Being “Queer” in College

Ellie-V

For the peeps who may be apart of the lgbt+ and getting ready for the college experience. I think I’m qualified to talk about this since I am a pansexual woman, about to graduate in just a few months.

Being “Queer” in College

1. For the most part, no one cares

If you happen to still be in the closet and university is around the corner, do not fret. College is the time to be OUT of that gosh darned closet 😂 It won't even matter if there aren’t a ton of other young adults like you at your school of choice. Why? Because now you’re dealing with actual like-minded adults who are too busy trying to not be broke. Not a lot of people have the free time to be loud n proud bigots. Of course there will be those group of people who are totally against your preference, lifestyle, and/or identity. But I guarantee you 99% of them won’t have the balls to say it to your face. If you want to watch out for the rest of he 1%, you can. But it isn’t necessary.

Now if you just so happen to live in a conservative area or if your school of choice is in a conservative area then...oof. That 99% might drop significantly. But I encourage you to not be discouraged. Let your freak flag fly and do not be afraid to be yourself. You are an adult now. Do you, make your money, get your education and keep it pushing.

2. The bi curious George’s 😐

These people can either be extremely annoying or extremely fun. This depends on you. Are you a gay man or lesbian lady? Or even bisexual? Well congratulations, that easily makes you a target for all the busy bodies who can’t/won’t make up their mind.

Bi curious people in college usually aren’t serious about their “curiosity”. A lot of them just want to dib and dabble for the hell of it, and that’s fine. Just don’t make anyone make you feel like a science experiment. Yes, hookup culture does exist in most schools but at the end of the day every individual has feelings. And maybe your heart is not capable of feeling used, especially when it comes to the amusement of those who don’t take sexual identity seriously.

But like I said, they could be extremely fun as well. Maybe college will be your time to experiment yourself and bi curious people usually come with no strings attached. Most of them end up deciding they are straight anyway.

3. Your choice of voice

University life is sort of notorious for the ongoing protests the students involve themselves in.

I know there are some lgbt+ people who really don’t care about the politics or the “community” aspect that comes with the territory of not being straight. So if you have lgbt friends who want to march or go to pride or whatever kind of big event... you don’t have to join in on all the fuss.

I say this because one of my friends got really hot headed about me not going to last pride parade. Some will feel like if you aren’t full on SJW for Queers, then you’re not really gay/les/trans/non-binary, whatever. Just don’t let anyone pressure you into doing the most when it’s just not in your character. But maybe you do want to do the most and that is fine, but don’t go pressuring others as well.

4. For my trans folks...

Unfortunately, you probably won’t find many people such as yourselves specifically. And I know that for people like you, it can be a lot easier to express yourself when you’re not the only one “out”. Sometimes it really sucks to be a minority.

Yes, the media does normalize and promote the acceptance of minorities (no matter who it is). But don’t get it confused. You’re still a minority.

So you probably won’t get to connect with other tans people in college, but what you can do (if it matters to you that much) is try to find drag shows around/near your area. Yes, for the most part it’s filled with gays. But there are also trans people there. If if you cannot find that environment then I encourage you to either embrace the rest of the lgbt+ community or find an online group for trans folks.

I love you ❤️ and I don’t want you to feel lonely when you don’t have to. Because when you haven’t 100% transitioned, I know it can be really hard to find your crowd.

And not every trans person is going to have a lonely experience, so hopefully that won’t be you. However you should mentally prepare yourself for the negative reality you may face as you become a trans adult.

5. Semi-Serious relationships

Now this last one is for my females who swing on both sides...if you date a guy who KNOWS you are bi/pan, do not be surprised if he asks you for a threesome.

Why am I calling this a semi serious relationship?

Well, because not a lot of people in college want long term deals. But the many who try will still have sneaky ways to dib and dabble, you know 😏

6. Yes, the DEVILS TANGO!

Be safe. Be responsible with your own body. Get checked regularly and REQUIRE your partners to get checked as well. Look at them document👀

It better say “clean” or “negative” or any other word that means they ain’t got nothing nasty.

Everyone should be safe yes but we all know hat gay men in particular have the highest std rates...unfortunately.

