Well, I exploit their quirks.
For example, there's a secretary that worked twenty years into the city hall, and for twenty years has had the habit of keeping a plastic glass of water - not on her desk, but on a fileboard. I move it because I don't want to risk spilling it on the files, and everyone tells me that as soon as I do that, she takes notice and goes to put it back once I've left.
Sometimes I go to the cabinet not to grab anything, just to mess with her and move her water glass. Sometimes I do it seven-eight times a day.
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I would genuinely like to help you think of something. But I need more information about the situation you're dealing with. Also timelines? Does this have to be done today; "soon"; or is this something you can take your sweet ass time to perfect.
Mostly, logistically... what are we talking about here. Is this a pizza place with 12 employees who work there; or a big restaurant; or an office; or a warehouse. What sort of limitations are you looking at. Are you trying to ofuck with ALL of them? or only specific one's. Just how badly do you want them to get fucked? Do you want them to KNOW it was you who fucked them?
I am spiritually and in principle on board here. I assume you've got good reasons. I don't think you're generally insane or a bad person. So lets have some details and get to scheming. Lemme know. 🙂
Them:
Me: *looks at them weird*
Them: What's wrong?
Me: Nothin' I thought I saw something behind you.
Them: Like what?
Me: Eh, i couldn't tell. Maybe it was just a bug.*continues to do this once a month or a so so now they're looking back suspiciously like there's something there; there's nothing*
Hide the toilet paper or soap in the bathrooms
That's really bad tho you shouldn't do that
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I never did that, didn't even try to think about screwing others heads, I liked most people at least enough. There's plenty of messes going on in just basic human communication without any effort. It's work, the owners own it and I work for them. If I don't like it, I leave.
oh wait, I was really mad once and thought about taking a bazooka to the building. But that isn't subtle...
May I ask you to clarify?
By fuck with, do you mean to mess with them?
Or do you literally want to fuck with coworkers.
Nowadays people are degenerate enough that literal sex on the workplace seems like an option.What kind of environment is it? Does everyone have their own work space?
Maybe adopt a tactic I used back in school. I would start humming or singing some obscure, but not to obscure song and drive people batty with their trying to remember who sang it or the lyrics.
What's the industry and awareness level of management?
Just don't and save yourself future headaches and drama.
Put salt in their coffee instead of sugar
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