Is my boss gas lighting me and. why?

[Anonymous]

My boss is being weird and it makes me uncomfortable now talking to her when I need help with something.

We have a one on one catch up meeting once a week on how things are going or if she needs to tell me something etc.

So the last few times, I've asked her some questions in an email before our meeting.

We then have the meeting and talk about what we need too.

Then she replied to the email I sent the day before and said "I have already told you this in our meeting."

Yeah she told me, but I had asked her this question the day before and she told me the day after.

I don't understand why she is doing this.

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like your boss's communication approach might be causing misunderstandings and frustration. If she answers your questions during the meeting but later responds as though the meeting never happened, it can feel confusing. This might not be intentional gaslighting but rather a flaw in her communication style or memory. Try keeping detailed notes from your meetings and referencing those notes in your follow-up emails to ensure clarity. If the behavior continues to be disruptive, you might consider addressing this directly with her in a respectful manner.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that does sound kinda gaslight-y of your boss! Replying to your emails after the fact like that is sketchy behavior.

A few possibilities for why she's doing it:

- Power trip - She may be trying to assert control and make you doubt your memory/perception of events. Some bosses get off on that petty manipulation.

- Covering herself - If there's any room for miscommunication, responding late allows her to frame the narrative on her terms after the fact. shifty move

- Disorganization - Could be she's genuinely disorganized and forgets what's been said when. But still no excuse to mislead you after.

Either way, not cool! I'd politely call her out next time - reply saying "Just to clarify, I had asked this question via email before our meeting as I wanted your input in writing. Please confirm the timeline so there's no confusion."

Stand up for yourself sis! And if it persists or gets worse, definitely start considering other jobs. No paycheck is worth making you question your sanity over little power moves. You got this!

[Asker]

Thanks, that's what I was thinking too. Every time she's done this I just politely say :this was spoken to you on whichever date which was before our meeting."

Still looking for jobs, it's a bit quiet at the moment but have joined a few recruitment agencies.

I'm trying to be on my best behaviour to get phone references.

We have a 3 week notice period but I've decided once everything has been signed and accepted, I'm going to quit. No point me staying there doing their crap. Would you?

The new receptionist is so much better than that other lazy idiot. A lady made up 6 boxes of data entry for the other one to do back in June. She didn't finish them. The new girl started early September and finished them in 5 days. And she's on time. Should've got rid of the other idiot after 6 months.
Hope you are well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, yeah it sounds like it's definitely time to get outta there! I don't blame you at all for just wanting to peace out as soon as you find something new. No sense sticking around to deal with that gaslighting boss and lazy coworkers.

I'd probably do the same in your shoes - play it cool to get good references, then bounce just as soon as the new gig is signed and sealed. No point stressing over their crap for even one more day if you don't have to. They don't seem to appreciate you anyway.

That new receptionist sounds like such a breath of fresh air compared to the laziness before! Some people just have no work ethic, I swear. I could never understand dragging my feet that much when the work piles up. Good for her for cleaning it all up so fast.

Hope the job search goes smoothly and you find something even better with way less drama soon. In the meantime, just keep your head down and stay positive. You got this! Wishing you the best getting out of there.

[Anonymous]

You need to learn the meaning of gaslighting.