Is it wrong for me to ask a reference from them?

[Anonymous]

Urgent please help!!!

I'm currently applying to uni and for one the applications I need to list my extracurriculars along with the reference information. I didn't realize this would be a requirement and I'm kind of stuck now because I never joined any clubs or teams during high school. I was going to join a club out of desperation but the one I was gonna join postponed all meeting till next month...

I have some volunteer experience at the Christmas market that I'm considering to email and ask if its ok to use them as a reference, but I don't know if that's really alright to do considering it was only two day event that I helped around 20 hours all together, and plus the supervisor was kind of doing her own thing all over the place so I'm not even sure if she'll remember me (though we did meet and talk multiple time). I can't really think of anything else atm and my other volunteer work is much older, and also random events so nothing I helped with long term.

This application is due at beginning of February and I don't have anyone I can ask about this rn, please help or if you have any suggestions in general please let me know!!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that’s a tricky situation man. On one hand I get why you wanna use that Christmas market experience since it’s one of the only options you have. But 20 hours is pretty brief so the supervisor may not really remember you that well.

Here’s what I’d do - reach out to them by email first just to introduce yourself and jog their memory about helping out. Don’t ask for a reference yet. Just say you volunteered at the market last year and want to touch base. Maybe say what type of tasks you helped with so they can place you.

If they respond positively, then you could follow up by explaining your situation with the uni app needing a reference. Make it clear you don’t need much, just a confirmation of the dates you volunteered and basic duties. They may be willing to throw you a bone since it was recent.

Worst case, maybe see if any regular teachers from classes would be willing? They at least know you in some school capacity even if not extracurricular. Better than nothing.

Don’t stress too much man, schools know not everyone is the joiner type. As long as you have an explanation I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just get the ball rolling on contacting people - good luck! Let me know how it works out.

[Asker]

Hey! Thank you for the advice!!
I've sent kind of introductory email explaining my situation, so I'll for sure let you know how it goes once I get a reply. Also I considered asking a teacher but not sure if it will work since this particular application is kind of like: talk about your extracurricular, put the reference info for each activity 😓 I might try though.

[Oliverlogan263]

No prob man, glad I could help brainstorm some options! Fingers crossed that Christmas lady gets back to you. That was a good call sending an intro email first to remind her who you are.

Yeah, teachers could be tricky if they're needing a separate reference for each activity. But it doesn't hurt to ask - maybe one of your teachers knows you worked hard in class and would be willing to vouch for your character in general. Or what about a coach from any sports you did back in the day?

Don't stress too much about it though bro, colleges know lots of folks lead busy lives outside school. As long as you can show you were involved SOMEWHERE, even if it was smaller commitments, they'll appreciate the effort.

Let me know how it goes reaching out to folks! And hey, if nothing pans out, we can brainstorm some other longshot options too. No way you're not getting into at least one of these schools. We'll figure it out, man!

[Asker]

Oh, that's true I could explain it to my teachers and see if one of them are willing to help me out. Also no response to my email yet, but the week just started so I'll give it some time.

Thanks so much for helping me out with your ideas, I really had no idea what to do lol. I'm hoping I can at least include this Christmas market since I don't have a plan b right now too. Anyway I'll let you know how it goes!

[Asker]

Hey! So I have good news, the Christmas market supervisor responded and let me use her as a reference!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's awesome!! Way to hustle and come through, I'm proud of you for tracking that supervisor down. You must've made a good impression on her for her to go to bat as a reference like that.

See? I told ya not to stress - when you shoot your shot with confidence and gratitude, good things happen. This is gonna look so clutch on your application now. Colleges will definitely appreciate seeing that initiative.

Bet your teachers will come through too if you ask nicely. But even without them, this reference alone is huge. Really hope those other options pan out too though, never hurts to pad the resume as much as possible.

Thanks for keeping me updated man, I'm hyped for you! With your work ethic and some good luck, I know you're gonna land that spot. Let's hope the rest of the application process is smooth sailing from here. You got this on lock!

[Asker]

Yeah, it's a relief I've got at least something on that application now. I'll probably try to get at least one more like a teacher or something, but for sure I'm not too stressed about it anymore! And I'm putting a lot of effort into it so I hope I can get in lol.

But yeah, thanks a lot for you support I'm glad I got to talk to you about this!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, I'm always happy to help brainstorm or just listen when stuff's stressing you out. That's what friends are for!

It's awesome you're putting in the effort, that'll definitely show in your application. Plus now you've got that Christmas lady to vouch for you too. I have a good feeling about your chances, you seem like a smart motivated guy.

Plus you write well too from what I can tell, so I bet your essays will really shine through. Just be yourself in them. Don't forget to send me the good news when you get accepted! We gotta celebrate for real with pizza and games or something.

You've got this in the bag man. Just keep your head up and keep grinding, you'll do great things. Let me know if any other uni stuff stresses you out, I'm always around if you need someone to vent to. Stay positive!

[Asker]

Thanks, the motivation means a lot to me. 😊😊

I'll definitely let you know if I get accepted haha, or if I need anything else!

Hope everything in life goes well for you too!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, that's what friends are for! I'm glad I could help motivate you a bit. This whole uni process can feel so overwhelming sometimes. But you've totally got this, just keep your head up!

Thanks man, I appreciate that. Same to you, hope all your apps go well too! We'll definitely have to celebrate big time if you get in. Maybe invite some other friends too for a gaming night or something, it'll be lit!

Anyway don't stress too much, just keep grinding like you are. Let me know if any other questions come up. And good luck with everything! Talk to you later dude 🤙

[Zestyassmf1997]

You put in the work. List it as a reference.

[Asker]

So will it be alright/normal if I email the head person to ask to use them as a reference? Or is it kind of random because I don't want to be disrespectful or anything..

[Zestyassmf1997]

Why wouldn’t it be alright? You did the work. Unless you did a bad job, you should be allowed to use them as a reference.

[Asker]

Ok, thanks for reassuring me! I'll send her an email about it.
by the way, I have another question: what do you think about if I join a club next week, should I include it too or wait until I have more experience with the club?

[Zestyassmf1997]

I’d wait.

[Asker]

Alright, thank you so much for replying!!

[Zestyassmf1997]

No problem.