily in school, and I didn't think for a second about bringing in the Army or starting an international human rights tribunal.

    To be a strong woman, you need to be able to stand up for yourself. Reporting things that aren't serious is just weak and pathetic. I've been SHOT AT, and I didn't report it. I dealt with it, and got on with my life. This victim culture makes me sick.

    While I dont believe in grassing people up, it seems that doing so is entirely up to you. If you neither hold your ground (within the normal constructs of politeness and assertiveness, knowing your rights), or on the other side, tell someone about it, then you have nothing to complain about.
  • btbc92
    Okay, as much as I understand how that went down because I know what that's liked to be groped or touched in that manner. What other people don't CARE to realize is that when your petrified, you're stuck. However, I have to address this from point by point.

    1. Even if you were terrified, it is still within your right to scream, shout, and do whatever. By not saying anything, you already placed your life in danger. You could have been killed for real like a good amount of rapist do if they felt the need to. But at the same time, if you don't plan right, screaming and such is expected that you could have already signed your own death wish. However, if this was done where somebody at least was in the building or facility, then you should have said something.

    2. Sadly, you can never forget this. This is the issue with premarital sex and condoning sex before marriage. This is the premise where rape by sex comes from. People hate me for saying it. But the truth is truth. All you can do is forgive, and move forward.

    3. Then you go to somebody who can take legal action against the company and the guy. If he did assault you, his DNA can be checked and processed, not just semen.

    4. But your job is more important than your safety? Your life? You have to seriously think about this. Because these are dangerous habits to be following.

    5. YOU are far more important than the thoughts of others around you. I understand completely about how you feel. BUT. When push comes to shove then you MUST ignore your feelings. Feelings cannot get in the way of a rational decision. DON'T let this happen again with anything in life.

    6. If you're telling the truth, then the only one who gets to decide that is the court and the justice system. If your job isn't making sure your in a safe environment, and nobody in charge is doing anything about it, then something is seriously wrong. At that point. SCREW THAT JOB! The more you stay there, the more problems you will cook up for yourself. And then you'll really be in a jam. Other than that. Only you know what happened. And you don't have to tolerate that. EVER.

    7. Who was this person that he had so much power? He had that power because you GAVE it to him. Never allow somebody in this life to have power over you.

    8. Then why wore you around him? I would protest and get out, not stay there and be a sneaky snake that he is. At that point, you quit. Not stay.

    9. Again, you have to stop being negative about yourself because he
    • btbc92

      preyed on your insecurities and low self-esteem. He knows this. That is why the Bible talks about guarding your heart and mind.

      10. WHO CARES, if you didn't 'fit' the bill? Were you not assaulted sexually? THAT is what matters. Your supervisor is nuts! And so is that other female co-worker. This is why I don't really trust anybody because of that crap. "According to her I should've been in hysterics, screaming about how wrong it was, and not wanting to work the rest of my shift." It IS in fact, a well documented and typical response. BUT you are not the same as other victims. However, that is something that you have to do for now on when you are or feel you are in mortal danger. DON'T play with your life. You only got one. Other than that, thank you for sharing your story bravely, but you most certainly need counseling and be prepared to let this go.

    • I did leave this terrible place. It wasn't a good place to work and every time I say that, people look like I'm complaining and that I just hated my job. It was so bad, that coworkers wouldn't change a patient who was sitting in their own bodily fluids because they were too busy taking selfies. I forgave but I am not going to forget. But I have always had incredibly vivid dreams, no clue why. Sometimes I dream that I am forced to go back to that place because I really need the money, and then that same patient touches me inappropriately again. I wake breathing hard and have to take time to calm myself down. I have a much better job now. My work actually cares about me and I don't have to worry that this happen again. And if it does, there's repurcussions because my current job has no tolerance for patients inappropriately touching the people taking care of them. My old work manipulated me so much that I had no idea that I could get a job somewhere where the management cared about me.

