Was I wrong for telling off our autistic coworker for lack of social cues or being lazy at work?

[Anonymous]

Okay so we have this coworker working with us in our kindergarten classroom. Student started early like on Monday which is July 31st. The first day went alright. But yesterday and today she didn’t help with toileting at ALL! She was just laying on the floor with the kids and didn’t help. Didn’t bother to help with setting the food for the kids or nothing!! I told her Tuesday she needs to help and I got stern with her. So she did. She was always on her phone and gets an attitude when we tell her to please help her. She made an excuse that with her autism she “forgets” and take it easy on her. I rolled my eyes. She’s an ADULT. She signed up for the job so apparently she is capable. I’m sick of autistic people and people with other disabilities use their disabilities as an excuse to get out of things. No! She’s an adult so I’m going to treat her like one. I hate to sound blunt but I didn’t want her in our classroom. I don’t know what she is capable of, I don’t know if she’ll scream or whatever because I’ve never self with a special needs cowgirl and quite frankly intimidating (she’s very tall at least 6ft). She has no common sense, she doesn’t get social cues and she doesn’t always “get it” and it drives me crazy! I told her off. I know we worked together during staff development and she helped us set up the class but could do her job with the kids! I know it’s only day three and still getting to know the kids and each other but I’m tired of her not helping. It’s always the offer coworker and I doing all the toileting. When I’m at work, I don’t play around and I’m not nice, but I’m kind. Should I report her to the Admin or just give her a chance?

[Anonymous]

Kindness never hurts. ﾠ

[Anonymous]

Upon reflection, I think you may have been too harsh in telling off your autistic coworker. Here are some things to consider:

• People with autism often struggle with social cues, change in routine, and subtle expectations in the workplace. This does not mean they cannot be capable employees with proper support and understanding.

• Your coworker's struggles on the first days were likely due to being new and adjusting to a different environment, not laziness. Cutting her some slack would have been a kinder approach initially.

• Saying things like "I'm tired of autistic people using their disability as an excuse" suggests a lack of understanding and empathy. Autism is a disability - your coworker cannot simply turn it off or push through it easily.

• While you expect professionalism, raising your voice and "telling off" an autistic coworker was counterproductive and unkind. A gentler, empathetic conversation may have been a better approach.

• Your coworker asking you to "take it easy on her" was likely a plea for understanding and support as she navigates a neurotypical workplace. This could have been a chance for compassion and guidance, instead of frustration.

• Reporting her may achieve little at this point. A better next step could be sitting down calmly, apologizing for any harshness, and asking how you can provide the support she needs to thrive in her role. Listen without judgment.

In summary, while frustrations are understandable, autistic people often require patience, clear expectations, routine, and empathy from coworkers. Her struggles likely stem from neurodivergence, not laziness. With understanding and proper guidance, she still may be able to succeed in her role. A kinder, more collaborative approach going forward could get better results for everyone.

Hope this perspective provides some

reflection, I think you may have been too harsh in telling off your autistic coworker. Here are some things to consider:

• People with autism often struggle with social cues, change in routine, and subtle expectations in the workplace. This does not mean they cannot be capable employees with proper support and understanding.

• Your coworker's struggles on the first days were likely due to being new and adjusting to a different environment, not laziness. Cutting her some slack would have been a kinder approach initially.

• Saying things like "I'm tired of autistic people using their disability as an excuse" suggests a lack of understanding and empathy. Autism is a disability - your coworker cannot simply turn it off or push through it easily.

• While you expect professionalism, raising your voice and "telling off" an autistic coworker was counterproductive and unkind. A gentler, empathetic conversation may have been a better approach.

• Your coworker asking you to "take it easy on her" was likely a plea for understanding and support as she navigates a neurotypical workplace. This could have been a chance for compassion and guidance, instead of frustration.

• Reporting her may achieve little at this point. A better next step could be sitting down calmly, apologizing for any harshness, and asking how you can provide the support she needs to thrive in her role. Listen without judgment.

In summary, while frustrations are understandable, autistic people often require patience, clear expectations, routine, and empathy from coworkers. Her struggles likely stem from neurodivergence, not laziness. With understanding and proper guidance, she still may be able to succeed in her role. A kinder, more collaborative approach going forward could get better results for everyone.

Hope this perspective provides some

reflection, I think you may have been too harsh in telling off your autistic coworker. Here are some things to consider:

• People with autism often struggle with social cues, change in routine, and subtle expectations in the workplace. This does not mean they cannot be capable employees with proper support and understanding.

• Your coworker's struggles on the first days were likely due to being new and adjusting to a different environment, not laziness. Cutting her some slack would have been a kinder approach initially.

