I just recently left my job I worked for for quite a long time. I am young (20) and this was my first proper job. It started off well, his wife also worked for him, anyway a little down the line he confessed to liking me while having a fiancé and while he very well knew I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been in a relationship for years with. I have messages in chats for proof. I continued to work for him because it was my first proper job I needed the experience and I wouldn’t be able to live without the money as I am living on my own with NO family or friends here, just my boyfriend who is in the same place as I am. As time went on he treated my boyfriend worse (he worked for my boss too) and we decided to resign after we decided we had enough money to last a while. We have asked for written references to which he has said no to, only calls. We always did everything we needed to and worked hard and I believe he said he will only do a call reference because he does not want to give us a good one, not because of our work because I truly believe we worked much harder than asked for but I feel it’s because of me rejecting him and he didn’t quite like it possibly? I could talk to the management company about what happened but I don’t feel that it will resolve anything and to be honest also quite scared. It’s daunting to take that “legal action” step being so young. I would always laugh it off or just say what I had to so he wouldn’t get upset because I needed the experience and the money to live. I just want the written reference letter and to move on. I just started out in this industry that I am in and don’t want to not find another job because I rejected him and he may give back regencies out of spite. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Coping with a boss that likes you?
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Yeah…. This is not good. You seem like a good woman with good morals and standards. You definitely need to speak to management about this and HR.
It’s one thing if two people are both single and someone likes someone and doesn’t harass someone if rejected. Possibly a little awkward.
But this is really strange behavior. I would also tell your boyfriend about his behavior
I have told my boyfriend about it, I immediately told him even though my boss asked me not to tell anyone, I felt it was only right just so he knows what kind of situation we’re in. Unfortunately the industry I’m in does not have HR’s, we have management companies that handle everything but I’m worried how it will affect me and future jobs if it starts to get taken bigger and things like lawsuits start to happen. It’s just a little daunting being young and not really knowing how it works. I did leave on good terms but my industry relies heavily on references and I’m worried since he won’t give a written reference, that if a future employer contacts him he will speak bad of
me because I rejected him
You’re in the right in the situation and 💯 you need to speak to management. He has no right to defame you because you rejected him. That could result in you suing for everything
Don't worry about a reference. When you apply for a job just list your experience. At your age and experience, most likely they won't call your old boss. Instead they will decide based on the interview.
I hope so. The industry I’m in relies quite heavily on references so just a little worried
Even so, if contacted by a perspective employer, your prior boss may refuse to answer questions, but he is not going to lie. That would be risking a lawsuit that he definitely doesn't want. Read the following: www.legalmatch.com/.../...-previous-employers.html
Regardless, even if the worse happens, there are lots of temporary jobs in health care; usually for day or two is someone is sick or a week or more if someone is on vacation. Just find an agency that provides temporary help with people they can call. Temporary work doesn't the benefits; however, it can lead to full-time employment. Also, your temporary employers will give references. Or you may prefer it. Read the following: www.monster.com/.../temporary-work-in-healthcare
Your work may not be in healthcare but that applies for other types of jobs. And, since temporary agencies provide temporaries in most all fields, they want people they can call and depend on when an employer needs a temporary worker.