    • btbc92

      Because of the sex. That is how powerful sex is and why God commanded that sex be between husband and wife, a man and a woman for THIS reason. It is a spiritual battle you will have to face. It is going to be a very difficult road, but I will keep you in prayer. It's stuff like this where I would have liked to have been in the rape prevention career or anywhere on those lines. Somethings got to give here.

  • Cosytoasty
    So you were afraid to speak out, understandable with the reasons you gave. But i have to ask, do you merely want empathy or do you want something to actually change? That isn't achieved by staying silent.

    P. S i read your reply to someone else and its quite disconcerting, you say you work in a hospital where people trust you with their lives, yet you hate humans and want a flood to wipe us all out.
    • I said why I did speak up. Many sexual assault victims never come forward, and I gave my reasons why. That is the entire reason I wrote this. I was hoping people would understand why people don't come forward but because people have IQs equal to turnips, that didn't work and I have to explain every itty bitty tiny thing that I already wrote. Do people not understand sarcasm anymore? Is it a thing of the past? I am not sorry for what I said. If anything he should apologize to me. I am not sorry that I was venting. People are human and if you expect them to love people 24/7, then you have weird expectations. Talk to literally any person in retail and they will agree. God was the one that flooded the Earth, if you have a problem with that, take it up with him. And you assumed that I actually want to murder people? You odd little one. God my sarcasm is too advanced.

    • Cosytoasty

      Actually i've understood exactly why you didn't come forward at the time, i just asked what your goal of helping us understand is? Do you want sympathy? do you want people to think about it and change? Do you just want to get it off your chest?

      As for your sarcasm, I'll quote you from another reply...
      "Wait, if someone told you that they were sexually assaulted you would respond with sarcasm and what, make a fuckin joke?"
      I assumed if you're so against sarcasm, you wouldn't use it yourself.

    • Again, helping people understand why people don't come forward. It's a huge question since Weinstein has been outed. I think that is the second time I have told you that. I don't want your stupid pity. I was well aware that I was criticized for this my take but shared it anyways to help. If it wasn't blatantly obvious, I am not against sarcasm. There's a time and place but I use it like a comma

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  • DonkeyRick69
    Me too. I suffered a lot of the same in my hotel job I worked on summer with women groping me and sexually harrassing me.
    • That's disgusting. I am sorry. That should've been an easy summer job. But it wasn't because people are assholes.

    • I think a lot of women have a double standard that it's wrong for men to grope them but ok for them to grope boys

    • No it's not okay to touch anybody without their permission.

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  • F媒rdracaD贸cincel
    So before I turn into a sarcastic asshole.. what actually went down exactly?

    I would be a lot more sympathetic if I knew who it was, where he touched you, etc.
    • You clearly didn't read number two so you are just an asshole but we are obviously past that. He was a patient of mine and he grabbed my ass. That's more than you need to know.

      Wait, if someone told you that they were sexually assaulted you would respond with sarcasm and what, make a fuckin joke? I thought you were a decent person but people surprise you I guess.

    • You said he had a large amount of power and influence over you.. did you mean in terms of your job or do you have a thing for old men?

      And you said you were terrified..
      .. of an old man who needs help to do basic shit?

    • In terms of my job, I thought that was blatantly obvious but clearly some people have poor reading skills.

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  • DeeperMeaning
    I think we should encourage people who have been assaulted to come out and speak up during the time that it happens as opposed to them remaining silent due to their perceived fears about what would happen if they said something. Choosing to remain silent means choosing to allow this person to go out and do it again to someone else. Self preservation shouldn't dissuade someone from seeking justice.
  • Stamps
    Most of your reasons are just assumptions.
    When I was in high school, I had to work with a group existing out of three people on a project; myself, and two others who didn't do shit. I simply told them to start working; they wouldn't. Without giving a single fuck about my ''reputation'' among my classmates, I went to the teacher, simply telling him the truth. Afterwards, I told the two that I went to the teacher 'cause they weren't doing shit. They were of course talking nonsense, and trying to put me under pressure during the convo we had, but again, didn't give a shit. And funny enough, they started actually working and we got a pass mark.

