Why Going to an Expensive Private High School is Not Actually Good for Kids

[Anonymous]

1. Only really rich kids go to the private high schools with ridiculously high tuitions.

99.9% of the teenagers who attend a private high school in Manhattan, especially the Upper East Side, have overflowing bank accounts. They do not that are plenty of others who are starving every day and saving pennies in order to survive. To them, money is nothing, a normal after school activity would be going through the designer stores and boutiques and max out your credit card. The money goes to them as easily as anything, a couple thousand dollars to them is nothing. They don't work for what they get, they think that they should and that their parents ought to give them the money.

2. They don't really care about their grades because they don't have to.

In order to keep up the school's fantastic reputation and above average GPA, the teachers will go out of their way to achieve that. They need their students to all get into the Ivy Leagues, and since the students’ grades depend on what their teacher gives them,

the students have a rather easy academic life. Also, since there are so many occasions and entertainments that are not academically related, doing their homework the first thing they get home is not necessarily their everyday agenda.

3. The students are not necessarily "good" and "nice".

With their overflowing bank accounts, and taking limos with private divers every morning to school, they don’t really have to be good and nice to anyone to get things their way. They have powerful families to back them up whenever they need. With that much money, they don’t care if they spend a whole chunk of it on alcohol, buying drugs, or just completely wasting it. With their bank accounts, a Porsche is worth almost nothing. They don’t have to drive safely because if they totaled their current Porsche or Tesla because they were drunk, they can get another one without hesitation.

4. They don't have much respect for anyone.

Being used to getting everything their way and not having to worry about the consequences of their actions is what they grow up being used to. Since they are rich, they think of themselves as a higher class then other people who don't have as much money, they think they are better than others, and that rich or poor is what defines you. Most of the teenagers think that they are better than others because their closet is the size of other's living rooms, or that anyone who lives in Brooklyn does not deserve to be part of the elites.

[ManaX]

1. Only really rich kids go to the private high schools with ridiculously high tuitions.
I know you spoke about Manhattan specifically but form another perspective, both my brother and sister went to private high schools in the UK (yes our family is well off). Why is it a bad thing to hang out with people like themselves? I myself went to a grammar school but something I've noticed about all of us is that we are connected with some of the next leaders/business tycoons/ company owners/managers/doctors/lawyers/Architects of society. As a group, you dream bigger, networking at schools like these is easy and beneficial to anyones future. Especially if you want to enter a profession where 'who you know' matters.

2. They don't really care about their grades because they don't have to.

On the contrary, they do care about their grades because they're paying for it. Furthermore, high profile families like to brag about the success of their children. In addition to paying for school it's possible a number of kids can also afford tutors too, chances are they will do well.

3. The students are not necessarily "good" and "nice".
Wait, what? This is a huge generalisation. I don't think any school is termed 'good' or 'nice'. Every school has bad kids due to bad parents that's nothing new.

4. They don't have much respect for anyone.
Again another generalisation, our family is humble. No one knows what we have until I show them our home and it's usually 'shock' that follows. There is snobbery among every class, There is disrespect among every class.

[myTake Owner]

Well, I don't know about the UK, but as you noticed, I was specifically referring to Manhattan.

[ManaX]

Yeah, that's why I wrote 'I know you spoke about Manhattan specifically but from another perspective' since your title doesn't refer to Manhattan specifically.

[meowcow]

Everything you said applies to ANY school.

1. Why would a kid from a rich family send their kid to a public school with poorer parents? Most families are rich because they have influence. They become more influential by meeting other influential families - not by meeting the parents of Joe Blow who mows lawns for a living.
2. There's probably more students in public schools in America who don't care about their grades.
3. Students in public school aren't all "good" and "nice".
4. Students in public school don't have much respect for anyone. There's enough YouTube videos of shithole American schools with disrespectful brats.

[lilaqua]

I feel like i'm more than qualified to chime in since I've experienced quite a lot of different learning environments. I went to a public school (primary years prep - 6), relatively low status all girls catholic school (high school years 7-8) and an elite all girls private school (high school years 9-12). Like what that anon said, since I'm not American the school system here in Australia is quite different, private schools are really really popular 41% go to one compared to 8% in the US.