Aside from all that, roofies and date rape and all that stuff is real so be extra careful at parties. And sometimes you being open and out of the closet can make you a target for the creeps in the world. Bring a water bottle, and drink with a foil cover and a straw to limit the possibility of someone spiking your water. If you wanna get lit, fine, but please pour your own drink!!!

That is all. I love you, lovelies 💕 Thanks for reading!

Being “Queer” in College
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A-man-22
    I'm not going to complain if LGBT just acts like the rest of us just has a different sexuality.

    What really annoys me is that they think waving flags and going on big pride parades will make them seen as the norm by society.

    Non LGBT people don't do this.
    If you want LGBT to be considered normal like straight is don't act like you are special.

    Pansexual is also I feel the tipping point for:
    people who want to get on in society just have a different sexuality
    To:
    People who want to destroy a model that has worked for 2+ millenia just because they can't get over the fact you don't need to exactly fit in a category to be in a category.

    Pansexual is not having a gender preference when it comes to dating.
    Bisexuals don't mind dating either men or women.

    In my opinion this makes them almost the same.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Pride is more for us than it is for anyone else. We have Pride as a way of showing each other that "hey, we're here, we've not had our spirits crushed, and you are not alone."

      Pan vs Bi is really nuanced, but it's sort of up to the individual person. I think I might technically be pan - I don't care what's in your pants, you can be a girl with a dick or a guy with a pussy and I'll still be into you if there's a connection - but I prefer to classify myself as bi because I normally go for people who identify as male or female. Pan just sort of says that you go for people who might not identify as either (which is their own right)

    • Ellie-V

      What @FallOutBoy2001 said.

      The labels are more of a personal thing. It doesn’t matter if you agree or not, the label is for me. I know what and who I am. I know what I like.
      But you are right. Pansexuality is not having a gender preference. That is EXACTLY the point. If you see Bi and Pan as the same, then good for you.

      Straight people don’t need or want a pride for themselves. Straight people don’t have a history of being bullied and ostracized BECAUSE of their sexuality.
      Pride is for the lgbt to celebrate ourselves and support one another. It’s not for you, unless you just want to be apart of it. Straight people go to pride as well.

    • Exactly. My parents reacted very poorly to me being trans. The fact that I had other LGBT people to lean on who knew what I was going through was very helpful, and it was very good to be able to see other people being out and proud. Straight and cis people don't really have to worry that much about parents abusing them because of who they are or who they like.

    • Show All
  • aa180
    Great advice for the LGBT+ community. I think most people these days are either accepting or simply indifferent towards people of your sexuality, and they'll probably become more accepting over time anyways. But great take :)
    Is this still revelant?
    • Ellie-V

      That’s why my first point was that most people don’t care

Most Helpful Girls

  • MlleCake
    It also helps to choose colleges that aren't restrictive about the private sexual conduct of consenting adult students. Very religious colleges tend to be the worst.

    One can definitely make LGBT acceptance a necessary criteria for choosing. And you can research what the general culture is before applying.

    Public universities tend to be more accepting, at least in the US.
    Is this still revelant?
    • What happens if a white, male, straight, Trump-supporter went to a college in your area? How would he be accepted there?

    • MlleCake

      @unKN1GHTed Um, probably just debated with, and left to his own most of the time. I mean, College kids LOVE to debate because they are learning so much that opens their eyes to new realities. But, it would be very rare to see a guy like that harassed, threatened and niggled constantly when he is just walking to class or buying something at the bookstore.

      But LGBT people, women, and minorities have experiences where they just get fucked with nearly every time they emerge from their dorm.

      To be honest here, I can't imagine that that white dude is going to experience that kind of harassment much. Maybe some. Maybe a lot if he shows up at a Pride rally. I'm not saying it never happens anywhere, but it is just so not comparable at all.

    • Interesting, because many of my friends are constantly harrassed on social media and real life for being republican. I'm a supporter myself, but I care about my education too much. Also, my professors are always pushing us to be leftist.

      On the other hand, I see many LGBT people who are openly gay, have many friends, are supported, and even praised for their sexuality, and get better scholarships.

      I guess different people have different experiences.