    What I'm trying to say here, is that, you can be afraid of so many things, but when you know you are in the right, and can easily talk the truth and ''win'' the conversation when you're debating with someone about the stuff that happened to you, I would've just told the boss or the person who grabbed you. Also, let's be honest, losing your job because YOU got sexually harrassed?
    • I did tell my supervisor. She didn't give a shit. Go back and read again because I know I fuckin said that dipshits are just too braindead to read but can still run their mouth. Another user wrote this, facing retaliation for reporting sexual assault is nothing new. Corporations only care about their reputation.

      "Actually it is odd we are talking about this as over the weekend I was talking with a friend who used to work in a assisted living facility and she had an incident once when an old man who was living there when she came into the room to fix his bed and pillows reached out and grabbed both of her Tits and then offered her money to take off her uniform and to climb into bed then fuck him.

      She got so angry she punched him right in the face and he reported it and she was fired on the spot. Can you imagine a woman working there and a male patient grabbed both of her Tits and offered money to fuck the patient and she get's fired? Wrong, Wrong, Wrong..."

    • Stamps

      @1truekhaleesi
      Well, I'm not really experienced with this kind of studf myself, but looking at employmentlawfirms. com , it says that, if you get retaliation, you should "talk to an experienced employment lawyer about it", who can then negotiate with your employer, and make sure your rights are protected. You can start a lawsuit if you aren't satisfied with the company's response to your complaint. At least I wouldn't just forget about it all.

      As for your friend, it is an unfortunate situation. However, when such thing happens, it's extremely important to keep your cool, even when the guy is a fucking asshole pervert. And even if she then still threw the punch, she should've immediately reported it, because at such moment, it's pretty much a race of who reports who first.

  • jacquesvol
    Some guys become deaf when they get a boner. Then they can not hear a 'NO!

    Should they be deprived from sex because of that and suffer blue balls?
    [Sarcasm=OFF]
  • Jackblue
    Although I did not go through what you did I think I can understand a bit what you were feeling. When I was in College I had a roommate who was acting very violent. He never touched me, but he banged things and slammed the door shut behind me when I walked out. I was too scared to ask why he was acting the way he was. Eventually we talked it through with the RA, but I was terrified. My father when I called him and begged him to come get me came, but he clearly felt I was getting scared over nothing. It is clearly worse with you since you didn't feel your supervisors would listen to you. At least one person stepped in. Have you joined a women's support group?
    • That is terrifying and very scary. I haven't joined a support group. I don't really like talking about it. Even to people who experienced something similar. I keep being told that it could've worse so that has been pushing me away.

    • Jackblue

      I don't think they would judge you there or tell you it could have been worse.

  • CubsterShura
    My sister was once groped at a railway station when she was ONLY TEN YEARS OLD. It happened before I was born.
  • ATuairiscean
    Very good take - I agree there needs to be a change in attitude where it is more favourable for victims to come forward.
  • Gnome0
    "Right after it happened, I just stood there frozen in fear and couldn't bring myself to get words out of my mouth." Isn't this actually the common response? Not wanting to relive an incident psychologically is actually quite normal as well. I'm sorry the one person you told did not care. When people tell years after they often get discounted. "That's just boys being boys". "That wasn't harassment" etc. I hope your getting on well with life. I hope this has not kept you from finding happiness, joy etc.
    • That's my fault. I should've been more specific. I only told my supervisor and the first thing she said was, "why didn't you say anything to him?" I wasn't the cookie cutter shape of a sexual assault victim to her. According to her she thought I should've been in hysterics, screaming about how wrong it was, and not wanting to work the rest of my shift. With my hands and voice shaking for hours after, I buried myself in my work to forget it. I am doing better. My current job takes employee safety very seriously. If anything, I was mostly disgusted. I wanted to go home, dip myself in bleach, and take a three hour long shower.