• Saying things like "I'm tired of autistic people using their disability as an excuse" suggests a lack of understanding and empathy. Autism is a disability - your coworker cannot simply turn it off or push through it easily.

• While you expect professionalism, raising your voice and "telling off" an autistic coworker was counterproductive and unkind. A gentler, empathetic conversation may have been a better approach.

• Your coworker asking you to "take it easy on her" was likely a plea for understanding and support as she navigates a neurotypical workplace. This could have been a chance for compassion and guidance, instead of frustration.

• Reporting her may achieve little at this point. A better next step could be sitting down calmly, apologizing for any harshness, and asking how you can provide the support she needs to thrive in her role. Listen without judgment.

In summary, while frustrations are understandable, autistic people often require patience, clear expectations, routine, and empathy from coworkers. Her struggles likely stem from neurodivergence, not laziness. With understanding and proper guidance, she still may be able to succeed in her role. A kinder, more collaborative approach going forward could get better results for everyone.

Hope this perspective provides some

[Anonymous]

Most people on the spectrum have no social cues or the awareness compared to an adult or even a child. Depending how severe they are on the spectrum, it is such a broad range. I have personally worked with those on the spectrum and you will be faced with manipulation & high IQ tactics from get population. Be stern, but understand what you can comprehend will be completely different for that individual if they are truly on the spectrum. Yelling does not aid in helping them to “get it”. Their brain can only have the capacity to be aware of so much depending on the severity of the diagnosis. Patience beyond your average patience id required, or I suggest not to be involved with them if you have the choice. It will be very frustrating, you must always meet them halfway. Best regards.

[Anemone978]

Its only been 3 days calm down lol.. She is just getting used to things. If she isn't doing enough then just tell her come help us set up, can you help that child go to the washroom.. How do you work with kids if you are such a bitch? lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Upon reflection, I think you may have been too harsh in telling off your autistic coworker. Here are some things to consider:

• People with autism often struggle with social cues, change in routine, and subtle expectations in the workplace. This does not mean they cannot be capable employees with proper support and understanding.

• Your coworker's struggles on the first days were likely due to being new and adjusting to a different environment, not laziness. Cutting her some slack would have been a kinder approach initially.

• Saying things like "I'm tired of autistic people using their disability as an excuse" suggests a lack of understanding and empathy. Autism is a disability - your coworker cannot simply turn it off or push through it easily.

• While you expect professionalism, raising your voice and "telling off" an autistic coworker was counterproductive and unkind. A gentler, empathetic conversation may have been a better approach.

• Your coworker asking you to "take it easy on her" was likely a plea for understanding and support as she navigates a neurotypical workplace. This could have been a chance for compassion and guidance, instead of frustration.

• Reporting her may achieve little at this point. A better next step could be sitting down calmly, apologizing for any harshness, and asking how you can provide the support she needs to thrive in her role. Listen without judgment.

In summary, while frustrations are understandable, autistic people often require patience, clear expectations, routine, and empathy from coworkers. Her struggles likely stem from neurodivergence, not laziness. With understanding and proper guidance, she still may be able to succeed in her role. A kinder, more collaborative approach going forward could get better results for everyone.

Hope this perspective provides some food for thought. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. There's a lot of people who claim to be Autistic or at least more autistic then the actually are simply because they don't want to make any effort to be a fully functioning member of society. It's one of the crazy things about the way our society has become. In the past a person would have been ashamed of this.

[Asker]

So what should we do?

[Opinion Owner]

Well I'd document all these problems and bring it before the principal.

[molonski2]

I think you were correct to tell her off , bottom line is if she wants this job she needs to be productive , and she needs to do the job properly , she might be " caring " and sweet to the kids , but the job is a whole more than that. Using this handicap how she wishes by the sound ot if , if she can't do the gig , then get her out of there , its not just playing.

[Anonymous]

So incredibly ignorant and shameful of you. I’d advise you take some time to read up on autism, and how disabilities vary from person to person. Her responses and actions are not going to be like yours just because she’s an adult, but if you’re that gung-go on discriminating against her then take it up with your supervisor, watch what a jerk you’ll look like with those words pouring out of your mouth.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shouldn't work in child care If that's your attitude towards people with autism. So what if she is an adult get an education on how it actually affects people before being a pos

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Dude, you sound super ableist. I get that you’re frustrated but that kind of shit is liable to get you sued for discrimination.

[ladysu]

It has just started and it will take some time for it to be compatible with a normal person. I think try to help him for 1 month. If he can't adapt to work, you complain to the manager

[gothbxtch]

yes, you were. that was ableist as hell