    • Show All
  • Yoooooooooooou
    Why are you getting hate on this? It was a lovely take and you seem like a sweet person.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Ellie-V

      Thank you, I appreciate that ☺️
      I believe people hate this because they don’t like seeing LGBT related content.

    • Of course because people on GaG are edgy asf and they do not like lgbt but are all for sex and being shallow but hate loose people yet they're against religion.
      Some confusing people on here lmao

    • Ellie-V

      Exactly 👏🏾👏🏾

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • ManOnFire
    I generally don't care about somebody being gay or lesbian. It's the bisexual females I have no respect for to be completely honest. They seem sleazier to me than anybody. We label men as the ones who will fuck anything, yet females are the ones fucking anything and we're calling it 'sexually flexible,' 'fluid,' or being more comfortable with their sexuality.

    I find nothing attractive about a woman who can sleep with both men and women. Sorry.
    • Ellie-V

      How is any of that relevant? This is advice for lgbt people who are entertaining college. Has zero to do with your personal distaste for bisexual women.

    • ManOnFire

      You wrote about sexuality for college and mentioned bi folks in it. So I'm a straight male giving my opinion on the matter. You can just block me if you don't like it.

    • Ellie-V

      I didn’t block you. And it doesn’t matter if I like what you say. Again, your personal distaste for bisexual women is irrelevant. This is advice for the lgbt.

  • MyMintFrappe
    Some girls sadly aren't even bi-curious. They know full well they are heterosexual but they "experiment" because they think it makes them appear hotter and adventurous to guys if it gets out that they've been with a girl before. It didn't happen to me but it happened to a good friend of mine. We saw the other girl at a party and no surprise she would bring up how she's been with a girl before when flirting with guys.
    • ovixs90

      For me it would be a turn off

    • @ovixs90 Most young girls are very clueless and many assume all men want bisexual women, so some feign it. Truth is, they're mostly going to attract douchbags who want a threesome, rather than an actual boyfriend.

  • linaashxx
    I’ll just leave this here.
  • Lovelygirl420
    America is turning gay. I just want a nice man with a hard dick. No bi, no queer, no fluid shit.
    • Ellie-V

      That’s great for you but what does that have to do with the take.

  • TheGayenner
    If you are pansexual you don't qualify. All that means is you are just a weird pervert. Probably insane.
  • winterfox10
    Why do you refer to yourself as Pansexual instead of Bisexual?
    • Ellie-V

      Because bisexual is just a simplification. The term pansexual is more accurate for me personally.

    • Oh... have you found yourself sexually attracted to a non-conforming person?

    • Ellie-V

      Yes, I have

    • Show All
  • DanoMR98
    Good take, OP.

    Don't bother with the reactionary chuds in the comments here. I'm not queer myself, but as an ally, I would tell you that those people don't matter.
  • juan101
    lol GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
  • Kaneki05
    Legit the 1st part saying for the most part no one cares.

    Is exactly what i was gonna say, no one really cares in collage and it is the same in school tbh.
  • In America, you can't go to college if you're not queer.
  • PsychoKiller
    So what are you in the end, homosexual, bisexual or something else? As far as I know "queer" was a derogatory term for homosexuals, but now it sounds like it's a separate thing
    • Ellie-V

      This isn’t about my own sexuality. It’s just advice for other lgbt people

    • Queer is kind of something we reclaimed - other minorities have taken back some terms they find derogatory. Now we kind of use it as a catch-all for anyone who is LGBT

  • Eleni91
    Yes luckily I live in Open Minded area of The Country and in the city.
  • Effie91
    Nice Take also fined it when you find out who your real friends are.
  • PrincessGrail
    Great Take!!!
  • psychoticallyawkward
    This is so good! Thanks for sharing.
  • laurieluvsit
    Great take as always Ms Ellie! :)
  • John_Doesnt
    Doesn't the thought of Cthuluhu bother you?
  • GayHowellMeme
    In Californian colleges everyone is queer
  • Demetra89
    Good Take and target by hate groups.
  • Texaskid1
    WTF is a pansexual?

  • DJZest
    Once gay; always gay.
  • Nice take
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