    • Gnome0

      I'm glad you are doing better.

  • Berserk117
    I feel u. In high school, I was groped by an ugly girl who found me very attractive it was very uncomfortable but I couldn't do anything because I was thinking "she's a girl, she might call me a creepy pervert who tried to rape her or some shit" since it was after school and I was in the library, all the way in the back where it's almost always empty of people

    It scarred me a bit because she did it again and again and what was gross was her friend encouraged her, last time she did it (which was the sixth time) I just ended up running away

  • AllThatSweetJazz
    "meninists"
    I wish people would stop using this word like it's not a parody.
  • Wow, I'm sorry this happened to you. People can be such creeps and assholes. I have been a victim of harassment myself at school and at work on a verbal level as well.
    • Recently it has been this girl making remarks because I'm still a virgin and picking on me and asking me perszonal questions but yes in middle school and high school I was touched on my behind by girls and had my shirt pulled up by guys and they took a pic.

  • BaileyisDarcy
    For those saying she should have reported it because blah blah

    She did tell her supervisor.

    And honestly if it happened to me i probably wouldn't report it. I've reported a coworker for bullying, absolutely nothing happened. (Coworker stopped though cause two other coworkers who witnessed it happening made sure it stopped for me)

    If i were sexually assaulted in my workplace? Yeah, no, i doubt id be able to report it especially knowing that if bullying isn't taken seriously, if my emotional well being isn't taken seriously (this from both the lack of response to bullying and the almost bullying from my employer themself) why would sexual assault be taken seriously?

    After all, im just another one of the young girls who does nothing *eye roll*
    Why do hospitals and nursing homes have to be such gossipy places? Why do the staff feel the need to be so damn bitter. Its like being back in school. Nothing was taken seriously there either.
  • StrangerMorrison
    I'm sorry you had to go through this - made even worse by the shitty attitudes of most of the people who were supposed to help you. I can understand that the general public is still horribly uneducated about sexual harassment. I don't like it, but I understand it. But superiors, police, figures of authority? It's only logical that they would be first people that most victims will turn to, so they should really know how to deal with sexual harassment, otherwise they are not fit for a position of authority. I hope your story can help to bring that change.
  • Maria1980
    It happened to me too. Sexual harassment, bullying, verbal abuse, sexual assault. you name it. People tend to not talk because of shame, shame is a very shitty feeling that makes you want to run, hide even want to die. Some People killed themselves out of shame, so no surprise people don't talk if they are victims of such an act that involves a lot of shame. Especially with the stigma that follows the victims, lack of support, blaming the victim for being abused and for talking about their abuse. You find this so evident with the alter boys incidents. Those men never spoke for decades about their abuse. They lived a life full of pain and shame while their abuser was getting protected. That is another reason the victims fear to complain and not finding anyone standing up for them but totally defending their abusers

    We live in a world unfortunately that celebrate perpetrators. Many bullies, rapists, abusers get away with their crimes leaving their victims in ruins
  • Giacomanzo
    Jesus, you seemed to have been groped a lot during your years as a nurse! Where do you live? In douchebagland? None of my nurse friends have ever told me anything about this.
    • "None of my nurse friends have told me"

      Title of take "why i didn't speak out"

    • Giacomanzo

      @BaileyisDarcy I mean, they are my close friends and all over 25. The "Didn't" part has been over for ages. They ranted with me about other stuff happened during their job life, why wouldn't they say that?

    • Because being sexually assaulted is a little different than, "guess what that bitch said today!"

    • Show All
  • Am I wrong to say that I think you just want attention by writing this Mytake?
  • scooogy
    You should just grope them back. Squeeze their tiny balls good.
  • Kat_puppies
    girl you go do what you wanna do, and grope him back
  • Waffles731
    Even sick people can be bad people sadly
  • Tohru
    Interesting
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