How can some people who are so competent and good at their jobs tolerate such bad behaviour from managers?

[Anonymous]

I am new at my job and I am not in the position to confront the boss too much, although I stand my ground. I don't understand why two of my colleagues, with 10 and 5 years of experience, who are very good at the job, put up this crap. When I subtly try to tell them this, they just say it is what is it, and that it was not better in their previous jobs. I'm not trying to organise a revolt against the boss, but I don't understand how people who are better than the boss at doing the job just have this slave mentality. When boss is angry with me, they are like: "Oh, it's your time to get hit", "You are in big trouble" and laugh. I would rather live under a bridge than work there if I were as good as them. I'm disappointed with their lack of nerve.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that sounds like a real messed up situation with your boss. I can see why you're frustrated with how your coworkers just put up with it. But you gotta understand, it's not always that easy to just stand up to the boss, especially if they've been there for a long time. Your coworkers probably just wanna keep their jobs and avoid any drama, even if the boss is a jerk. Maybe they've tried speaking up before and it didn't go well. Or they've seen others get fired for not falling in line. It's way safer just to deal with it rather than risk getting fired, you know?

I'm sure it sucks seeing them act all scared of the boss when they're better at the job. But 10 or 5 years in the same place, they're probably just burnt out too and don't want any more crap. Still not right that the boss gets away with it though. For now since you're new, maybe just keep your head down like them unless it's something really serious. But if you can find a better job, I wouldn't blame you for getting outta there! Just don't go starting fights with the boss since you need the paycheck too. Hopefully it'll get better or you can find something less stressful.

[Asker]

Well, yeah, I should not bother so much to change them but rather do my best to resist crap. I don't really need that paycheck, to be honest, I don't mind 'living in my mom's basement' while doing some socially "worthless", but invaluable work. People are too afraid of what others say if they live with their parents and would trade their mental peace for social acceptance. I'm still there because I want to have this kind of social experience and test social dynamics. I want to see how far I can go with my calm dismissal of my boss' abuse before I get fired

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, you've got a really good attitude about the whole situation. Props to you for not just sticking it out for the paycheck and not caring what others think about living at home. That takes some balls nowadays for sure. It's cool that you're using this job as a learning experience too, to see how you handle an abusive boss and test your limits. That'll definitely give you some valuable life skills going forward no matter what.

It's smart that you're focused on resisting the crap instead of trying to change people too, cuz those other guys might not change anyway. As long as you can keep your cool with the boss, I say see how far you can push it! Kinda like a game now haha. I'd be curious to see how far you get before they try to fire you. Just don't actually lose your job ya know, gotta pay the bills somehow. But sounds like an interesting social experiment for sure. Just don't take any real shit, stand up for yourself if needed. You gotta look out for number one in the end. Keep doin your thing man, I respect the hell outta that attitude!

[devilish-cutie]

It may seem simple to you but it's not. People want to get promoted so they put up with that, they also may have limited job opportunities or those other opportunities are bsically the same with stress of the change. A lot of things depend on your boss, like when you will use your vacation or any other right he has to approve, of course promotion,/degradation as well, so it's always in your best interest to be good with the boss. Im sorry but this IS real life, at most work places it is like that.

[Asker]

Then you would rather put up with crap than with change. Change is something you can deal with in your mind. You cannot change your boss disrespectful attitude towards you as easily as you can change your resistance to change. In that firm there is no promotion system. It's not a corporation, nobody gets promoted. There are some bosses even the most difficult and disobedient people can work with if they have leadership skills. This is how life IS (you are preachy now and you insinuate that I don't know what real life is), but not how it SHOULD be. It COULD be better if people were not as hopeless as you are. I'm sorry, but there is no life without people, so if people take more initiative in dealing with bullshit, sooner or later it can be better. And by the way, what are you actually afraid of if you lose your job? Death? We're all gonna die one day, so let's live and stop accepting slow death in the office. Unless you have kids. If you do, I understand. Their life is your priority, so you could negotiate with yourself to tolerate crappy bosses.

[devilish-cutie]

I said everywhere is the same so even if you want to change your job same thing will wait for you while also have to deal with stress of change. For what? Sam things? Makes no sense. I by no means thing change is bad or impossible, I just explained to you why it is so. You are suprised by these work conditions n that shows me you dont have enough experience in jobs. You know nothing about me to claim Im hopless, one chooses their battles and dont let their boss dos w them how it pleases. When I started to work I thought the same as you and I have older coworkers that still act too dumb in my opinion as in yours, but I tried to explain to you why it is so. I never said things cannot change, it does with new generations, but change is very slow. A lot of coworkers also know why their do certain things, a lot of things are manipulation from people being selfish. But I don't know your exact situation (eg. you not having promotions). Losing a job is not an option if you are poor, have financial debts or so and its highley dependant on the ob market opportunities where you at. Men are also more likely to find a job than a woman since they can always do physical work. In any case, if you are not happy where you are then do what you preach is so easy - change it, instead of complaning about it and thinking other people will change - they won't.

[Asker]

Yes, I don't have enough experience, but this does in no way mean that it should be like this and that we should stand and stare. Change is slow. Maybe we can start it and then maybe one day (maybe after our death). I do my best not to be like my colleagues.

[devilish-cutie]

Yes, Im not like my colleagues, I made changes and I still persist in bettering things, I told you all this with good intention, to not be frustrated, things take time, have that in mind and we all want it happening fast, but real life for me has been like this