1. In my experience, yes and no. The big differences are that they're partially subsidised by the Australian government or church and can be quite affordable for middle class people like myself. It's slightly more socio-economically diverse with the kids of CEOs going to the same school as those who's parents work 3 jobs and are on a scholarship just to stay there. It's not Gossip Girl or anything like that, and the really rich kids are few and far between
2. Well, yes we were spoon fed in order to achieve the best results and to get the best grades but the kids themselves were remarkably motivated to do well, we were pushed and pressured to work hard and we did. I don't know how the US system works but since Australian exams are standardised teachers can't bolster marks or anything, every kid in the state competes with each other.
3. Again the extent of wealth where I went wasn't to this degree, especially amongst my friends. Compared to the public schools down the road we were all kind of forced to behave so none of this stuff ever happened. But this has more to do with morality which I don't think is inherently tied to one's earnings
4. This is something that actually ticked me off quite a lot whilst I was at school. Most of the kids had really fucked up views on the working class and some didn't understand inter-generational poverty and stuff like that. I had a little more understanding since I went to more socio-economically diverse schools and lived in a completely different area.

[Anonymous]

Just to start off I'm British so I don't not exactly what American private schools are like, but I'll play ball.
1. I can't really agree, I know a lot of people in my school who have struggled to get to where they are. To get into private schools (at least here in England) you MUST pass an entrance exam. It doesn't matter how much money you have, if you don't meet the requirement, you don't get an interview. I also know lots of people in my schools and related schools get plenty of money (some almost free - I am one myself) off of the cost of going, either through Bursaries or Scholarships funded by the school.
2. As I said, you MUST pass an entrance exam to get into a Private school (at least in England). When you get to the GCSEs, if you do not attain a certain amount of points (determined by grades) you are forced to leave the school (at 16).
3. I only know of one kid who comes to school in an expensive car with a chauffeur, that kid's Russian and ludicrously rich. It doesn't make someone a horrible person if they have money, this particular guy's incredibly generous and is always ready to help if needed. He himself has even told his parents that he *wants* to take on debt for University rather than leech off his parent's wallet.
4. Perhaps with some of the richer ones, but I don't get that general feeling from most people. As someone else said, sure there are obnoxious people, but not all of them are the same.

As I said, I'm a Brit and our schools function very differently here, so take this with a grain of salt. Our private schools very much do provide a higher standard of education than the state-funded schools.

[myTake Owner]

Again, that's in England, not Manhattan.

[ManaX]

@anon agreed

[gobsmacked3]

I have taught for over 25 years. I have had many opportunities to teach in private schools. Even approached by some prestigious ones. I am a staunch advocate of education for all. And supporting public schools. The main premise is looking after the less fortunate and influencing their lives in a positive manner.

As for your take, you focus on their social skills. Sure, some are obnoxious bellend types. The rub is it is irrelevant next to the benefits afforded them by these institutions. I haven't got the stats but I would think most of these upbringings are far more successful in life from a work sense.

[Jmcmanning]

My son went to an expensive private school and we are not rich. He actually cared about his grades, just as the other students had as well. I think it might be more determined on where you are from, the example you are following, and your attitude. My son gets a lot of compliments on how well-manner he is and how he is always willing to help someone out. I don't know where you got your information but it does not hold true for the entire spectrum.

[myTake Owner]

Manhattan, it's what happens.

[Jmcmanning]

It didn't happen to my son and he has been in a private school since 5th grade. I was sent a private school and don't have these characteritics either. I think it's not because they go to a private school, its the examples they are seeing around them.

[Anonymous]

This has little to do with the expensive schools and more just about the people that can afford them. Even if these kids didn't go to a private school they're likely to have the exact same attitude. Also if someone who wasn't wealth managed to get into a private school none of this little of this would apply to them

[zagor]

I can see your point, but I would imagine a lot of people who send their kids to those schools don't feel the public schools are sufficient in both academic quality and personal safety.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree, I went to a private one and students were pure shit, know why? Teachers are afraid to lose that nice "quota" the parents are paying to even punish any of the students.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks.

[landon40]

That is just stereotypical, not all private school students are like that.

[Pink2000]

I loved private school. I started going to public school for the culture

[Anonymous]

That's right.